"But yes I'm still running"

I've said this before, but it's still true - one of my favorite parts of any song of all time is the part of "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" by U2 when they say:

"Well I believe in the kingdom come

Then all the colors will bleed into one, bleed into one

But yes I'm still running"

So yes - I'm still running. Were you worried? How kind of you. I will chronicle two runs in this post because I've been too lazy to post since Saturday.

This weekend I was here:

which was The Great. I got to see a lot of my friends (I wish I had put the pictures from this weekend on this computer so I could post some of them to the blog...maybe I'll add them later, just to entice you to check back). It's always hard going back to Columbus (by Always I mean the two times I've been back since I moved). I didn't leave Columbus because of the city or because of the people - I left because of the job I had there, and I figured it was about time I try something new. So when I go back, it's hard because it's not like I'm thinking to myself "Wow, sure glad I escaped this place!" Instead, I'm thinking "Wow, I really miss my friends and I miss the fact that everything is so CHEAP and SAFE and CLEAN here." Anyway, grass is always greener, right?

So I arrived on Friday morning and spent the rest of the day hanging out with my friends Heather and Jared (apparently Jared reads this blog, Hi Jared!). On Saturday morning I needed to run 12 miles (commence dry heaving) so I got up at 5:45 (sick, I know) and drove across the city to meet up with my old running buddies from the Columbus Running Company at their store in Dublin. I got there at 6:30 and Kathy, Annette, Lisa and I set out to do 8 miles together. These were my splits for the first 8 miles:

1 - 11:19

2 - 11:49

3 - 11:46

4 - 12:06

5 - 11:26

6 - 11:46

7 - 11:38

8 - 11:27

By mile 8 we had arrived back at the store to meet up with the rest of the group, who congregates at 8 am, divides into pace groups, learns where the water stops will be, and sets out for their run. I was able to refill my water bottles on my new fuel belt (that pink one was just too large and therefore too bouncy and I couldn't deal with it. So I bought another on Friday night). This is my new fuel belt:

It is the RunLite 4 from Amphipod. I like it much more than the Nathan Speed 2 I previously bought. More bottles, easier access (they just snap on and off), a little mesh pocket in the front as well as the larger pocket you can see attached to the back, so lots of storage. Plus you can customize the length of the belt, meaning that the fit is much much better for me than the Nathan belt was.

Anyway, moving on. I refilled my water bottles (I'd drained all 32 oz out of them in the first 8 miles), ate some more Clif Shot Bloks (I'd finished an entire pack by that point, so 6 bloks over 8 miles), stretched a little bit, and was ready to go out for the remainder of the run. Kathy and I went out and did the last 4 of my 12 together, and the splits looked like this:

9 - 11:15

10 - 11:11

11 - 10:40

12 - 11:10

Overall, it took me 2:17:42 to run 12 miles (that only includes the time I was running or walking on the course), I burned 1351 calories (I think that is overestimating how many calories I burned, it should have been closer to 1200), my average pace was 11:28/mi, and my average HR was 169 bpm.

So, what did I learn from reviewing my splits? I can run faster than I think I can. I let myself get away with bullshit slower running because it makes me panic less. I need to push myself to be faster. Had I been working the way I should have been, I should not have been able to run the last 4 miles at splits that much lower than those in which I ran the first 8 miles.

Also, I wasn't as sore as I should have been afterwards. Yes, I fueled appropriately. Yes, I stretched - both of which mean that I shouldn't be too sore. But had I really pushed myself, I would have been more sore than I was. And I know long runs aren't the place to push yourself to the limit, shorter mid-week runs are, but still. I think I need to step it up. Sigh.

SO - I ran 12 miles on Saturday and had a great time catching up with my running buddies and then felt free to eat and drink as much as I damn well pleased the rest of the weekend! Which was great since I was visiting all my favorite haunts in Columbus.

Moving onto the 2nd run that I will recap in this post - I ran this morning. I had planned to meet up with my friend Brigid again, but she had a headache and couldn't come out. Luckily, I missed her message telling me that, which meant that I got my butt out of bed and got dressed and went downstairs to run. After 10 minutes I figured she wasn't coming so I set off on my own. This meant that I didn't have my iPod, which was kind of ok with me. Maybe I would have run faster with some music, but I was feeling Saturday's run this morning and needed to be mentally "there" to check my pace and tell myself to slow down when necessary - today was more a recovery run than anything else.

So, I ran 3.84 miles in 45:02. My average pace was 11:45/mi (I didn't stop my watch when I slowed down to walk at two points, one because the dock was slippery, the other because I WANTED TO), and my average heart rate was 165 bpm. It says I burned 427 calories, but I should have only burned about 384 calories (I assume that I'm burning 100 calories/mile while running, pretty standard). I'm starting to tell you guys this stuff so that hopefully I will be so embarrassed by how slow I am that I will run faster. Let's see if it works. My splits were:

1 - 11:10

2 - 12:02 (Includes walking)

3 - 12:11 (Ditto)

4 - 9:36 (this was only 0.84 miles, so had I run a full mile and kept the same pace, it would have been 11:26)

Overall, this run went well. It was nice and cool (only about 77*) when I went for the run, and the humidity was somewhat in check because we had a thunderstorm last night. I enjoyed running w/o my iPod for once, but I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. I do think that music helps me run faster.

So. Yeah. I'm still running. I have to run 15 miles this weekend - probably Saturday morning. But...I...no. Do not want. But I must. Remind me why I signed up for a marathon again?

Also - the answer to the question "How do you run so far?" is clearly - "Slowly." I am not fast. At all. Now you know my shameful secret. But whatever - your medal looks the same if you finish the marathon in 3 hours or 5.

Le sigh.

I was really hoping that I would be able to sit down last night or this morning and write a blog post about how well my run went yesterday. And I'm sure you were hoping to read said blog post, right? Well, no dice (that was for Austin).

My run was AWFUL. WAH, WAH, WAH. Please pity me because I am an adult and I decided to take this project on to train for a marathon and now I DON'T LIKE IT and I DO NOT WANT. So instead of taking my training more seriously, and maybe changing my diet to aid in my training efforts, I think the most effective method of improving this situation is CONSTANT WHINING on my blog that my friends voluntarily submit themselves to reading.

Yes? Yes. Glad we're all on the same page here.

