20 miles down, welcome to Tapertown.

I ran 20 miles yesterday.

I never thought I'd say (type?) that sentence.

There was a sponsored course training run starting a block and a half from our house at 7 am  which was perfect. They provided maps for people running 10, 16, and 20 miles, and you could then tailor the course to match exactly the distance you wanted to do. My training plan (which you all know I've been following so closely) called for 20, so I went with the longest distance. There were about 500 people who showed up for the training run, which was awesome because I didn't have to look at my map too many times because I could just follow the runners in front of me.

I was terrified before the run started - I thought I was going to get left behind and be the slowest runner on the course. I was definitely one of the slower runners on the course, but not the slowest, which made me feel better. I don't mean to make it sound like I am happy simply because there are other people who are slower than I am - it needs to be about me and my race, I don't need to be worried about other runners - but I guess I was just really scared that if I didn't have other people around me, I'd panic and turn around and go home. Being surrounded by other runners the whole time, especially other runners around my speed, really helped motivate me to keep going.

We ran on the course of the marathon (which is now less than 3 weeks away), so we started at the park near our house and ran north, essentially taking an extended tour of the Baltimore ghetto, then ran around Lake Montebello, over to Druid Hill Park (which is where the rapper Dru Hill got his name because he's from that area), back south around the harbor, over to UA's headquarters, then back through the harbor again and home.

Here are my splits by mile (disclaimer again, I am still slow):
1- 11:37
2- 10:58
3- 11:41
4- 11:58
5- 11:24
6- 12:39 (This was actually 1.1 miles, I forgot to press the lap button)
7- 11:05 (hence this one was 0.9 miles)
8- 12:19 (no excuse, this one was just slow)
9- 11:50
10- 11:29
11- 12:10
12- 11:22
13- 11:53
14- 11:24
15- 11:21
16- 11:32
17- 11:46
18- 11:30
19- 12:02
20- 11:31

There were a bunch of water stops on the course, and they also provided gels. This was a total lifesaver - I don't know if I could have made it through 20 miles without the support on the course. We even got cheers from random passerby! :)

So obviously my splits were all over the place - but I was happy that most of them stayed between 11:30 and 12:00 which is kind of where my goal is settling right now. A lot of times when I looked down at my watch during the run, my splits were too low - I was running faster than I meant to and was afraid I was going to burn out - so I had to keep slowing myself down. I didn't stop to walk at any point, but in the second half of the run we had to stop very often at stoplights, intersections, etc, so that really slowed things down.

My thoughts on the run:

• It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it was going to be. 
• My knees hurt a lot more than they have in the past, along with the ball of my right foot. This would usually indicate to me that I need new shoes, but the shoes I was running in are not old enough to indicate that I need new ones (they were purchased within the last 6 months and I know I have not run 500 miles in them). Also, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to break in new shoes sufficiently in the next 3 weeks while I'm tapering in order for them to be ready for the marathon. 
• I kept drinking even when I wasn't thirsty to try to stay hydrated - and I hydrated out of control on Friday - and I felt good, but I still wasn't sweating as much as I should have been. Often I felt my face caked with salt and I'd have to splash water in my face to wash it off. I'm not sure why I wasn't sweating more - any ideas, friends? 
• I ate an entire pack of Shot Bloks along with 1 pack of Gu and 1 "PowerBar Gel" that was provided on the course - notes on these: Gu in "Chocolate Outrage" flavor tastes EXACTLY LIKE GOOEY BROWNIE. The texture is even pretty much the same. I will be buying 40 of these. The PowerBar Gel in Vanilla tastes like lemon ass. And I hate it. But I needed calories, I had to eat it. It also doesn't have caffeine and I have decided that I need my calorie sources to have caffeine to really get me going. 
• Yesterday after the run blew. I got some Chipotle and put on comfy clothes and basically laid either on the couch or in bed for the rest of the day. I feel much better today but my legs are fatiguing easily as I walk up and down the stairs in the house. 

So that's all I've got for now. I am just so relieved that I made it through the 20 mile run. It's all Tapertown from here! That was the longest run I will do in my training - everything else should be easier for the next 3 weeks until the race (fingers crossed). This run was just really important for me mentally - understanding that I can actually do this. And I think the additional adrenaline that will come on race day will help me make it through those last 6.2 miles (Molly Laufer? Yes?). 

Ok. So here we go. 

Inspiration

I love Nicki Minaj. Do you listen to her music? I heart her. Lizzy, don't listen to her, you won't like it and you'll accuse me of assaulting your ears with my dirty dirty rap songs again.

Anyway, she has a song called "Moment 4 Life" which you may or may not have heard on the radio, but anyway, if you haven't, look it up on Spotify (if you're not on Spotify, GET ON SPOTIFY) and listen - because I've decided that it's my inspiration for this marathon because of the lines:

"I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, because in this moment I feel so alive"

and, even more so:

"I'm really tryin' to make it more than what it is, Because everybody dies but not everybody lives,"

That's kind of how I feel lately. Make some mistakes. Do stupid things. You only live once.

I mean, you know.

So I did that 3h 20m run not this past Saturday but the Saturday before. Then last Friday I spent the whole day moving, so when Saturday came around I was already sore and exhausted and I was like "Eff no, I will not be running for hours today."

Sunday Jeremy and I went to King's Dominion with his parents which was an awesome time. We rode almost all the roller coasters in the park. Some were having technical difficulties so we couldn't ride, which made me sad. There is one roller coaster there now called the Intimidator - the first hill is 305' in the air and you drop at an 85* angle, reaching speeds of up to 94 mph.

When you come out of the first drop you almost black out - no joke. Your vision starts to go. I don't quite understand how this is safe. As we were climbing the first hill I kept repeating "I don't understand why I thought this was a good idea."

Anyway, see the ridiculousness to the left.

So we spent hours at the park and then drove home, and let me tell you, I have never felt so old. I felt so beat up by the roller coasters and all the walking and the moving that by the end of the day on Sunday I was just absolutely exhausted.

I felt like all that physical activity made up for the fact that I didn't run (right?).

I've spent most of this week after work doing laundry, cooking (I'm totally domestic now), and taking care of the dogs. On Tuesday night Jeremy and I got to see the Capitals play in the Baltimore Hockey Classic - it was cool to get to go only a couple of miles to see an NHL game, but it was disappointing because the Caps lost and the 1st Mariner Bank arena is just a sad, sad venue. Super creepy and small and sad. I won't be itching to go there again anytime soon.

