After all of my running, I'm finally coming...home.

Have you seen Country Strong?

If you haven't, you should.

It's a good movie, but I think the soundtrack is even better than the movie itself. There are many great songs on the soundtrack, but my two favorites are Country Strong and Home. Country Strong REALLY pumped me up on the treadmill tonight -- these lyrics specifically:

"I have weathered colder winters

Longer summers without a drop of rain

Push me in a corner and I'll come out fighting

I may lose but I'll always keep my faith

'Cause I'm Country Strong

Hard to break

Like the ground

I grew up on

You may fool me

and I'll fall

But I won't stay down long

'cause I'm Country Strong"

And these lyrics from Home:

"Home,

The world tried to break me

I found a road to take me

Home

There ain't nothing but a blue sky now

After all of my running,

I'm finally coming

Home"

I mean how could you not love you some Gwyneth?

Or some Leighton?

At the very least, it's worth seeing the movie or buying the soundtrack to listen to Leighton Meester lend her extremely thick, extremely fake southern accent to all her songs - for example, "fainger" instead of finger. Totally normal.

ANYWAY. The point of this post isn't to convince you to see Country Strong (although that may be a subpoint). The point is to talk about how after all of my running, I'm finally coming home.

I've been feeling sort of lost lately - in life, in running. And I feel like finally I'm getting back to where I belong within myself. Getting my groove back, so to speak. There's still some work to be done - but I'll get there. I needed to regain faith in myself, and I think I did it tonight on the treadmill.

I set out to do 3 miles and it went well. I had to slow down and back off my initial pace but once I slowed it down (and keep in mind, I'm already slow, so slower than slow is...really slow) I felt really good. I was able to speed it up once I got my stride back and ran the 2nd and 3rd miles faster than the first, which made me HAPPY.

After my run I took Mugsy to the dog park where he spent some more time rolling in the baby pools (if you haven't seen him do that yet, here is a link) and I caught up with my friend Patrick. After THAT I came back and ordered an entire pizza for myself for my dinner, which was delicious. I only ate 3 pieces (cough so far cough) but I eagerly anticipate eating the remaining slices.

Finally - I'm going to cut my hair tomorrow. I'm thinking of making my bangs more like Zooey Deschanel's:

Because then when I make the above face/hand gesture it will look more natural. And I'm thinking I'll take 3 or 4 inches off the rest of my hair - it's just TOO HOT to have hair this long.

Remember? Too hot for life, so too hot for hair.

Dear 9, you're the WORST.

I ran 9 miles yesterday. Well, ran is a relative term, I suppose. I ran/walked 9 miles. The heat was such in Baltimore (around 90* with 40% humidity when I started, even at 6:20 pm) that I had to stop frequently to walk/drink water so that I wouldn't overheat. And yet I still found that I wasn't sweating about 3.5 miles into the run - which is not a good sign. So I walked more, drank more water, and found some shade until I could feel myself cooling off and feel the sweat coming back. I really didn't want to get sick so I was being extra careful.

I had a few desperate moments during this run. The heat combined with the humidity combined with the fact that I was running further than I have in over...jeez, 8 months? It wasn't pretty. Then I misjudged a tree branch and slammed my head into it...uncool. I then discovered a large bump on my head during my post-run shower last night. Doubly uncool. So I definitely had a few of those "OhMyGodWhatAmIDoingWhyDidIThinkICouldRunAMarathonIShouldStopRunningImmediately!" moments. And when they happened, I walked, and I said to myself "You're just panicking. You'll feel better as soon as your heart rate comes back down. So stop freaking out." And I reminded myself that those moments are the REASON you do long runs during your training - because you need to get the freakout moments out of the way during the months you're training so that you DO NOT have them on the race course (or, if you do, you're well aware of how you should self-soothe and keep on truckin').

I ate 4 of these:

Clif Shot Bloks are basically candy that you get to eat while running to make the fact that you're running 9 miles in 90* heat more bearable. Seriously - tropical punch flavor? LOVE YOU. Anyway, they have caffeine and other glorious things that make you feel better pretty quickly after ingesting them while running.