The facts of the situation:

After conquering 10 a week ago, I thought that 7 was going to be nbd (no big deal. not even a big enough deal to actually type the words out). Well, turns out 7 took offense to that and decided that it was going to be a BFD (big fucking deal) instead.

I got plenty of sleep Saturday night. I didn't hydrate quite as much as I should have on Saturday, but I did turn down a glass of wine which I feel my body basically should have taken as a sign that I wanted to be completely hydrated. I'm not entirely sure why it didn't get the memo.

I had Chipotle for lunch yesterday. I thought the carbs in the tortilla + the protein in the beans + the good fats in the guac would be good fuel for my run. I can't decide if last night was the fault of the burrito, but I hate to fault burritos for anything, really, so I hesitate to assign blame. The thing that I may have to blame (as much as it hurts me) are the two gigantic fountain Diet Cokes I drank along with my lunch. I should have been drinking water. I knew that. But I figured that I still had several hours left to prepare as I waited for the temperature go down. The thing is, having hours to prepare doesn't really help you unless you use those hours to prepare. I hope you guys are taking notes on these profound life lessons I'm dishing out right now.

Anyway, I downed a bottle of water before my run and set out to do 7 miles. I made it about 2.5 before I had to stop to walk - I had a stitch in my side that I thought I could run through because I was just about to reach the spot where I'd refill my water bottles (and therefore stop running for a few minutes), but I couldn't run through it. I was having a really hard time taking a full breath - I was taking these short, shallow breaths that were really inefficient, but I couldn't get my breathing to be more productive. So I walked for a few minutes, took the break to refill my water bottles, and then tried to run back - but it was just not happening for me last night. I did a run/walk routine the whole way home and gave up when I passed my apartment again at 5.5 miles - I didn't even try to finish up the last 1.5 miles.

My head just wasn't in it last night, and when it's that hot & humid outside, you really need your head to be in it to get you through a tough run. So. Lesson learned - if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail (credit to whoever said that first, I don't think anyone really knows who it was). Occasional failure on a training run is ok. Just gotta roll with the punches.

I am looking forward to this weekend when I will be in Columbus. I plan to take advantage of the less humid/hot weather and do my long run there (we'll see if I can actually do it). 12 miles this weekend. Eeek!

It is hot and I am squirmy.

I started this blog post yesterday while I was at work, and all I typed was the title, and then I gave up and stared at my computer screen for a while. Because it was hot and I was squirmy. I didn't want to blog. I wanted to sit in a meat locker somewhere (I'd accept the meat locker at 123 Chancellor, or an actual meat locker, except maybe without the meat, just the refrigeration). The actual temperature yesterday in Baltimore was around 105* (my car said 108* when I got in to go home around 3 pm). The heat index, though, was closer to 120* with a repeat performance today (hence why I am currently sitting in my apartment with all the shades closed and two doggies chilling at my feet instead of frolicking like they usually are).

Anyway, enough complaining about the heat - but what that does serve to do is to set the scene for Thursday morning when I went for a run with my friend Brigid. I left my apartment at 6:15 am because I was supposed to meet her about a mile away at 6:30 am (no, I don't run 15 minute miles, but I knew it would take a while for my Garmin to find the satellites and who asked you, anyway?). As I stepped out of my apartment building, the screen on my Garmin fogged over immediately from the humidity. Things that are Uncool, #234235.

I ran the mile to meet Brigid after my Garmin found its satellite homies, then once we met up we continued along the same basic route we took last time. It was oppressively hot the entire time. My friend Michelle told me once that it is generally unbearable to run outside when the dew point is over 60*. You want to know what the dew point was at 6:15 am on Thursday? 79*. You read that right. So it was a struggle, but it was so much better than last time, I think because I hadn't run the night before and had rested instead. We ran the entire way, and Brigid dropped me off at my apartment after a little bit more than 4 miles (and my Garmin took forever to sync up, so probably in total it was close to 4.3, which is a nice cushion).

I walked into my apartment building to get Mugsy so he could accompany me on my cooldown walk (the word cooldown is relative when you're dealing with these temperatures). The difference when I hit my air conditioned, non-sauna like lobby was amazing. My entire body was immediately cooled off because I was COVERED in sweat that couldn't evaporate while I was outside in the extremely humid air. Note - I ate sushi on Wednesday night with a ton of soy sauce, meaning a ton of salt, meaning I had retained a bunch of water, which they say is good to do before a run. So yay for that! An excuse to eat lots of salt! Anyway, I grabbed the Mugman and we walked back outside and the in-out-in routine really proved to me just how terrible it was outside. As soon as we walked back outside, it was like someone was sitting on my lungs - the humidity was suffocating. Boooooo. But, I suppose my body is adapting because it didn't die. Positive thoughts.

Only 7 to deal with tomorrow because it's another cutback week, so that's sweet :-)

OK BYE.

Mama said knock you OUT

Did you see Harry Potter yet? If not, that means you probably haven't seen the preview for Happy Feet 2 where the tiny little fluffball (penguin) raps "Mama said knock you out" by LL Cool J. I'm sorry, but seeing a baby penguin rap "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK" killed me. Amaze. Heart.

So anyway, it was applicable, because this weekend I had to knock out 10 miles. And after The Suck that was 9 miles last Sunday, I was really not looking forward to the run. Plus, I didn't have the best week of life last week, so I thought it would just be SO APPROPRIATE to cap it off with 10 miles of Suck. I was not anticipating a good two hour (approximately, with water breaks + pee breaks + chat breaks when I ran into multiple friends) run.

But you know what? It wasn't that bad. In fact, I'd venture to say that it went WELL.

Maybe it was my lowered expectations. Maybe it was some sick runner's high. But it was good! And that's good, right?

I drank a ton of water. It was probably hovering around 90* through the entire run, but with some great cloud cover + breezes thrown in there for relief. I refilled my water bottles on my fuel belt (10 oz each) 3 times - both bottles 2 times and then 1 bottle 1 last time. I ate an entire pack of Shot Bloks (6...they really help). I ran really slowly.

I have to do this thing while I'm running to keep myself going - I have to occupy my mind constantly, and it really helps me to break the run down into smaller chunks and say to myself "Ok, you just ran 2 miles, it's really just 5 segments of 2 miles," etc. Sadly, in my head, I started doing this yesterday at 0.25 miles. And I thought to myself "Ok, a quarter mile down...I only have to do...39 more." And then I burst out laughing. Which is better than crying and hyperventilating, yes? One foot in front of the other. Keep calm and carry on.