So anyway last night I decided it was time for a run - I got home, walked the dogs, then went out for a quick trot around the park. I ended up running a little bit over 3 miles, and it was tough. I usually loosen up after 1 mile so I kept telling myself it would be better after I finished the first mile, but the improvement wasn't really quite as good as I had hoped. I pushed myself to finish the rest of the run - and by pushed myself I mean just kept running - not quickly or anything.

So now I'm facing a 20 mile course run on Saturday. The great thing is that it's a "sponsored course run" meaning that hundreds of people who are participating in the race next month are meeting up at a park that is 1.5 blocks from our house, and we're all going to run the course together for however long we need to to complete our training run. They'll have water, gels, etc to give us, but I do still plan on bringing my fuel belt.

I'm really scared that I'm going to get left behind because I'm so slow. :-/

I'll report back.

Blogging with the enemy

My friend Molly (whose blog I would link to but she hasn't posted in over a year and hasn't started a new blog why molly why? why? WHY? I demand to know) was kind enough to send me the below quotes because she knew I could probably use a mental boost in these, my final weeks of training for the marathon.

And by training for the marathon, I mean stressing for the marathon.

So here you go (oh, and the enemy thing is because they're both Nike ads, and we all know that the boys in Portland are the enemies, yes? Yes, Protect This House I Will, etc. ):

"You pretended the snooze button didn't exist. You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept. While others ate their pancakes you had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes. You double-knotted. You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you. You ran 5Ks, 10Ks, 26.2 miles. Some days more, some days less. You rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow you. Sun tried to microwave you. Snow made you feel like a warrior. You cramped. You bonked. You paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. You made excuses to keep going. Questioned yourself. Played mind games. Put your heart before your knees. Listened to your breathing. Sweat sunscreen into your eyes. Worked on your farmer's tan. You hit the wall. You went through it. You decided to be man about it. You decided to be woman about it. Finished what you started. Proved what you were made of. Just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer. For 25 years, you ran. And we ran with you. How much farther will we go? As far as you will."


And #2:

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the nos become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them Yes."

But who's the chick and who's the duck?

When you sleep with two dogs, it's hard to really say when you first wake up in the morning. Do you remember that episode of Friends (I know you do, Lizzy) where they're playing the trivia game and this happens:

Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?

Rachel: Oooohh that’s interesting.

Joey: Hey, no way, that rooster’s family!

Rachel: Throw in the duck too!

Joey: What do you have against the duck?! He doesn’t make any noise!

Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.

That's how it is with the two dogs. Mugsy is a little jerk. He's 40+ lbs of muscle and lacks subtlety entirely. He spends his mornings rocketing on and off of the bed until I can't take it anymore and I get up to give him breakfast and walk him. Ronin is very very sweet, a wee beagle (wee-gle) of only 25 lbs. You can definitely tell which of them is standing on you at any given time. Even though Ronin tries really hard to be sweet and not get into trouble, Mugsy gets him all riled up, which means that I'm never entirely sure when I first wake up in the morning...I just know when I can't take it any longer and I get out of bed, resigned to the fact that it's a losing battle with those two. 

So that's how my day started yesterday, but it was good because it meant that I went outside early enough to realize how great the weather would be for my long run. I was all geared up and on the road by 10 am, but strangely my Garmin was flashing "low battery" signs at me as soon as I turned it on. But wait - didn't I charge it before I left for San Diego? I thought so. I left it plugged into the socket and assumed it was charged after a few hours - what I didn't realize is that no electricity was coming through said socket. 

Sigh. 

So it lasted for a few miles, but died shortly after I crossed into my 3rd mile. This meant I was winging it from there on out - approximating how far I'd run based on routes I'd run before and the time I was out there. 

The run was alright. The weather was wonderful - misty and about 70* for the first couple of hours. The sun came out around noon which was rude. I really did not appreciate it shining in my face, but honestly after so many runs in 80 - 90* weather, I took it. My body was...what's the right word for this...resigned to the run? That's really the best way I can describe it.

I had my first Gu yesterday, I tried vanilla bean flavor on the recommendation of a friend, and it wasn't bad! I was expecting to be totally grossed out by the texture & flavor, but honestly if I'd closed my eyes I would have believed it was just vanilla pudding. When your eyes are open you notice that the Gu is actually kind of an opaque gel which confuses your brain and starts up the "uh-oh, is this disgusting?" warnings. But anyway, it wasn't hard to get down, and it got 100 calories in my body quickly and effectively. So I think I'll buy some more, maybe try some other flavors. Other runner friends - any flavor recommendations for me? 

for noodle.

Annie please note I'm making an effort to include more pictures specifically for you, even if they're just pictures of Gu. 

Moving on - I thought about 9/11 a lot as I ran yesterday. Every time I tried to get whiny with myself I was like you shut the hell up, you're alive and well and you get to choose to spend your mornings running. There are a lot of people who don't get to make that choice anymore, so you can just calm down and be quiet. I ran by a 9/11 Memorial Dedication ceremony in the Inner Harbor. They had pieces from the World Trade Center buildings in NYC - you know, those twisted beams of steel that you see - and that was quite sobering. Then as I was running through Federal Hill towards the end of my run (I went that way specifically to see all the drunken idiots because the first Ravens home game was about to start, and Fed Hill is insane on Ravens game days), I got to run right under a fighter jet flyover as it was on its way to the stadium. Nothing makes you want to simultaneously cry and/or pee your pants more than fighter jets flying over your head in formation when you've been running for literally hours. 

Molly I know Kenny doesn't fly that type of plane (right?) but if you could ask him to do so and then just keep zipping over the marathon course for me that would be really helpful ok thanks bye. 

SO WHATEVS, when I thought I'd run for long enough I went back home and checked the time - I'd been out for about 3 hours and 20 minutes. My last really long run - the 15 miler - was about 2h 50m I think, so I thought that I must have reached my distance goal yesterday, even though I didn't have my Garmin to confirm. 

I've mapped the run twice and both times it's told me that I ran less than 15 miles. How that happened I have no idea. Did I black out at some point and take a nap in the middle of the street for 30 minutes? Did I run in place for a while? WTF. I did walk sometimes because I was in a lot of pain (WTF, toes? What did I do to you?), but I don't think I walked THAT much. So I'm not sure. Someone's lying here, and it's either the Garmin or MapMyRun.com. 

Over the course of the run I drank a ton of water (refilled all 4 bottles on my belt twice), ate almost 2 entire packs of Shot Blocks (Lemon-Lime and Tropical Punch flavors, my fave) and the 1 Gu mentioned above. When I got back I walked the pup, stretched, took a short ice bath followed by a warm shower, and then ordered a large pizza and ate half of it (the other half was dinner, don't hate). I wanted to wear my compression tights to see if they'd help my legs recover more quickly than normal, but the tights were at Jeremy's so I was out of luck. I wore jeggings instead. Pretty sure that's almost the same thing. 