I also bought one of these and wore it yesterday for the first time:

My comments:

• It was very convenient to be able to put my keys, ID, cash (any number of reasons I could have needed that...bottle of water from hobo on the street, cab ride home when I spontaneously quit running), and Shot Bloks in the little pocket on the back.
• The water bottles bounce around A LOT when they are full. Less so after you've had a few sips.
• You need to sip evenly from the two bottles otherwise it will start twisting around your body.
• Maybe - just MAYBE - you should look at the fact that these things have SIZES before you buy yours, and not just grab the only pink one on display and gleefully run to the cash register with it. That's how I ended up with a size Large, when I probably needed a Small (I'm not trying to brag, it's just that with the incorrect size, the velcro doesn't overlap as much as it should, meaning a less secure fit and more bouncing. The last thing I need is more bouncing).

Other things:

I ran in 3" compression shorts last night. If you don't know what these are, they're basically like those little bun-huggers that volleyball players wear. I was trying to wear as little clothing as possible again, in order to not overheat, but I'm pretty sure it's a bit of a faux pas to run in 3" compression shorts. I'm pretty sure people were looking at me and saying "Is that girl even wearing pants?" but maybe they were saying "We should get her a bottle of water." Whatever, I do what I want.

People say that to get used to running in the heat you should RUN IN THE HEAT. And that your body will adjust over time. They're all lying. It's not working.

I had bought dinner for myself at Whole Foods earlier in the day but when I got home, even the idea of BOILING WATER was too much for me (I was going to make black bean/goat cheese ravioli, yum) so I microwaved my leftover mac & cheese from Saturday night's dinner. And it made me sick. But I am still blaming the heat for my getting sick. Mac & cheese never does anything wrong.

The thing is - what I really learned last night is - that I need to cut the shit. I've been messing around with this training. I haven't been cross training, I haven't been stretching like I should, I haven't been taking my nutrition all that seriously. And maybe you can get away with that bullshit when you're training for a half, but you can't when you're training for a full. My longest-mileage week when training for a half was 20 miles -- two 5 mile runs during the week and one 10 mile run on the weekend - and that was MONTHS into training (two weeks prior to race day). This past week I ran 16 miles - during week 3 of marathon training. I was supposed to run 19 but I skipped one of my runs because I think I need to cut down to 3 runs/week instead of 4. This week, there are 21 miles on the schedule. Passing my highest mileage week ever - only 4 weeks into this training schedule.

Shit's about to get real.

Right back at ya, humidity.

I felt like this this morning:

I wanted to feel like this:

but unfortunately I did not. I don't usually compare myself to Homer Simpson but seriously. I felt terrible this morning.

I went out at 7 am to run with my friend Brigid. She ran the 0.5 miles from her apartment to mine and picked me up, and then we ran 3 miles together and I dropped her back off at her doorstep and plodded home. And I mean plodded. I think I ran about 15 steps of the last mile and walked the remainder (which was 1 mile minus 15 steps). Normally if I haven't made it to my mile mark by the time I get home, I run up and down the block in front of my building (which doesn't look strange at all) until I hit the mile mark and then I go inside. Today I was so terribly wiped out that I just threw in the towel and got in the elevator and went upstairs.

I blame the humidity (and the fact that I haven't run in months). Trying to run in the humidity is like holding a damp paper towel over your mouth while you're running and trying to breathe through it. It's not a pleasant experience and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.

So anyway I felt like crap.

I need to research how to adjust to running in the humidity. Because it is the Suck.

And I think I'm going to cut my running to 3 days a week (two midweek shorter runs and one weekend longer run) because my body is NOT PLEASED with running 2 days in a row no matter what the situation.

I'm surprised anyone is still reading this.

OK LOVE YOU BYE.

One foot in front of the other

I ran tonight. Well...I...covered the distance required by my training plan on my feet through a combination of running and walking. More running than walking though! And not too terribly slowly! I was trying not to go out too hard because I'm running with my friend Brigid tomorrow morning before work (it's not ideal to do two runs within about 12 hours of each other but I'm desperate for some company and Brigid is kind enough to run with me).