As an aside, this is what I'm facing in the next 10 days...hence why my running this week will be on a treadmill or at 6 am (trying again with Brigid to prove to her that I am not a total slug):

I got to see two kids on leashes in the Inner Harbor area...which was awesome. And lots of cute puppies. And I ran by a live concert at Pier 6 but I have no idea who was playing. I just saw lots of people sitting outside listening...and then ran into a couple of intoxicated friends which was pretty funny. I try to always think to myself "if you weren't running 10 miles right now, you wouldn't have gotten to see this."

I lost the ability to smile around 7.25 miles, and instead just sort of grimaced at other runners as we passed (I try to smile at fellow runners because I feel their pain, although yesterday I admit I was mostly thinking "I bet you aren't running 10 miles right now, why did I decide to do this?").

So happy day, it's a cutback week this week which means my long run this weekend is only 7 miles. Can we talk about how ridiculous it is that a run of "only 7 miles" makes me this excited? And I know that at some point, a run of "only 10 miles" will make me really happy.

Also, I just glanced up at my training schedule and this week I'm supposed to run a total of 18 miles over the course of the week (broken into 4 runs, but let's be real, we know I'll only do 3). Now, compare that with the fact that 7 weeks from now, my long run will be 18 miles. So, you know, running IN ONE CONTINUOUS SHOT the amount that I am running this entire week.

Whimper.

**Let it be known that I actually Google Image searched "Runner Fetal Position" and this is what it came back with, but since it's Dwight it's awesome and that's pretty much what my brain looks like when I think about all the miles I have ahead of me.

One of those important life questions...

How do you

when all you want to do is

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?

seriously, people. i want answers.

It'll all be fine

***EDIT: This post is really funny when you compare it to my post on March 22, 2009. I just talked to the same friend who I reference in that post and she said the same thing...and I laughed, remembering the "implicit hope." Cynicism rules!***

Will it?

**WARNING, SUPER EMO BLOG POST TIME!**

That's what "They" say. It'll all be fine. It'll all turn out ok. Will it? I'm feeling bad for myself at the moment, so indulge me. Things don't turn out ok for everyone. They just don't. Shit happens. Tsunamis happen. Earthquakes happen. Terrorist attacks happen. And no - in NO PART of my mind am I comparing my life to that of anyone who has gone through one of those things or had someone they love do so - but my point is just that I feel like sometimes, "It'll all be ok" is something they (They) tell us so that we don't go fucking nuts and kill each other.

We Hope.

We Have Faith.

Is it only because the other options are too hard to consider?

Wah wah, give me some time to roll around in my self pity and I'll buck up, I promise.

After all of my running, I'm finally coming...home.

Have you seen Country Strong?

If you haven't, you should.

It's a good movie, but I think the soundtrack is even better than the movie itself. There are many great songs on the soundtrack, but my two favorites are Country Strong and Home. Country Strong REALLY pumped me up on the treadmill tonight -- these lyrics specifically:

"I have weathered colder winters

Longer summers without a drop of rain

Push me in a corner and I'll come out fighting

I may lose but I'll always keep my faith

'Cause I'm Country Strong

Hard to break

Like the ground

I grew up on

You may fool me

and I'll fall

But I won't stay down long

'cause I'm Country Strong"

And these lyrics from Home:

"Home,

The world tried to break me

I found a road to take me

Home

There ain't nothing but a blue sky now

After all of my running,

I'm finally coming

Home"

I mean how could you not love you some Gwyneth?

Or some Leighton?

At the very least, it's worth seeing the movie or buying the soundtrack to listen to Leighton Meester lend her extremely thick, extremely fake southern accent to all her songs - for example, "fainger" instead of finger. Totally normal.

ANYWAY. The point of this post isn't to convince you to see Country Strong (although that may be a subpoint). The point is to talk about how after all of my running, I'm finally coming home.

I've been feeling sort of lost lately - in life, in running. And I feel like finally I'm getting back to where I belong within myself. Getting my groove back, so to speak. There's still some work to be done - but I'll get there. I needed to regain faith in myself, and I think I did it tonight on the treadmill.

I set out to do 3 miles and it went well. I had to slow down and back off my initial pace but once I slowed it down (and keep in mind, I'm already slow, so slower than slow is...really slow) I felt really good. I was able to speed it up once I got my stride back and ran the 2nd and 3rd miles faster than the first, which made me HAPPY.

After my run I took Mugsy to the dog park where he spent some more time rolling in the baby pools (if you haven't seen him do that yet, here is a link) and I caught up with my friend Patrick. After THAT I came back and ordered an entire pizza for myself for my dinner, which was delicious. I only ate 3 pieces (cough so far cough) but I eagerly anticipate eating the remaining slices.

Finally - I'm going to cut my hair tomorrow. I'm thinking of making my bangs more like Zooey Deschanel's:

Because then when I make the above face/hand gesture it will look more natural. And I'm thinking I'll take 3 or 4 inches off the rest of my hair - it's just TOO HOT to have hair this long.

Remember? Too hot for life, so too hot for hair.

Dear 9, you're the WORST.

I ran 9 miles yesterday. Well, ran is a relative term, I suppose. I ran/walked 9 miles. The heat was such in Baltimore (around 90* with 40% humidity when I started, even at 6:20 pm) that I had to stop frequently to walk/drink water so that I wouldn't overheat. And yet I still found that I wasn't sweating about 3.5 miles into the run - which is not a good sign. So I walked more, drank more water, and found some shade until I could feel myself cooling off and feel the sweat coming back. I really didn't want to get sick so I was being extra careful.

I had a few desperate moments during this run. The heat combined with the humidity combined with the fact that I was running further than I have in over...jeez, 8 months? It wasn't pretty. Then I misjudged a tree branch and slammed my head into it...uncool. I then discovered a large bump on my head during my post-run shower last night. Doubly uncool. So I definitely had a few of those "OhMyGodWhatAmIDoingWhyDidIThinkICouldRunAMarathonIShouldStopRunningImmediately!" moments. And when they happened, I walked, and I said to myself "You're just panicking. You'll feel better as soon as your heart rate comes back down. So stop freaking out." And I reminded myself that those moments are the REASON you do long runs during your training - because you need to get the freakout moments out of the way during the months you're training so that you DO NOT have them on the race course (or, if you do, you're well aware of how you should self-soothe and keep on truckin').