So, what hurts today:

• My ego 
• My toes
• My back 

I think I need to do a better job of maintaining perspective - I keep saying I "only" ran 15 miles yesterday. That's still 15 miles. Which is further than I could run a few months ago. 

So yeah. A month and a few days to go. 

Not sure where that came from...

So I'll get straight to the point: I haven't been running. I did my 15 mile run however long ago that was (too lazy to look at a calendar right now), and between that point and yesterday I think I only did 4 runs, none of which exceeded 5 miles. I tried - just not very hard.

The week after the 15 I was supposed to do 10 but then I stayed up too late the night before talking to Annie and Lizzy, so I didn't run. The week after that I was supposed to do 15 again but I was getting ready for San Diego and I was totally distracted so I only managed to do 5 - that was a TOTAL cop out by the way because I didn't even have Mugsy with me at that point, he had already gone down to stay with my mom for the week, so I had basically zero excuse to not run. My heart just wasn't in it that day. The week after that I was in San Diego and running was the last thing on my mind. Then last weekend I basically just had a panic attack the night before and decided to sleep instead of running.

The thing is, I panicked because I hadn't been running and I was afraid that if I tried to run, I'd fail. But I have to remind myself in times like those that NOT ATTEMPTING the run is just as big a failure, if not bigger. Anyway. So I was freaking out. I was afraid I wouldn't be ready for the marathon (and by afraid I mean certain) but it was a vicious cycle of being too afraid to run and then growing more and more panicked as the race drew nearer due to not running.

Last night I was supposed to have dinner with my friend Katie but she had to reschedule due to a dr's appointment. Mugsy had spent the day in daycare so he was already tired by the time we got home, meaning that I didn't have to spend time playing with him, or rather, not playing with him and worrying that while I had my back turned he was going to jump on the counter and gnaw on a block of cheese (yes, that happened on Sunday).

So it was kind of like the perfect storm - I hadn't run in a while (since last Tuesday or so) so my legs were fresh, and Mugsy was tired so I didn't have to be worried about him. I got home from work, ate 4 Clif Shot Blocks to get some quickly processed energy, and went up to the treadmill in my apartment building (it's been raining non-stop here for days). I set out hoping that I'd be able to do 5 miles. I started off nice and slow and really eased myself into it, then picked up the pace as I went along. I was feeling really good after 3 miles, and I thought to myself that maybe I could do more than 5, but I didn't want to get ahead of myself, so I just said "Finish 5 and then see about the rest." So I got to 5 and stopped the treadmill, got more water, and hopped back on - and I managed to run 8 total!

I think I totally needed that run last night - I've been feeling stressed lately about more than just the race, and I needed a good sweat session to work off some stress. And it proved to me that I've still got it in me. Somewhere. I made it a tempo run of sorts - after the first couple of miles of warmup everything else was run below race pace, so that felt great too. I'd never gone a step above 5 miles running on a treadmill before - I just mentally couldn't get there - so the fact that I also had the mental endurance to get through 8 miles of staring at the wall reassured me as well.

So - if you'd been wondering why I hadn't been posting about running...well, it's because I wasn't running much. I'm hoping that last night's run will motivate me through the rest of training. This weekend I will be packing more, then next weekend moving and spending Sunday at King's Dominion (JEALOUS?), then the next weekend my friend Emily is getting married (and I have to run 20 miles the next morning, but it's on an official course run so I think that will help), then the NEXT weekend Jeremy and I are flying back to California for another wedding...and then it's only two weeks til the race. So things are busy, and I'm going to need to be even more committed to my runs than I previously was.

So, I'll let you know how that goes.

San Diego Photos

bridget e barry's photostream on Flickr.

Animals at the Zoo, various beaches, myself and Jeremy.

You stay classy, San Diego.

Alright! I'm back! After over a week of radio silence due to my phone's desire to take a vacation from me and stay in Jeremy's car for the week, I am here and ready to tell you about our trip to San Diego!

If you'd rather look at pictures than read, there will be another post following this one with just pictures, but beware it's mostly just shots of animals at the zoo and me taking pictures of Jeremy and Jeremy taking pictures of me. Pretty entertaining stuff.

Also, I feel that I should explain that we were staying in Coronado which is directly across the bay from San Diego, literally like a mile away. Coronado - while some think it's an island - is an isthmus (narrowly connected to the mainland). So it's sort of its own little village but is very very close to SD proper.

So here goes:

Sunday August 21 -

J and I wake up at 4:30 to get to the airport for our 6:30 am flight. We leave late because that's how we roll, then we have to stop to get gas, then we have to wait 10 minutes for the shuttle to pick us up in the parking lot, then we wait in a long line to check our bags, only to be "those people" who are called to the front of the line because if we aren't our flight is going to leave without us. We literally get through security, walk to the gate, and get directly on our plane. We were lucky enough to have a whole row of seats to ourselves so I laid down on the first flight and tried to get some sleep, but it was just a quick flight from BWI to ATL so there wasn't much time. We landed in ATL and caught our next flight to SD. We landed in SD quite early, got our rental car (a red mustang which got a lot of comments from strangers throughout the week, which annoyed me because I don't like people), and headed to the Hotel del Coronado, where we'd be staying for the week. I highly recommend the Del - it's amazing.

For lunch we ate at the Burger Lounge in Coronado by recommendation of the Laufers (Thank you SO MUCH, it was delicious!). After lunch we lounged on the beach for a while, and by lounged I mean Jeremy bothered me until I agreed to get in the FREEZING OCEAN with him for a few minutes, which isn't so bad because your body goes numb very quickly and then you can't feel anything anymore anyway. After our swim session we went back to the hotel room to shower & change, then went to Miguel's for dinner. Miguel's gives you free chips & salsa while you're waiting to be seated, and then once you're seated they give you free queso along with the chips and salsa. So basically, it was heaven. After that we went back to the hotel room and both promptly fell asleep before 10 pm on the end of the bed watching tv. This became a pattern.

Monday, August 22 -

On Monday we got up ridiculously early due to the time change and went to Hash House a Go Go for breakfast by recommendation of a colleague from UA. This place. Was. Ridiculous. Jeremy had the chicken & waffles and Lizzy, I know this will break your heart, but he said the c&w there was better than that of Miss Shirley's. I know those are fighting words, but to settle it, you're going to need to go to Hash House and try theirs and then report back. I'll go with you. The portions were huge and the food was delicious. This place had a line out the door at 10 am on a Monday - new theory - no one in SD actually has a job.