So anyway it was super hot outside but I really wanted to use my Garmin so I ran outside in the heat - it wasn't terrible - it was a little cooler because I didn't start my run until 7 or so. I sweat a lot. In general and during this run.

I don't really have anything else interesting to say.

So...bye.

OH EXCEPT I HAD CHOCOLATE MILK WHEN I GOT HOME AND IT WAS FABULOUS.

OK bye again.

You're not really reading this, are you?

I've gotta say, people. For once, I gave you free license to berate me (with the condition that I didn't post regularly about my running)...and I've been silent about running for almost a week now...and no angry texts? No e-mails? No blog comments saying "Where the eff are you and I know the answer is on your couch because you're a lazy sack of potatoes!"

Hmmmm. I may need to find meaner friends.

Anyway, I was supposed to run 15 miles during week 2 of marathon training...I ran 8. Oops.

I just started typing the words "In my defense" and then deleted them because all the reasons were stupid. I could have gotten the runs in. I just didn't. I chose to hang out with friends, eat food, drink beer, and rest instead. I'm ok with my decision. I just hope my body is ok with my decision when I ask it to run 9 miles this Sunday.

So anyway I did my long run on Sunday evening. I had to do it indoors on the treadmill because it was too effing hot outside to even THINK about running. Like, you think about running, you start sweating. No good. So I ran it on the treadmill, and I knew that I was going to have a hard time completing the run from a mental perspective (I felt pretty fresh physically given the 4 "rest days" I took) so I told myself that I could run 1 mile, walk 1 minute, and repeat until I hit 5 miles. It really helped break up the run into smaller, more manageable chunks.

I rested again yesterday and today I'm planning on conquering my 3 mile run after work...on the treadmill again because it's once again, too hot in Baltimore. I think the forecast should just say that - "Today: Too hot." Too hot for what, you ask?

LIFE.

Anyway. I hope that as the race grows nearer (3 months 11 days from today), I will be able to move my long runs outside because - while I am not certain of much when it comes to running - I am certain that my body will not be able to handle 26.2 outdoors without having trained on similar surfaces.

Also, in other news, yesterday Jeremy tried to prove to me that Diet Pepsi is better than Diet Coke. I told him that I was sorry he was so terribly misinformed. We decided to do a blind taste test (note to reader, when I first wrote that I typed testes and then giggled to myself) in my apartment using a can of Diet Pepsi and a can of Diet Coke. The idiot tried to fool me by giving me Diet Pepsi twice in a row but my sophisticated palette knew exactly what he was up to.

Diet Coke reigns supreme. Forever.

Check out Jeremy's commercials!

Thought you guys might be interested to see Jeremy's latest commercials for Under Armour!

Here is the 60 second version:

http://vimeo.com/25731276

and here's the 30 second version:

http://vimeo.com/25731457

I'd embed them but...I don't know how (since they're from Vimeo and not YouTube).

ok enjoy BYEEE!

Will Run For Chipwiches

Yesssssssss, I did my run last night. Yesssssssss, it blew.

I'm not sure if I was just not sufficiently recovered from my run on Sunday, or if the heat in Baltimore yesterday just zapped me (don't worry, I came to my senses and didn't try to run outside, I ran inside on the treadmill last night), but whatever it was, my run blew last night. I thought that after my 7 miles on Sunday, the 3 miles I had to do yesterday were going to be a piece of cake - not so much. My legs felt like lead as soon as I started the run. I thought I'd feel better as I ran further, sometimes it just takes me a mile or so to warm up (which is weird when you're only doing 3, but whatevs). Again...not so much. I got a mile in and then decided that it was imperative that I walk. So I walked for a minute or so. Then I started running again. The last two miles were a combination of running, sprinting, and walking. I thought about stopping multiple times, but I didn't (gold star, please). I probably

walked 2 minutes out of the 2nd mile, and 1 minute out of the last mile, but when I was running, I was running really quickly (I'm not sure if I'm trying to convince myself or you here, or if it really matters either way).

So, what did I learn:

1. Go out slowly after your long runs, even if you've rested the day before. It's not going to be pleasant. I hope this improves with time.
2. Stretch more. Stretch better.
3. Right quad still annoying me. Still not sure why.
4. Walking is not failing.