I ate 4 of these:

Clif Shot Bloks are basically candy that you get to eat while running to make the fact that you're running 9 miles in 90* heat more bearable. Seriously - tropical punch flavor? LOVE YOU. Anyway, they have caffeine and other glorious things that make you feel better pretty quickly after ingesting them while running.

I also bought one of these and wore it yesterday for the first time:

My comments:

• It was very convenient to be able to put my keys, ID, cash (any number of reasons I could have needed that...bottle of water from hobo on the street, cab ride home when I spontaneously quit running), and Shot Bloks in the little pocket on the back.
• The water bottles bounce around A LOT when they are full. Less so after you've had a few sips.
• You need to sip evenly from the two bottles otherwise it will start twisting around your body.
• Maybe - just MAYBE - you should look at the fact that these things have SIZES before you buy yours, and not just grab the only pink one on display and gleefully run to the cash register with it. That's how I ended up with a size Large, when I probably needed a Small (I'm not trying to brag, it's just that with the incorrect size, the velcro doesn't overlap as much as it should, meaning a less secure fit and more bouncing. The last thing I need is more bouncing).

Other things:

I ran in 3" compression shorts last night. If you don't know what these are, they're basically like those little bun-huggers that volleyball players wear. I was trying to wear as little clothing as possible again, in order to not overheat, but I'm pretty sure it's a bit of a faux pas to run in 3" compression shorts. I'm pretty sure people were looking at me and saying "Is that girl even wearing pants?" but maybe they were saying "We should get her a bottle of water." Whatever, I do what I want.

People say that to get used to running in the heat you should RUN IN THE HEAT. And that your body will adjust over time. They're all lying. It's not working.

I had bought dinner for myself at Whole Foods earlier in the day but when I got home, even the idea of BOILING WATER was too much for me (I was going to make black bean/goat cheese ravioli, yum) so I microwaved my leftover mac & cheese from Saturday night's dinner. And it made me sick. But I am still blaming the heat for my getting sick. Mac & cheese never does anything wrong.

The thing is - what I really learned last night is - that I need to cut the shit. I've been messing around with this training. I haven't been cross training, I haven't been stretching like I should, I haven't been taking my nutrition all that seriously. And maybe you can get away with that bullshit when you're training for a half, but you can't when you're training for a full. My longest-mileage week when training for a half was 20 miles -- two 5 mile runs during the week and one 10 mile run on the weekend - and that was MONTHS into training (two weeks prior to race day). This past week I ran 16 miles - during week 3 of marathon training. I was supposed to run 19 but I skipped one of my runs because I think I need to cut down to 3 runs/week instead of 4. This week, there are 21 miles on the schedule. Passing my highest mileage week ever - only 4 weeks into this training schedule.

Shit's about to get real.

Right back at ya, humidity.

I felt like this this morning:

I wanted to feel like this:

but unfortunately I did not. I don't usually compare myself to Homer Simpson but seriously. I felt terrible this morning.

I went out at 7 am to run with my friend Brigid. She ran the 0.5 miles from her apartment to mine and picked me up, and then we ran 3 miles together and I dropped her back off at her doorstep and plodded home. And I mean plodded. I think I ran about 15 steps of the last mile and walked the remainder (which was 1 mile minus 15 steps). Normally if I haven't made it to my mile mark by the time I get home, I run up and down the block in front of my building (which doesn't look strange at all) until I hit the mile mark and then I go inside. Today I was so terribly wiped out that I just threw in the towel and got in the elevator and went upstairs.

I blame the humidity (and the fact that I haven't run in months). Trying to run in the humidity is like holding a damp paper towel over your mouth while you're running and trying to breathe through it. It's not a pleasant experience and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

So anyway I felt like crap.

I need to research how to adjust to running in the humidity. Because it is the Suck.

And I think I'm going to cut my running to 3 days a week (two midweek shorter runs and one weekend longer run) because my body is NOT PLEASED with running 2 days in a row no matter what the situation.

I'm surprised anyone is still reading this.

OK LOVE YOU BYE.

One foot in front of the other

I ran tonight. Well...I...covered the distance required by my training plan on my feet through a combination of running and walking. More running than walking though! And not too terribly slowly! I was trying not to go out too hard because I'm running with my friend Brigid tomorrow morning before work (it's not ideal to do two runs within about 12 hours of each other but I'm desperate for some company and Brigid is kind enough to run with me).

So anyway it was super hot outside but I really wanted to use my Garmin so I ran outside in the heat - it wasn't terrible - it was a little cooler because I didn't start my run until 7 or so. I sweat a lot. In general and during this run.

I don't really have anything else interesting to say.

So...bye.

OH EXCEPT I HAD CHOCOLATE MILK WHEN I GOT HOME AND IT WAS FABULOUS.

OK bye again.

You're not really reading this, are you?

I've gotta say, people. For once, I gave you free license to berate me (with the condition that I didn't post regularly about my running)...and I've been silent about running for almost a week now...and no angry texts? No e-mails? No blog comments saying "Where the eff are you and I know the answer is on your couch because you're a lazy sack of potatoes!"

Hmmmm. I may need to find meaner friends.

Anyway, I was supposed to run 15 miles during week 2 of marathon training...I ran 8. Oops.

I just started typing the words "In my defense" and then deleted them because all the reasons were stupid. I could have gotten the runs in. I just didn't. I chose to hang out with friends, eat food, drink beer, and rest instead. I'm ok with my decision. I just hope my body is ok with my decision when I ask it to run 9 miles this Sunday.

So anyway I did my long run on Sunday evening. I had to do it indoors on the treadmill because it was too effing hot outside to even THINK about running. Like, you think about running, you start sweating. No good. So I ran it on the treadmill, and I knew that I was going to have a hard time completing the run from a mental perspective (I felt pretty fresh physically given the 4 "rest days" I took) so I told myself that I could run 1 mile, walk 1 minute, and repeat until I hit 5 miles. It really helped break up the run into smaller, more manageable chunks.

I rested again yesterday and today I'm planning on conquering my 3 mile run after work...on the treadmill again because it's once again, too hot in Baltimore. I think the forecast should just say that - "Today: Too hot." Too hot for what, you ask?

LIFE.

Anyway. I hope that as the race grows nearer (3 months 11 days from today), I will be able to move my long runs outside because - while I am not certain of much when it comes to running - I am certain that my body will not be able to handle 26.2 outdoors without having trained on similar surfaces.