After Hash House we went to the San Diego ZOOOOOOOOO! It was awesome! People say that the Columbus Zoo is the best because it has Jack Hanna, but let me tell you, SD is SO MUCH BETTER! Seriously the best zoo I've ever been to in my life. I am obsessed with Koala bears and I thought long and hard about the potential of stealing one from the zoo and wearing it on my back the rest of the trip like a backpack to pass it off as something other than a stolen Koala. I'm still perfecting my plan and may execute it one day, we'll see. If you have any eucalyptus plants in your backyard let me know, you may be called into service.

After the zoo we went back to the hotel and lounged on the beach some more for the remainder of the afternoon, then for dinner we went to the Village Pizzeria on Coronado. You may also notice a trend of Jeremy and I not leaving Coronado unless forced. We really enjoyed how much was available within walking distance of the hotel, so we took advantage of that convenience as much as possible! After the pizza I had my first experience with Moo Time Creamery which Jeremy later described as "crack for Bridget." They have a flavor there called Brownie Batter that is basically Gooey Brownie in ice cream form. The rest of the trip was basically laid out after that moment as a plan to GET MORE MOO TIME. There was no other priority. None. Jeremy also bought a surfboard on Monday but that had nothing to do with Moo Time so I didn't particularly care. Except that the store was across the street from Moo Time, so I was ok with it.

Tuesday August 23 -

On Tuesday we spent the entire day at the Del or nearby in Coronado - aka we didn't drive anywhere that day. For breakfast we sort of accidentally ate at the hotel buffet (long story), which was delicious, but I'm not sure it was $60-for-two-people-to-eat-breakfast delicious. Although I will tell you I had the best cinnamon roll there I have EVER had in my life. Molly I didn't get to try the Con Pane rolls, but have you had the ones at the Del? Because they're amazing. I wanted to eat like 15 but I restrained myself, figuring maybe we'd be back before the end of the trip, but Irene had different plans for us. More on that later. After breakfast we went down to the beach. I spent all day lounging around reading while Jeremy was surfing. I was also texting Lizzy at this time and learning about the earthquake that the East Coast had because it missed me. I don't know why it has to be so dramatic. I'm just glad none of you were hurt. Tuesday night at the Del they had a wine tasting - 10 wines (1 oz each) for $10, which seemed like a great deal to us! We had a good time there but there were 3 other couples there who brought their children - which was kind of lame. On many levels. After wine tasting we went back to Burger Lounge for Round 2 of burger deliciousness. What can I say, we find a food that we like and we stick with it. We're committed that way.

Wednesday August 24 -

Both of us had gotten a wee bit too much sun by Wednesday, so we took the day off from the beach. We didn't get breakfast on Wednesday because we slept in and then drove up to La Jolla to check out the local scene up there. I really wished I'd had my cell at this point so I could have texted Molly asking for food recommendations in La Jolla, but alas I did not, so we found a local mexican place and chowed down. After chow we drove around La Jolla some more, then drove to Black's Beach which supposedly has some great surfing - but all I saw were naked people on the beach. We didn't stay there long.

After La Jolla we drove down to Ocean Beach and waited for the farmer's market to begin at 4 pm. We observed the surfers on the beach and generally just watched hippies be hippies. Lots of crazies in OB. When the farmer's market began we strolled from stall to stall inspecting their wares. Jeremy got a bottle of creepy green smoothie natural blah blah made from lettuce and other disgusting things that one wouldn't want to drink, and I got 13 mini donuts that were fried right in front of me. I'll let you decide who wins.

After OB we drove down to the Silver Strand which is the thin strip that connects Coronado to the rest of SD. There's a base down there, Molly was that your base or were you at the other base? I think Jeremy's parents were at that one. I got to see the house where Jeremy and his family lived until he was 13 which was really cool! When we returned to the hotel we got cleaned up and then went to have dinner at the pizza place again. I'm telling you, we are really creative. After pizza I got more Moo Time, then we went to get a drink at the hotel's "Late Night Happy Hour" from 9-11 pm, which was a really nice option to have.

Thursday August 25 -

On Thursday we woke up and went to Cafe 1134 for brunch (another Laufer recommendation). We both had delicious burritos and then went to the beach. More aimless lounging on Thursday, and then Thursday night we were supposed to go to a concert by the San Diego Pops (an outdoor concert, they were doing the music of the Rolling Stones). We had tickets and everything, but then we got super un-motivated and like the lazy jerks we are, we skipped the concert and opted to walk around the Gaslamp District instead. The Gaslamp District is in downtown SD and is kind of touristy, basically an area close to Petco Park with lots of bars and restaurants and shopping, really nice to walk around in. I know, I know - we skipped a concert and then had dinner 2 blocks away. Doesn't really make much sense. Anyway, we went to dinner at a mexican restaurant where I had a margarita the size of my head, and then we drove back to Coronado and I got - you guessed it - more Moo Time. I CANNOT BE STOPPED.

Friday August 26 -

On Friday we got up and drove back to OB so Jeremy could surf in some larger waves. When we got there and parked the car we learned that a Great White had been spotted twice in the water near the pier in as many days. I gave Jeremy a pat on the back and told him I'd watch him from my beach chair. We ate at a local cafe that was really good but the name of which I don't recall - and as we were eating we learned that our flight home for Saturday afternoon had already been cancelled due to the threat of Irene! So, much of Friday was unfortunately spent on the phone with Delta trying to get a new flight home :( Friday night we went back to the pizza place 1 last time - again, creativity.

We originally were just going to stay in SD until Sunday, but then we couldn't get our room for another night at the Del, so we bumped our flights up earlier to try to get to Baltimore before Irene did. We were originally supposed to stay in SD until 1 pm on Saturday and be back in Baltimore by midnight. That did not happen. We left San Diego at 6:30 am on Saturday (which means no more cinnamon rolls at breakfast for Bridget, and Jeremy waking Bridget up at 3:45 in the morning which is not the morning and is basically just the middle of the night).