After my run, I went to dinner with some friends and treated myself to this:

Well hello, Mr. Beer! Aren't you JAUNTY? You're cold and you have carbs, I like you.

And some of this:

Because YES.

And then today Jeremy brought me one of these:

(NOTE: That is not my hand. Or my Chipwich. I downloaded that off the interwebs) which makes him awesome. It was delicious and by the end of it there was ice cream on my hands, my desk, my dress, and my arm. If you're going to eat it, enjoy it, don't be PRETTY about it.

So what else did I learn?

I'm one of those runners who thinks that when you run, you get to eat whatever you want without gaining weight. This is not in fact the case for two reasons:

1. Your calorie burn still has to outweigh (pun intended) your calorie intake or you will gain weight. That said, generally, you burn about 100 calories per mile run, so last week I burned an additional 1600 calories over the course of the week, this week I'll hopefully burn an additional 1500 calories, etc. Now, do I think I'm eating that many more calories (and then some, to cause me to gain weight, which I have)? No - but if I keep it up, it might get that way. In reality I think the TUB OF HOUSE DRESSING I ate while in Charlottesville a few weeks ago is just catching up to me (it was worth it).
2. You cannot eat whatever you want because it still needs to fuel you on your runs. You eat crap, you'll feel like crap. And you'll feel even more like crap because you're pushing your body to the limit and asking it to perform athletically.

I do not like either of the above lessons, but I'm forced to live with them if I want to accomplish my goal of running a marathon.

Am I going to run tonight, you ask? NO! Again, for two reasons:

1. Based on my performance last night, I think I need a little more time to recover, so I'll run on Friday after my half-day of work.
2. I GET TO SEE THIS PERSON TONIGHT!I just hope I won't stand that way or make that face...ever again. So excited to see you Smolls!

A couple of delicious recipes

I mentioned in a recent post that I'm in a book club. The last time we had book club, Beth (Walk, for Paul Soper's amusement) hosted and laid out a delicious spread for all of us, including the two below dishes. They were so great that we pestered her until she sent us the recipes, which I am including below. I highly recommend that you try them!

Chinese Chicken Salad

Ingredients:

Salad:

2 pkgs chicken ramen noodles, crushed

1 c sliced almonds

1 bunch green onions, chopped

2 bags shredded cabbage (or cole slaw mix w/o dressing)

2 c cooked chicken, diced

1/2 stick butter

Dressing:

6 tbls sugar

2 tbls white vinegar

1 tsp salt

1 tsp pepper

Dash of dry mustard

1 tsp garlic powder

1 c vegetable/canola oil

Brown noodles and nuts in butter until golden brown. Include 1 seasoning packet from ramen. Add onions and saute. Allow to cool.

Add remaining ingredients and mix with dressing.

This second recipe reminded me of Molly Laufer, mostly because I think it's kind of a combination between a (sweet) cheese ball and that cookie dough dip she told me about one time:

Kahlua Dip

Ingredients:

1 tub Cool Whip (8 oz)

1 bar of cream cheese, softened (8 oz)

1/3 c Kahlua

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 bag of mini chocolate chips

Vanilla wafers

Mix together first four ingredients thoroughly, then add chocolate chips and stir to distribute evenly. Chill. Serve with vanilla wafers (or animal crackers, pretzels, use your fingers, whatever you think would be delicious!)

Lucky 7

I successfully completed my first long training run for the marathon!

Woo-hoo!

Thanks to Molly Laufer for checking in on me and asking how it had gone. I waited until Sunday evening to attempt this run because the weather forecast indicated that the weather would be most conducive to running during this time.

Luckily I received my Garmin 305 in the mail yesterday afternoon and was able to fiddle around with it and figure out how to use it before the run today. Also luckily, Jeremy agreed to do part of the run with me. I ran the 2 miles to his house and then he came out with me for the next 3.5 miles. I dropped him back at his house and completed the last 1.5 miles back to my apartment alone (I had sort of run out of my way to get to his house on the way there in order to extend the distance). Having Jeremy with me for those middle miles was a HUGE help. It distracted me from the distance that I was facing and allowed me to break the run into smaller segments.