Also, in other news, yesterday Jeremy tried to prove to me that Diet Pepsi is better than Diet Coke. I told him that I was sorry he was so terribly misinformed. We decided to do a blind taste test (note to reader, when I first wrote that I typed testes and then giggled to myself) in my apartment using a can of Diet Pepsi and a can of Diet Coke. The idiot tried to fool me by giving me Diet Pepsi twice in a row but my sophisticated palette knew exactly what he was up to.

Diet Coke reigns supreme. Forever.

Check out Jeremy's commercials!

Thought you guys might be interested to see Jeremy's latest commercials for Under Armour!

Here is the 60 second version:

http://vimeo.com/25731276

and here's the 30 second version:

http://vimeo.com/25731457

I'd embed them but...I don't know how (since they're from Vimeo and not YouTube).

ok enjoy BYEEE!

Will Run For Chipwiches

Yesssssssss, I did my run last night. Yesssssssss, it blew.

I'm not sure if I was just not sufficiently recovered from my run on Sunday, or if the heat in Baltimore yesterday just zapped me (don't worry, I came to my senses and didn't try to run outside, I ran inside on the treadmill last night), but whatever it was, my run blew last night. I thought that after my 7 miles on Sunday, the 3 miles I had to do yesterday were going to be a piece of cake - not so much. My legs felt like lead as soon as I started the run. I thought I'd feel better as I ran further, sometimes it just takes me a mile or so to warm up (which is weird when you're only doing 3, but whatevs). Again...not so much. I got a mile in and then decided that it was imperative that I walk. So I walked for a minute or so. Then I started running again. The last two miles were a combination of running, sprinting, and walking. I thought about stopping multiple times, but I didn't (gold star, please). I probably

walked 2 minutes out of the 2nd mile, and 1 minute out of the last mile, but when I was running, I was running really quickly (I'm not sure if I'm trying to convince myself or you here, or if it really matters either way).

So, what did I learn:

1. Go out slowly after your long runs, even if you've rested the day before. It's not going to be pleasant. I hope this improves with time.
2. Stretch more. Stretch better.
3. Right quad still annoying me. Still not sure why.
4. Walking is not failing.

After my run, I went to dinner with some friends and treated myself to this:

Well hello, Mr. Beer! Aren't you JAUNTY? You're cold and you have carbs, I like you.

And some of this:

Because YES.

And then today Jeremy brought me one of these:

(NOTE: That is not my hand. Or my Chipwich. I downloaded that off the interwebs) which makes him awesome. It was delicious and by the end of it there was ice cream on my hands, my desk, my dress, and my arm. If you're going to eat it, enjoy it, don't be PRETTY about it.

So what else did I learn?

I'm one of those runners who thinks that when you run, you get to eat whatever you want without gaining weight. This is not in fact the case for two reasons:

1. Your calorie burn still has to outweigh (pun intended) your calorie intake or you will gain weight. That said, generally, you burn about 100 calories per mile run, so last week I burned an additional 1600 calories over the course of the week, this week I'll hopefully burn an additional 1500 calories, etc. Now, do I think I'm eating that many more calories (and then some, to cause me to gain weight, which I have)? No - but if I keep it up, it might get that way. In reality I think the TUB OF HOUSE DRESSING I ate while in Charlottesville a few weeks ago is just catching up to me (it was worth it).
2. You cannot eat whatever you want because it still needs to fuel you on your runs. You eat crap, you'll feel like crap. And you'll feel even more like crap because you're pushing your body to the limit and asking it to perform athletically.

I do not like either of the above lessons, but I'm forced to live with them if I want to accomplish my goal of running a marathon.

Am I going to run tonight, you ask? NO! Again, for two reasons:

1. Based on my performance last night, I think I need a little more time to recover, so I'll run on Friday after my half-day of work.
2. I GET TO SEE THIS PERSON TONIGHT!I just hope I won't stand that way or make that face...ever again. So excited to see you Smolls!

A couple of delicious recipes

I mentioned in a recent post that I'm in a book club. The last time we had book club, Beth (Walk, for Paul Soper's amusement) hosted and laid out a delicious spread for all of us, including the two below dishes. They were so great that we pestered her until she sent us the recipes, which I am including below. I highly recommend that you try them!

Chinese Chicken Salad

Ingredients:

Salad:

2 pkgs chicken ramen noodles, crushed

1 c sliced almonds

1 bunch green onions, chopped

2 bags shredded cabbage (or cole slaw mix w/o dressing)

2 c cooked chicken, diced

1/2 stick butter

Dressing:

6 tbls sugar

2 tbls white vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

Dash of dry mustard

1 tsp garlic powder

1 c vegetable/canola oil

Brown noodles and nuts in butter until golden brown. Include 1 seasoning packet from ramen. Add onions and saute. Allow to cool.

Add remaining ingredients and mix with dressing.

This second recipe reminded me of Molly Laufer, mostly because I think it's kind of a combination between a (sweet) cheese ball and that cookie dough dip she told me about one time:

Kahlua Dip

Ingredients:

1 tub Cool Whip (8 oz)

1 bar of cream cheese, softened (8 oz)

1/3 c Kahlua

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 bag of mini chocolate chips

Vanilla wafers

Mix together first four ingredients thoroughly, then add chocolate chips and stir to distribute evenly. Chill. Serve with vanilla wafers (or animal crackers, pretzels, use your fingers, whatever you think would be delicious!)

Lucky 7

I successfully completed my first long training run for the marathon!

Woo-hoo!

Thanks to Molly Laufer for checking in on me and asking how it had gone. I waited until Sunday evening to attempt this run because the weather forecast indicated that the weather would be most conducive to running during this time.

Luckily I received my Garmin 305 in the mail yesterday afternoon and was able to fiddle around with it and figure out how to use it before the run today. Also luckily, Jeremy agreed to do part of the run with me. I ran the 2 miles to his house and then he came out with me for the next 3.5 miles. I dropped him back at his house and completed the last 1.5 miles back to my apartment alone (I had sort of run out of my way to get to his house on the way there in order to extend the distance). Having Jeremy with me for those middle miles was a HUGE help. It distracted me from the distance that I was facing and allowed me to break the run into smaller segments.