When we left San Diego to fly to Atlanta, our flight from Atlanta to Baltimore was still on time. When we landed it Atlanta, it had been cancelled. So that was cool. We spent 4 hours in the Atlanta airport trying to figure out when we could get home. We almost got on a flight off of standby to DC that afternoon, but the clerical error of some idiot desk attendant bumped us off the list. I not-so-secretly didn't care about being stuck in ATL, though, because it meant we got to see Noodle! After we found out that we were definitely not getting out of ATL until Sunday, Noodle came and picked us up at the airport and took us back to her apartment. We didn't have any of our luggage or anything, which was sad, but Noodle got us a great room at the W and we were able to freshen up before going to dinner with Annie, Josh, and their friend Richard, which was a great time. After dinner Jeremy and I were exhausted and hit the sack in anticipation of our 5:45 am wakeup call the next morning to make it to the airport in time for our next flight. Our flight to Baltimore, you say, right? Wrong. Irene made us fly to SAINT LOUIS and then to DC. St. Louis. Not east. West. WTF, Irene. So we hit STL, then from STL went to DCA, where my mom picked us up and drove us up to BWI so Jeremy could pick up his car - and my phone :)

Our luggage made it to BWI without us (rude) so it was delivered to my apartment building at 5 o'clock yesterday morning, which is a totally normal time to deliver luggage, right? All I have to say is thank God for buildings with a concierge because if he had tried to deliver it to me I would have cut him.

So! That's the story! I hope I haven't bored you all to tears. SD is beautiful and I highly recommend that you all visit soon and take me with you :) The weather was wonderful, the food was great, and I'm looking into how to become one of those mysterious people who live in SD but appear to not have a job.

Yeah, I'll take that.

This is the forecast for San Diego weather while I'm there - this coming Sunday until the following Saturday. Looking a hell of a lot better than this:

which is the Baltimore forecast for while I'm gone. What you can't see on the forecast is the 99% humidity.

So anyway, all that stands between me and SD is:

• the remainder of the work day today
• a few loads of laundry
• 15 miles of running (gag)
• packing (also gag, but less gag than 15 miles of running)
• a 6:30 am flight to ATL + layover + flight to SD on Sunday morning

Soooooo the blog will be lonely and sad for a few days while I'm gone but I will get back to posting when I've returned! :)

Oh...goodness.

It's been raining in Baltimore for days. It rained all weekend (apparently, I wasn't here for the whole weekend) and it rained all day today so when I got home from work, it was quite cool outside and I thought it would be perfect to go for a run - since I hadn't run in over a week (what? who said that?). Yeah...I did my 15 mile run and then...didn't run..for...a...week. Oops. I mean...I've got nothing.

So I went for a run after I walked and fed Mugsy. I bought a couple of these bones for Mugsy this past week and he LOVES them. I bought him peanut butter filled and cheese & bacon filled. He has been working on the peanut butter filled one for literally days. So all dog owners out there - buy these for your doggie! He or she will love them! And them having a bone to chew on = them not bothering you for a while :)

So anyway, with Mugsy chewing on his bone, I went out for a run intending to do 4 miles. I trotted around the Harbor and felt pretty good, but it wasn't as easy as I was hoping it would have been because I thought my legs were well rested.

I went over towards Canton and ran some hills, which I was happy to fit into the run, and I ran into Jeremy walking his dog which was nice. I would include my splits from my Garmin but I couldn't seem to remember to hit the lap button after every mile so I don't really have any good information - but you know they were all slow. I probably ran between 4.25-4.5 miles in the end. It just didn't feel as good as I thought it would have. So once again - a reminder that I need to stick to my training plan more closely. Because I'm really not sure I'm in good enough shape to run this marathon. And it's 2 months from today.

So. I'm running scared. But I guess running scared is better than not running at all, huh?

Book ideas please!

Hello!

I am going on vacation next week for an entire week and I have many hours of flying in store for me (BWI -> San Diego and back) so I am looking for book suggestions that I can download on my Kindle for the trip. Any suggestions? :)

Thanks friends!

Also...

This will probably be the most shocking thing I ever post on this blog, but it happens to be true, so I need to share it with you.

I have given up caffeine. Officially. I think. Forever. For now.

Caffeine has always really affected me - it made me feel really strange if I drank too much of it, and I could never sleep if I drank it after 5 or 6 pm. I'd been feeling really anxious lately, and I realized that maybe all the caffeine I was drinking was contributing to the feelings of anxiety. So I figured it was worth a shot to stop drinking it - especially given all the other studies you can read online (the internet will scare you away from doing basically anything, I'm pretty sure) about how bad Diet Coke is for you (and Diet Coke was my caffeine vehicle of choice). Now, don't get me wrong. I love Diet Coke. And I fully support everyone who drinks it. And I wish I could have kept drinking it. But I have felt more calm/even keeled since I stopped, so I'm going to keep going with it for the time being to see how it goes. It hasn't even been a week yet -- I had my last one last Thursday morning - but it's almost been a week. I think once I make it past 2 weeks I will be pretty sure that I can do it for the foreseeable future.

I want to get to a point where I can enjoy a Diet Coke when I really want one, but my fear is that once my body really gets over the effects of caffeine that I'll be even MORE sensitive to it when I have it occasionally. Thoughts, anyone?

Also, Friday (the first full day w/o any caffeine) was awful. AWFUL. I had a terrible, terrible headache and wanted to kill everything that moved. So that sort of convinced me that I really should stop drinking it because "kicking the habit" was so awful - so it made me feel like it really did have a big effect on my body.

Anyway. Just figured that was worth sharing.

I ran 15 miles, I don't have to be creative.

***UPDATE: Here are my splits***

Miles 1 and 2 were combined because I forgot to reset the lap - so they were 23:36, or about 11:48 per mile.

Mile 3 - 11:43

Mile 4 - 11:55

Mile 5 - 11:47

Miles 6 & 7 - also forgot to reset the lap, so they were 23:46 combined, or about 11:53 per mile

Mile 8 - 11:46

Mile 9 - 11:37

Mile 10 - 11:59

Mile 11 - 12:21 (included walking)

Mile 12 - 11:49

Mile 13 - 12:15 (included walking)

Mile 14 - 11:31

Mile 15 - 12:13 (clearly I was half dead at this point)

So - 1632 calories burned (should have been more like 1500), 2:53:31 total (I am slow), Average heart rate of 167 bpm (finally coming back down).

I need to get faster if I want to finish this marathon before I turn 28.

I've been trying to remember all week to put my Garmin in my purse when I leave for work so that I can blog and include my split times, but I have been forgetting all week. And yes, I could blog from home, but where's the fun and procrastination and laziness and delinquency in that? That's what I thought.

Anyway. I ran 15 miles on Saturday morning. I was terrified. I ate pasta on Friday night and tried to hydrate sufficiently for the run (but can anyone really ever hydrate sufficiently for a 15 mile run?). I didn't fall asleep until around 11:30 or 12, then I got up at about 6:30, walked the dogs (both were there), and set out on my run. I thought about turning back roughly 1321499134 times during the run. Or breaking it up into smaller chunks. Or quitting marathon training and just running the half instead of the full. But I kept running, I just kept saying to myself "just finish this mile then you can decide" and then I'd say "well you just finished that mile without a problem, you can keep running."

