"More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to be close to someone. More than anything, all I have ever wanted is to feel as if I wasn't alone. I have tried many times, tried to kill my loneliness with a girl or a woman, and it was never right. We would be together and be close to each other, but no matter how close we were, I still felt alone. They felt that lonliness and it made them want to get closer. When they tried, I either ran or did someting to destroy what we felt for each other. I can run fast when I want to run fast, and I've always been good at destroying things. Not one of them would be willing to speak to me today.
The last one was the only one who made me feel the way I always wanted to feel. She made me feel better than I have ever felt, better than I imagined I could feel, and it scared me, scared me to the point of paralysis. When she offered herself to me, I failed. That failure drove me to destruction. I destroyed her, destroyed me, destroyed the two of us together. I destroyed the hope of a future. She will not speak my name now, nor will she aknowledge my existence. I don't blame her."
p80, James Frey, A Million Little Pieces.
Sunday, January 01, 2006
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Some quotes from a good book
"You will say goodbye for all the right reasons. You're tired of living in wait for his apocalypse. You have your own fight on your hands, and though it's no bigger or more noble than his, it will require all of your energy. It's you who has to hold on to the earth. You have to tighten your grip -- which means letting go of him."
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"You don't see him again. Sometimes you worry that he loved you better than any man ever has or will l- even if it had nothing to do with you. Even now, he is every blue blazer getting into a cab, every runner along the river, every motorcycle coming and going."
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"I say that we met after college in New York, and that over the years we had a succession of boyfriends but weren't so happy with any of them. We were always asking each other, 'Is this all we can expect?'
'Then,' I say, 'there was our sea-horse period, when we were told that we didn't need mates; we were supposed to make ourselves happy just bobbing around in careers. Finally, Sophie met Max. He gets how funny and generous and wholehearted she is. He understands what a big person she is, and yet he doesn't want to crush her. Max is the man Sophie didn't know if she could hope for.'"
A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing, Melissa Bank
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"You don't see him again. Sometimes you worry that he loved you better than any man ever has or will l- even if it had nothing to do with you. Even now, he is every blue blazer getting into a cab, every runner along the river, every motorcycle coming and going."
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"I say that we met after college in New York, and that over the years we had a succession of boyfriends but weren't so happy with any of them. We were always asking each other, 'Is this all we can expect?'
'Then,' I say, 'there was our sea-horse period, when we were told that we didn't need mates; we were supposed to make ourselves happy just bobbing around in careers. Finally, Sophie met Max. He gets how funny and generous and wholehearted she is. He understands what a big person she is, and yet he doesn't want to crush her. Max is the man Sophie didn't know if she could hope for.'"
A Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing, Melissa Bank
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