Having the Garmin really opened my eyes to how inconsistently I run! My pace was ALL OVER THE PLACE! Especially the first two miles prior to picking Jeremy up - I went out way too fast. I kept checking the watch and noticing that I was going too quickly but I had a hard time slowing down consistently. Don't worry - the miles eventually slowed me down and I finished the run just about on pace. The middle miles I ran with Jeremy were faster than I wanted them to be but he was slowing himself down for me so I was trying to keep up and meet him in the middle pace-wise. We stopped running to walk a few times. I had the Garmin set to automatically pause every time I STOPPED, but I think from now on I'll have it stop when I drop below a certain pace (and it's clear that I'm walking i/o running) because the setting it was on this time meant that my average pace per mile was 11:44, which I know is just significantly slowed down due to the segments that we walked.

I'm not really good at reading the Garmin information that was loaded onto my computer yet...but I'm hoping that over time I can learn to understand it better.

When I got home I was starving - it was about 8 pm - and I still needed to go to the grocery store to shop for dinner ingredients. I walked Mugsy, ran over to Whole Foods (it's 2 blocks away, love), and got some ingredients.

When I got back from WF I threw back a glass of chocolate milk (the fact that this is an awesome recovery drink is a huge bonus in my book) and showered quickly before making dinner. This is what I ate:

I know, I know. It looks DELICIOUS, right? Not at all, looks like vomit. Anyway, it's 1 whole tomato, 1/2 an avocado, about a cup of plain quinoa (thanks to the Whole Foods salad bar I didn't have to cook it myself which is the Yay), a few pieces of marinated mozzarella, and I'd guess 1/2 cup of plain chickpeas. I think it was full of protein and good fats (and some bad fats, whatevs), and the tomato would help re-hydrate me after my long run. I felt good eating it, at least! But lesson TOTALLY learned - in the future, make sure you've planned for dinner before heading out on your long run! In case there was any doubt - my motivation to train for this marathon comes 50% from the fact that I will be able to eat WAY MORE. I LOVE FOOD.

FOOD.

LOVE.

OK so I'm totally being verbose right now, maybe it's a post-run high, but all in all:

• I'm totally proud that I finished 7 miles tonight and did it without feeling bad at all during the run
• Having Jeremy with me for half of the run was a HUGE HELP and I hope I can bribe him to continue running with me
• Chocolate milk is The Awesome
• I need to hydrate better next time
• My right quad is The Pissed. I need to roll/ice it now.
• Garmin = also The Awesome

OK BYE THANKS FOR READING! :-D

Yeahhhhh!

I don't normally blog on the weekends but I just wanted to check in and let you know that I did my training run last night (well, yesterday afternoon prior to going out and getting le drunk...running is really good for drinking efficiency because you're already dehydrated and you get drunker faster) and it went really well! Yes, it was only 3 miles, it wasn't a long run, but it was a successful run, and that's all that matters in my opinion! :) So I'm feeling good. My Garmin should arrive in the mail today and I'm looking forward to using it when I attempt my 7 mile first-long-run tomorrow :) Wish me luck!

Lots of smiley faces in this post. Hmmm.

Well, that was the suck.

Did I do my run yesterday, you ask? I mean, I tried. Which I think counts for something. Right? I think you technically only "fail" at doing a training run when you don't even try to do it. I think given that I put my shoes on, trotted out the door, and ran a mile before I started walking (and then continued to run/walk the rest of the 3 miles fearing death if I tried to continue running the whole way)...I mean, I feel like that's something. A for effort, right?

This is where I was running:

Yes, that is what you get if you Google Image search "Surface of the Sun." It was 95* in Baltimore yesterday at 5 pm, but I decided, brilliant road warrior that I am, that I was going to tough it out. I was sufficiently hydrated, right? So my body would cool itself down with sweat, right?

I'm not entirely sure why this occasionally happens (maybe some of my running buddies can help explain) but my body started sweating...and then stopped. I think it was like "Well, this is clearly a losing battle so I'm just going to sit this one out and let you think about what you've done."

Why, body? I thought we were in this together.

Really, this is where I was running:

This is Fort McHenry which I'm sure is significant for many a historical and cool reason but really all I care about is the nice asphalt path along the water and the gorgeous views of the harbor it provides. Granted, yesterday I couldn't have cared less about either of those things because I was just thinking "don't die don't die don't die," but on most days it's a pretty nice view. One thing I should have thought about: not many trees along the path to provide me with any shade at all.

You know, maybe my body didn't stop sweating. Maybe it was just so hot that when I did sweat, it evaporated immediately. Uncool.

So anyway...it wasn't great. But not all of my training runs over the next few months are going to be great. I just. Want. To complete. The race.

In other news, I've started using Dove bar soap as my hand soap in my bathroom and suddenly my cuticles aren't dry and cracking anymore. Imagine that. Expensive, annoying cuticle creams be damned, Dove will do the job!

Don't worry, this won't last.

By "this" I mean the posting about running, not the actual running. I hope. Maybe both.

I did my first official training run last night on the treadmill at my apartment building. Highlights:

1. My french braid coming undone around 1.5 miles in and leaving me running with my hair loose like the female version of Fabio. I paused the treadmill and rectified that situation quite quickly.
2. Girl who got on the treadmill next to me when I had about 1 mile left who I'm pretty sure was trying to race me, although that may have just been the mid-run paranoia talking (don't act like you don't know about the mid-run paranoia).
3. My friend Katie calling to say she was on her way to pick me up for book club when I was about 0.2 miles away from the end of the run, and me answering the phone and panting into it with no explanation for her as to why I was breathing so heavily (that is, until I got into her car sweating (more than usual)).
4. Finishing!

Here's the thing people. This run was only 3 miles long and it made me SAD. Because when I finished, all I could think was "Only 23.2 miles to go! Yeah...I'm gonna take a nap."

Instead of taking a nap I went to book club, which was fun. We read Room by Emma Donahue (which I have yet to review on my book blog, sorry). I had a great time at book club (we had a picnic outdoors and I'm pretty sure I ate enough food for all the rest of the girls in the club, whatever, post-run metabolism high), but I did not have a great time reading Room. It's super depressing and slightly perverse.

So. Caveat emptor on the whole Room thing. But yeah, please keep pestering me about my runs.

New girl crush

So I e-mailed my friend Molly (I'd link to her blog but she HASN'T UPDATED IN A YEAR so I have decided not to in a passive-aggressive (heavy on the aggressive) attempt to get her to update it or start a new blog) earlier today asking for some of the blogs she read while training for the marathon she recently completed.