I went over into Canton first and then came back towards my apartment - that loop was 6 miles. I ran into my building and up to my apartment to use the bathroom and refill all my water bottles. I then ran through the Inner Harbor, Federal Hill, and up to Locust Point where Under Armour is. I passed UA this time without refilling my water bottles and ran to Fort McHenry (the site of the run where I basically died due to overheating). Screw you, Fort McHenry, for tearing up your asphalt trail and forcing me to circle the Fort on the grass, which was slightly refreshing for my legs but really annoying overall because I had to keep looking at the ground and couldn't raise my eyes to take in the beautiful scenery before me. Anyway, when I looped back around to pass UA again, this time I stopped, hit the restroom, and refilled my water bottles again. Oh, and I'd been eating Clif Shot Bloks every 30 minutes, which worked pretty well. I ate at least a pack and a half if not two packs (I had one full pack and two partial packs). I'm thinking about trying GU or Clif Shot Gel this weekend (which means Annie gets to witness the glory if my stomach rejects them...yay!).

ANYWAY. I was running through the Inner Harbor for the 2nd time when I hit 13.1 miles and then almost burst into tears (you have no idea how emotional you get when you're running long distances) because I had just passed the distance that had previously been the furthest I'd ever run in my entire life. The last two miles were spent on a high basically just being super excited that I was officially running further than I'd ever run before with every subsequent step I took. It felt pretty awesome. When I got back to my apartment building I was still a couple tenths of a mile short of 15 so I circled the block a few times until the Garmin finally tipped over the distance marker.

Other highlights:

• me giving the sun the double middle finger around 7.5 miles because it wouldn't stop shining directly on me and making me overheat
• me giving a homeless man the $10 I'd put in my fuel belt in case of emergency around mile 14.6 because I was on a runner's high and so proud of myself for having run that far (sue me, but I don't normally give homeless people money, especially not ten dollar bills, I'm sorry)
• me "run-dancing" through the Inner Harbor on my way home because I was almost done and I was listening to some good music (Nikki Minaj's new song Super Bass, pretty sure I listened to it 5 times during the run, highly recommend that you download it). It was probably embarrassing but I really didn't care.

So my body was pretty pissed afterwards. My toes still hurt. I'm not sore anymore, but I was the rest of the day Saturday through Tuesday. But I think that run really did more for me mentally than it did physically, because I proved that I can run further than 13.1 without dying, and once you've run 15, 20 doesn't sound that bad, and when I run 20 I'll be ready for 26.2 (that number still strikes fear in my heart, though).

I'll add my splits once I find the motivation to either blog at home or put my Garmin in my purse.

Only facing ten this weekend, and Noodle will be in town and has agreed to run them with me, so I'm looking forward to that!

Two things

1) My dog decided to ride the elevator by himself today. I always take him for a morning walk, and this morning in the elevator on the way back up to our apartment, I took his leash off (I often do this so I don't have to do it while he's trying to get into the apartment). So I got off at the 6th floor, as normal, and he...didn't. I turned around and yelled his name and tried to throw my arm between the elevator doors to no avail. I hit both the up and down elevator buttons but it was no use. It was gone. I spent the next 3 minutes hitting all the buttons only to have the OTHER elevator come multiple times. Finally the right elevator comes back and my dog is...not on it. Meaning he could have been ANYWHERE in the building because I had heard that elevator go by multiple times since I had lost him. So I get on the elevator and ride it down to the lobby, thinking that whoever found him must have taken him down there. Nope. So I get back on and stop on every. single. floor. until I finally find him on the 10th floor, sniffing around outside the elevator. Totally normal. I just cannot imagine what the people who got on/off the elevator before he decided to get off thought! So my morning started with quite an adventure.

2) I'm going to attempt to run 15 miles tomorrow morning. I think I will get up around 6 to try it, and I think with water/food breaks it will take me around 3 hours to complete (don't judge me!). Which means that tonight I need to make a pretty awesome playlist to run to. Any song suggestions?

"But yes I'm still running"

I've said this before, but it's still true - one of my favorite parts of any song of all time is the part of "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" by U2 when they say:

"Well I believe in the kingdom come

Then all the colors will bleed into one, bleed into one

But yes I'm still running"

So yes - I'm still running. Were you worried? How kind of you. I will chronicle two runs in this post because I've been too lazy to post since Saturday.

This weekend I was here:

which was The Great. I got to see a lot of my friends (I wish I had put the pictures from this weekend on this computer so I could post some of them to the blog...maybe I'll add them later, just to entice you to check back). It's always hard going back to Columbus (by Always I mean the two times I've been back since I moved). I didn't leave Columbus because of the city or because of the people - I left because of the job I had there, and I figured it was about time I try something new. So when I go back, it's hard because it's not like I'm thinking to myself "Wow, sure glad I escaped this place!" Instead, I'm thinking "Wow, I really miss my friends and I miss the fact that everything is so CHEAP and SAFE and CLEAN here." Anyway, grass is always greener, right?

So I arrived on Friday morning and spent the rest of the day hanging out with my friends Heather and Jared (apparently Jared reads this blog, Hi Jared!). On Saturday morning I needed to run 12 miles (commence dry heaving) so I got up at 5:45 (sick, I know) and drove across the city to meet up with my old running buddies from the Columbus Running Company at their store in Dublin. I got there at 6:30 and Kathy, Annette, Lisa and I set out to do 8 miles together. These were my splits for the first 8 miles:

1 - 11:19

2 - 11:49

3 - 11:46

4 - 12:06

5 - 11:26

6 - 11:46

7 - 11:38

8 - 11:27

By mile 8 we had arrived back at the store to meet up with the rest of the group, who congregates at 8 am, divides into pace groups, learns where the water stops will be, and sets out for their run. I was able to refill my water bottles on my new fuel belt (that pink one was just too large and therefore too bouncy and I couldn't deal with it. So I bought another on Friday night). This is my new fuel belt:

It is the RunLite 4 from Amphipod. I like it much more than the Nathan Speed 2 I previously bought. More bottles, easier access (they just snap on and off), a little mesh pocket in the front as well as the larger pocket you can see attached to the back, so lots of storage. Plus you can customize the length of the belt, meaning that the fit is much much better for me than the Nathan belt was.

Anyway, moving on. I refilled my water bottles (I'd drained all 32 oz out of them in the first 8 miles), ate some more Clif Shot Bloks (I'd finished an entire pack by that point, so 6 bloks over 8 miles), stretched a little bit, and was ready to go out for the remainder of the run. Kathy and I went out and did the last 4 of my 12 together, and the splits looked like this:

9 - 11:15

10 - 11:11

11 - 10:40

12 - 11:10

Overall, it took me 2:17:42 to run 12 miles (that only includes the time I was running or walking on the course), I burned 1351 calories (I think that is overestimating how many calories I burned, it should have been closer to 1200), my average pace was 11:28/mi, and my average HR was 169 bpm.

So, what did I learn from reviewing my splits? I can run faster than I think I can. I let myself get away with bullshit slower running because it makes me panic less. I need to push myself to be faster. Had I been working the way I should have been, I should not have been able to run the last 4 miles at splits that much lower than those in which I ran the first 8 miles.

Also, I wasn't as sore as I should have been afterwards. Yes, I fueled appropriately. Yes, I stretched - both of which mean that I shouldn't be too sore. But had I really pushed myself, I would have been more sore than I was. And I know long runs aren't the place to push yourself to the limit, shorter mid-week runs are, but still. I think I need to step it up. Sigh.

SO - I ran 12 miles on Saturday and had a great time catching up with my running buddies and then felt free to eat and drink as much as I damn well pleased the rest of the weekend! Which was great since I was visiting all my favorite haunts in Columbus.

Moving onto the 2nd run that I will recap in this post - I ran this morning. I had planned to meet up with my friend Brigid again, but she had a headache and couldn't come out. Luckily, I missed her message telling me that, which meant that I got my butt out of bed and got dressed and went downstairs to run. After 10 minutes I figured she wasn't coming so I set off on my own. This meant that I didn't have my iPod, which was kind of ok with me. Maybe I would have run faster with some music, but I was feeling Saturday's run this morning and needed to be mentally "there" to check my pace and tell myself to slow down when necessary - today was more a recovery run than anything else.

So, I ran 3.84 miles in 45:02. My average pace was 11:45/mi (I didn't stop my watch when I slowed down to walk at two points, one because the dock was slippery, the other because I WANTED TO), and my average heart rate was 165 bpm. It says I burned 427 calories, but I should have only burned about 384 calories (I assume that I'm burning 100 calories/mile while running, pretty standard). I'm starting to tell you guys this stuff so that hopefully I will be so embarrassed by how slow I am that I will run faster. Let's see if it works. My splits were:

1 - 11:10

2 - 12:02 (Includes walking)

3 - 12:11 (Ditto)

4 - 9:36 (this was only 0.84 miles, so had I run a full mile and kept the same pace, it would have been 11:26)

Overall, this run went well. It was nice and cool (only about 77*) when I went for the run, and the humidity was somewhat in check because we had a thunderstorm last night. I enjoyed running w/o my iPod for once, but I don't think I'll be doing it again anytime soon. I do think that music helps me run faster.

So. Yeah. I'm still running. I have to run 15 miles this weekend - probably Saturday morning. But...I...no. Do not want. But I must. Remind me why I signed up for a marathon again?

Also - the answer to the question "How do you run so far?" is clearly - "Slowly." I am not fast. At all. Now you know my shameful secret. But whatever - your medal looks the same if you finish the marathon in 3 hours or 5.

Le sigh.

I was really hoping that I would be able to sit down last night or this morning and write a blog post about how well my run went yesterday. And I'm sure you were hoping to read said blog post, right? Well, no dice (that was for Austin).

My run was AWFUL. WAH, WAH, WAH. Please pity me because I am an adult and I decided to take this project on to train for a marathon and now I DON'T LIKE IT and I DO NOT WANT. So instead of taking my training more seriously, and maybe changing my diet to aid in my training efforts, I think the most effective method of improving this situation is CONSTANT WHINING on my blog that my friends voluntarily submit themselves to reading.

Yes? Yes. Glad we're all on the same page here.

The facts of the situation:

After conquering 10 a week ago, I thought that 7 was going to be nbd (no big deal. not even a big enough deal to actually type the words out). Well, turns out 7 took offense to that and decided that it was going to be a BFD (big fucking deal) instead.

I got plenty of sleep Saturday night. I didn't hydrate quite as much as I should have on Saturday, but I did turn down a glass of wine which I feel my body basically should have taken as a sign that I wanted to be completely hydrated. I'm not entirely sure why it didn't get the memo.

I had Chipotle for lunch yesterday. I thought the carbs in the tortilla + the protein in the beans + the good fats in the guac would be good fuel for my run. I can't decide if last night was the fault of the burrito, but I hate to fault burritos for anything, really, so I hesitate to assign blame. The thing that I may have to blame (as much as it hurts me) are the two gigantic fountain Diet Cokes I drank along with my lunch. I should have been drinking water. I knew that. But I figured that I still had several hours left to prepare as I waited for the temperature go down. The thing is, having hours to prepare doesn't really help you unless you use those hours to prepare. I hope you guys are taking notes on these profound life lessons I'm dishing out right now.

Anyway, I downed a bottle of water before my run and set out to do 7 miles. I made it about 2.5 before I had to stop to walk - I had a stitch in my side that I thought I could run through because I was just about to reach the spot where I'd refill my water bottles (and therefore stop running for a few minutes), but I couldn't run through it. I was having a really hard time taking a full breath - I was taking these short, shallow breaths that were really inefficient, but I couldn't get my breathing to be more productive. So I walked for a few minutes, took the break to refill my water bottles, and then tried to run back - but it was just not happening for me last night. I did a run/walk routine the whole way home and gave up when I passed my apartment again at 5.5 miles - I didn't even try to finish up the last 1.5 miles.

My head just wasn't in it last night, and when it's that hot & humid outside, you really need your head to be in it to get you through a tough run. So. Lesson learned - if you fail to prepare, prepare to fail (credit to whoever said that first, I don't think anyone really knows who it was). Occasional failure on a training run is ok. Just gotta roll with the punches.

I am looking forward to this weekend when I will be in Columbus. I plan to take advantage of the less humid/hot weather and do my long run there (we'll see if I can actually do it). 12 miles this weekend. Eeek!

It is hot and I am squirmy.

I started this blog post yesterday while I was at work, and all I typed was the title, and then I gave up and stared at my computer screen for a while. Because it was hot and I was squirmy. I didn't want to blog. I wanted to sit in a meat locker somewhere (I'd accept the meat locker at 123 Chancellor, or an actual meat locker, except maybe without the meat, just the refrigeration). The actual temperature yesterday in Baltimore was around 105* (my car said 108* when I got in to go home around 3 pm). The heat index, though, was closer to 120* with a repeat performance today (hence why I am currently sitting in my apartment with all the shades closed and two doggies chilling at my feet instead of frolicking like they usually are).