She sent me quite a few suggestions but I can already tell that my favorite is going to be Running off the Reese's. The author is awesome. Super snarky and hilarious.

Two of my favorite discoveries from her blog so far:

because I, like her, am the Good Luck Chuck of women.

And:

because, yes. Amazing. I don't care if you're a runner, watch the video. It's hilarious.

Also, I'm officially starting my training for the Baltimore Marathon today. It's in October. 10/16/2011 to be exact. I figured that since I get free registration through working for Under Armour, I could use the money I saved (plus other money that I have no reason to spend but I'm trying to rationalize here leave me alone) to buy a Garmin 305 and a hot pink iPod nano to keep me company on my long. Long. Long. Lonely runs.

Here we go!

Please make sure to ask me every time you talk to me from now on how my marathon training is going so that I am shamed into actually doing my runs. And after I answer you say "are you lying?"

Thanks.

Apparently I do this now

See mah puppeh on the interwebs.

He is the cute.

Huh.

Just a random thought - not much time to flesh this one out - but I'm wondering...

Are we only as mature as consequences demand in life? Is growing up a process of adapting to ones surroundings and becoming more mature in order to most likely guarantee success? Or is it a natural progression that results in the ability to confront more difficult situations and circumstances in life?

Does life whip us into shape or do we take on bigger challenges when we're stronger? Or both?

I'll be thinking about this for a while.

Something Borrowed

Last night I went on a date with my friend Karen. We ate mexican food and saw a movie. Really, what better way is there to spend a night than eating mexican food and watching movies?

I've really been wanting to see Bridesmaids but I had just leant Karen the book Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin, so I felt it was appropriate that we see that instead. I never reviewed that book on my book blog because I read it before I started the book blog - but the short and sweet of it is that it's a great vacation/beach read. Not going to change your life but you will finish it very quickly, it's quite interesting.

I had heard the movie was terrible so I didn't have high hopes. I needed to see something mindless. I'm not sure if it was my low expectations that made the movie good, but it was good. So if you're looking for something to see and you have already seen Bridesmaids (I would have chosen that first if not for my friend having just finished the book), give Something Borrowed a chance.

Also, make sure you look out for the Emily Giffin cameo in the movie - she's sitting next to Marcus and Rachel in Central Park reading the sequel to Something Borrowed, called Something Blue (also worth reading). Thought that was a cute nod. Quite a quick shot though so don't blink or you'll miss her!

Are you there, Wufus? It's me, Bridget.

I love me some Rufus Wainwright, and I think you should too. Applicable lyrics today:

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

"cigarettes and chocolate milk
these are just a couple of my cravings
everything it seems i like's a little bit stronger
a little bit thicker
a little bit harmful for me

if i should buy jellybeans
have to eat them all in just one sitting
everything it seems i like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me

and then there's those other things
which for several reasons we won't mention
everything about them is a little bit stranger
a little bit harder
a little bit deadly

it isn't very smart
tends to make one part so broken-hearted

sitting here remembering me
always been a shoe made for the city
go ahead, accuse me of just singing about places
with scrappy boys faces
have general run of the town
playing with prodigal songs
takes a lot of sentimental valiums
can't expect the world to be your raggedy andy
while running on empty
you little old doll with a frown

you got to keep in the game
maintaining mystique while facing forward
i suggest a reading of 'a lesson in tightropes'
or 'surfing your high hopes' or 'adios kansas'

it isn't very smart
tends to make one part so broken-hearted

still there's not a show on my back
holes or a friendly intervention
i'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit irish
a little bit tower of pisa whenever i see you
so please be kind if i'm a mess
cigarettes and chocolate milk"

And yes I'm using my blog as my new emo away message vehicle. YOU LIKE IT.

Another reason Grey's Anatomy is THE BEST.

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then I fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it? What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then...it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever," Meredith Grey

Ladies and Gentlemen

Do you guys remember this? It's worth revisiting.

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen) by Baz Lurhmann:

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99,
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your

choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…"

to my friends - thank you for working hard with me to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle. you're the best. remember that, because it's a compliment.

deep thoughts.com/young musings.

When I was in elementary school, I thought that when I was in high school I'd be driving a BMW convertible (I was an asshole in elementary school...just ask Lizzy).

When I was in high school, I thought that when I was in college I'd meet my future husband and I'd figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

When I was in college, I thought that after I graduated I'd love my first job, but I'd only be there for about two years before I'd move on. Where would I move on to? I figured by that point I'd DEFINITELY have met my future husband and we'd decide together where we'd go.

I was wrong.

About everything.

Well, except the BMW convertible, but it was about 10 years later than I thought it would be ;-)

Never have I felt like I've been headed down the wrong path in my life in general. In my professional life? Yes, for sure. I still think I'm on the right path, but maybe the space between milestones is just longer than I originally thought. Maybe the milestones are in a different order. You know what they say - and by they I mean John Lennon - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I'm not sure where I'm going with this - and by this I mean both this blog post and life in general. Is planning futile? Is it true that if you want to make God laugh you should tell him about your plans? Is it better to just let go and let life happen to you? How do you strike the right balance? To make sure that you're headed in the right direction but you're not marching forward so rigidly that you totally lose it if you get blown off path? That you're not focusing so intently on the goal that you don't see what you pass along the way?

No seriously, I'm asking you for answers here.

Is anything absolute? When I was younger I had all these thoughts of "I am this way, I am that way, I would do this, I would never do that." Some things hold true, others don't. If you define yourself by a list of things and one by one those things change...when do you yourself change?

I'm 27 now and maybe I don't know quite as much about who I am as I thought I did, but I guess I know more about who I'm not.

Quotes from The Magicians by Lev Grossman

This time with feeling. I reread The Magicians and thought you might like to see some of my favorite quotes so that maybe you'd want to read it too.