Anyway, enough complaining about the heat - but what that does serve to do is to set the scene for Thursday morning when I went for a run with my friend Brigid. I left my apartment at 6:15 am because I was supposed to meet her about a mile away at 6:30 am (no, I don't run 15 minute miles, but I knew it would take a while for my Garmin to find the satellites and who asked you, anyway?). As I stepped out of my apartment building, the screen on my Garmin fogged over immediately from the humidity. Things that are Uncool, #234235.

I ran the mile to meet Brigid after my Garmin found its satellite homies, then once we met up we continued along the same basic route we took last time. It was oppressively hot the entire time. My friend Michelle told me once that it is generally unbearable to run outside when the dew point is over 60*. You want to know what the dew point was at 6:15 am on Thursday? 79*. You read that right. So it was a struggle, but it was so much better than last time, I think because I hadn't run the night before and had rested instead. We ran the entire way, and Brigid dropped me off at my apartment after a little bit more than 4 miles (and my Garmin took forever to sync up, so probably in total it was close to 4.3, which is a nice cushion).

I walked into my apartment building to get Mugsy so he could accompany me on my cooldown walk (the word cooldown is relative when you're dealing with these temperatures). The difference when I hit my air conditioned, non-sauna like lobby was amazing. My entire body was immediately cooled off because I was COVERED in sweat that couldn't evaporate while I was outside in the extremely humid air. Note - I ate sushi on Wednesday night with a ton of soy sauce, meaning a ton of salt, meaning I had retained a bunch of water, which they say is good to do before a run. So yay for that! An excuse to eat lots of salt! Anyway, I grabbed the Mugman and we walked back outside and the in-out-in routine really proved to me just how terrible it was outside. As soon as we walked back outside, it was like someone was sitting on my lungs - the humidity was suffocating. Boooooo. But, I suppose my body is adapting because it didn't die. Positive thoughts.

Only 7 to deal with tomorrow because it's another cutback week, so that's sweet :-)

OK BYE.

Mama said knock you OUT

Did you see Harry Potter yet? If not, that means you probably haven't seen the preview for Happy Feet 2 where the tiny little fluffball (penguin) raps "Mama said knock you out" by LL Cool J. I'm sorry, but seeing a baby penguin rap "DON'T CALL IT A COMEBACK" killed me. Amaze. Heart.

So anyway, it was applicable, because this weekend I had to knock out 10 miles. And after The Suck that was 9 miles last Sunday, I was really not looking forward to the run. Plus, I didn't have the best week of life last week, so I thought it would just be SO APPROPRIATE to cap it off with 10 miles of Suck. I was not anticipating a good two hour (approximately, with water breaks + pee breaks + chat breaks when I ran into multiple friends) run.

But you know what? It wasn't that bad. In fact, I'd venture to say that it went WELL.

Maybe it was my lowered expectations. Maybe it was some sick runner's high. But it was good! And that's good, right?

I drank a ton of water. It was probably hovering around 90* through the entire run, but with some great cloud cover + breezes thrown in there for relief. I refilled my water bottles on my fuel belt (10 oz each) 3 times - both bottles 2 times and then 1 bottle 1 last time. I ate an entire pack of Shot Bloks (6...they really help). I ran really slowly.

I have to do this thing while I'm running to keep myself going - I have to occupy my mind constantly, and it really helps me to break the run down into smaller chunks and say to myself "Ok, you just ran 2 miles, it's really just 5 segments of 2 miles," etc. Sadly, in my head, I started doing this yesterday at 0.25 miles. And I thought to myself "Ok, a quarter mile down...I only have to do...39 more." And then I burst out laughing. Which is better than crying and hyperventilating, yes? One foot in front of the other. Keep calm and carry on.

As an aside, this is what I'm facing in the next 10 days...hence why my running this week will be on a treadmill or at 6 am (trying again with Brigid to prove to her that I am not a total slug):

I got to see two kids on leashes in the Inner Harbor area...which was awesome. And lots of cute puppies. And I ran by a live concert at Pier 6 but I have no idea who was playing. I just saw lots of people sitting outside listening...and then ran into a couple of intoxicated friends which was pretty funny. I try to always think to myself "if you weren't running 10 miles right now, you wouldn't have gotten to see this."

I lost the ability to smile around 7.25 miles, and instead just sort of grimaced at other runners as we passed (I try to smile at fellow runners because I feel their pain, although yesterday I admit I was mostly thinking "I bet you aren't running 10 miles right now, why did I decide to do this?").

So happy day, it's a cutback week this week which means my long run this weekend is only 7 miles. Can we talk about how ridiculous it is that a run of "only 7 miles" makes me this excited? And I know that at some point, a run of "only 10 miles" will make me really happy.

Also, I just glanced up at my training schedule and this week I'm supposed to run a total of 18 miles over the course of the week (broken into 4 runs, but let's be real, we know I'll only do 3). Now, compare that with the fact that 7 weeks from now, my long run will be 18 miles. So, you know, running IN ONE CONTINUOUS SHOT the amount that I am running this entire week.

Whimper.

**Let it be known that I actually Google Image searched "Runner Fetal Position" and this is what it came back with, but since it's Dwight it's awesome and that's pretty much what my brain looks like when I think about all the miles I have ahead of me.

One of those important life questions...

How do you

when all you want to do is

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM?

seriously, people. i want answers.

It'll all be fine

***EDIT: This post is really funny when you compare it to my post on March 22, 2009. I just talked to the same friend who I reference in that post and she said the same thing...and I laughed, remembering the "implicit hope." Cynicism rules!***

Will it?

**WARNING, SUPER EMO BLOG POST TIME!**

That's what "They" say. It'll all be fine. It'll all turn out ok. Will it? I'm feeling bad for myself at the moment, so indulge me. Things don't turn out ok for everyone. They just don't. Shit happens. Tsunamis happen. Earthquakes happen. Terrorist attacks happen. And no - in NO PART of my mind am I comparing my life to that of anyone who has gone through one of those things or had someone they love do so - but my point is just that I feel like sometimes, "It'll all be ok" is something they (They) tell us so that we don't go fucking nuts and kill each other.

We Hope.

We Have Faith.

Is it only because the other options are too hard to consider?

Wah wah, give me some time to roll around in my self pity and I'll buck up, I promise.