"He let himself unclench a little. Just slightly, he stopped bracing for the blow from above, and for the first time he seriously considered the idea that it might not come at all," p41

"His crush went from exciting to depressing, as if he'd gone from the first blush of infatuation to the terminal nostalgia of a former lover without even the temporary relief of an actual relationship in between" p64

"It occurred to him, long after it should have, that he wasn't the only person here who had problems and felt like an outsider. Alice wasn't just the competition, someone whose only purpose in life was to succeed and by doing so subtract from his happiness. She was a person with her own hopes and feelings and history and nightmares. In her own way she was as lost as he was," p67

"When he saw Julia, he searched himself for the old love he used to feel for her. It wasn't gone, but it was a dull, distant ache, still there but healed over - just the shrapnel they couldn't remove," p72

"The entire time he'd been at Brakebills, through First Year, the exams, the whole disaster with Penny, right up until the night he joined the Physical Kids, Quentin had been holding his breath without knowing it. He realized only now that he'd been waiting for Brakebills to vanish around him like a daydream. Even aside from the many and varied laws of thermodynamics that were violated there on a regular basis, it was just too good to be true. It was like Fillory that way. Fillory never lasted forever. Ember and Umber promptly kicked the Chatwins out at the end of every book. Deep down Quentin felt like a tourist who at the end of the day would be herded back onto some dirty, lumbering, snorting tour bus - with ripped vinyl seats and overhead TVs and a stinking toilet - and shipped home, clutching a tacky souvenir postcard and watching as the towers and hedges and peaks and gables of Brakebills dwindled in the rearview mirror. But it hadn't happened. And now he understood. he really got, that it wasn't going to happen. He'd wasted so much time thinking, It's all a dream, and It should have been somebody else, and Nothing lasts forever. It was time he started acting like who he was: a nineteen year old student at a secret college for real, actual magic," p106

"Janet was about as annoying as a person could be and still be your friend, but Quentin was never bored around her. She was passionately loyal, and if she was obnoxious it was only because she was so deeply tender-hearted. It made her easily wounded, and when she was wounded she lashed out. She tortured everybody around her, but only because she was more tortured than anyone," p108

"You just had to get some idea of what matters and what doesn't, and how much, and try not to be scared of the stuff that doesn't. Put it in perspective. Something like that. Or otherwise what was the point? He didn't know if he could explain it to Josh. But maybe he could show him," p133

"It was an amazing outpouring of collective joy. Quentin had forgotten he was capable of that emotion, the way a lost spelunker feels like there was never such a thing as sunlight, that it was just a cruel fiction," p154

"What was he going to do? What exactly? Every ambition he'd ever had in his life had been realized the day he was admitted to Brakebills, and he was struggling to formulate a new one with any kind of practical specificity," p210

"I got my heart's desire, he thought, and there my troubles began," p220

"She always kept a cool head in difficult moments, maybe because she tended to be so out of control so much of the rest of the time," p233

"'What are you, a child? You got confused? Why didn't you just end it, Quentin? You obviously lost interest a long time ago. You really are a child, aren't you? You're obviously not enough of a man to have a real relationship. You're not even enough of a man to end a real relationship. Do I have to do absolutely everything for you? Or you know what it is? You hate yourself so much, you'll hurt anybody who loves you. That's it, isn't it? Just to get even with them for loving you. I never saw that before now.'" p254

Cheers

jamming to this currently.

"Life's too short to be sitting around miserable

People gonna talk whether you doing bad or good, yeah..."

"Oh, let the Jameson* sink in

I drink to that, yeah yeah

Don't let the bastards get you down

Turn it around with another round"

*I prefer Jack myself but I'll let it go.

Quotes from Blessings by Anna Quindlen

"That stayed with her for years, that sketch drawn in a few simple sentences, that idea of a parallel life that might have been hers," p66

"'Stalking,' she said. 'If you want delphiniums you must keep them stalked.' There were still some things of which she was absolutely certain." p130

"At each light he told her to make a wish. A pony. A pink bicycle. A spaniel puppy. 'That's too many wishes,' Lydia had called across the darkening oval at the center of the string of lights, and her father had called back, 'Ah, Lyds, my love, don't ever say that.'" p148

"She realized that lying was easier than telling the truth because it had such nice smooth edges, not jagged with impossibility and inconvenience the way the truth so often was." p151

"'Mother, that happened almost fifty years ago. It's a little late for you to become exercised about it.' She was right, of course. What a soft patina the passage of time gave to everything, at least once one learned to live in the present." p162

Quotes from The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

"And perhaps we are responsible even for the love we feel for our parents. I envied other students back then who had dissociated themselves from their parents and thus from the entire generation of perpetrators, voyeurs, and the willfully blind, accommodators and acceptors, thereby overcoming perhaps not their shame, but at least their suffering because of the shame. But what gave rise to the swaggering self-righteousness I so often encountered among these students? How could one feel guilt and shame, and at the same time parade one's self-righteousness? Was their dissociation of themselves from their parents mere rhetoric: sounds and noise that were supposed to drown out the fact that their love for their parents made them irrevocably complicit in their crimes?" p171

"I decided to write the story of me and Hanna. Since then I've done it many times in my head, each time a little differently, each time with new images, and new strands of action and thought. Thus there are many different stories in addition to the one I have written. The guarantee that the written one is the right one lies in the fact that I wrote it and not the other versions. The written version wanted to be written, the many others did not." p217

Remember that time I had a blog?

Me neither.

Have you listened to "Me & Mrs. Jones" by Michael Buble (Austin...you know how I just said that in my head) lately?

If not, you should.

Really, do it now:

Feeling some Jason Mraz this afternoon

Check these two out:

1) Running live at Java Joe's

2) After an Afternoon live at Java Joe's

Strike that, reverse it

So after Sirius Black I moved on to Padfoot (Paddy for short) and then last night I think I arrived at the final name...I think this pup is meant to be called Mugsy Bones.

What do you think??

I am a bad blogger

But I finally have news worth blogging about...

I adopted a puppy last week! Long story (will post more later + more pictures) but I think I am going to call him Sirius Black. He's about 5 months old.

Woof!

more sick music.

yeah that's right, i said sick and i wasn't being ironic.

you can listen to this while you train for this.

disney princess half marathon. february 2011. DO IT.

or just listen to the music and then come and cheer us on (and by us i only mean me so far, but i'm trying to convince noodle and the mollys, and whoever else will let me convince them, i just figured i'd start with the usual half marathon suspects. i just accidentally typed shuspects and it made me giggle because i thought of "can i have a schmample?").

so who else is coming?

**UPDATED** - paul sent me the music link. paul always sends me the music links. if there is ever a reference to anything on my blog that is pop culture related, it likely came from paul.

that said, paul, you should have been so excited that i'm trying to run a disney race that you would overlook that i missed your h/t.