Having the Garmin really opened my eyes to how inconsistently I run! My pace was ALL OVER THE PLACE! Especially the first two miles prior to picking Jeremy up - I went out way too fast. I kept checking the watch and noticing that I was going too quickly but I had a hard time slowing down consistently. Don't worry - the miles eventually slowed me down and I finished the run just about on pace. The middle miles I ran with Jeremy were faster than I wanted them to be but he was slowing himself down for me so I was trying to keep up and meet him in the middle pace-wise. We stopped running to walk a few times. I had the Garmin set to automatically pause every time I STOPPED, but I think from now on I'll have it stop when I drop below a certain pace (and it's clear that I'm walking i/o running) because the setting it was on this time meant that my average pace per mile was 11:44, which I know is just significantly slowed down due to the segments that we walked.

I'm not really good at reading the Garmin information that was loaded onto my computer yet...but I'm hoping that over time I can learn to understand it better.

When I got home I was starving - it was about 8 pm - and I still needed to go to the grocery store to shop for dinner ingredients. I walked Mugsy, ran over to Whole Foods (it's 2 blocks away, love), and got some ingredients.

When I got back from WF I threw back a glass of chocolate milk (the fact that this is an awesome recovery drink is a huge bonus in my book) and showered quickly before making dinner. This is what I ate:

I know, I know. It looks DELICIOUS, right? Not at all, looks like vomit. Anyway, it's 1 whole tomato, 1/2 an avocado, about a cup of plain quinoa (thanks to the Whole Foods salad bar I didn't have to cook it myself which is the Yay), a few pieces of marinated mozzarella, and I'd guess 1/2 cup of plain chickpeas. I think it was full of protein and good fats (and some bad fats, whatevs), and the tomato would help re-hydrate me after my long run. I felt good eating it, at least! But lesson TOTALLY learned - in the future, make sure you've planned for dinner before heading out on your long run! In case there was any doubt - my motivation to train for this marathon comes 50% from the fact that I will be able to eat WAY MORE. I LOVE FOOD.

FOOD.

LOVE.

OK so I'm totally being verbose right now, maybe it's a post-run high, but all in all:

• I'm totally proud that I finished 7 miles tonight and did it without feeling bad at all during the run
• Having Jeremy with me for half of the run was a HUGE HELP and I hope I can bribe him to continue running with me
• Chocolate milk is The Awesome
• I need to hydrate better next time
• My right quad is The Pissed. I need to roll/ice it now.
• Garmin = also The Awesome

OK BYE THANKS FOR READING! :-D

Yeahhhhh!

I don't normally blog on the weekends but I just wanted to check in and let you know that I did my training run last night (well, yesterday afternoon prior to going out and getting le drunk...running is really good for drinking efficiency because you're already dehydrated and you get drunker faster) and it went really well! Yes, it was only 3 miles, it wasn't a long run, but it was a successful run, and that's all that matters in my opinion! :) So I'm feeling good. My Garmin should arrive in the mail today and I'm looking forward to using it when I attempt my 7 mile first-long-run tomorrow :) Wish me luck!

Lots of smiley faces in this post. Hmmm.

Well, that was the suck.

Did I do my run yesterday, you ask? I mean, I tried. Which I think counts for something. Right? I think you technically only "fail" at doing a training run when you don't even try to do it. I think given that I put my shoes on, trotted out the door, and ran a mile before I started walking (and then continued to run/walk the rest of the 3 miles fearing death if I tried to continue running the whole way)...I mean, I feel like that's something. A for effort, right?

This is where I was running:

Yes, that is what you get if you Google Image search "Surface of the Sun." It was 95* in Baltimore yesterday at 5 pm, but I decided, brilliant road warrior that I am, that I was going to tough it out. I was sufficiently hydrated, right? So my body would cool itself down with sweat, right?

I'm not entirely sure why this occasionally happens (maybe some of my running buddies can help explain) but my body started sweating...and then stopped. I think it was like "Well, this is clearly a losing battle so I'm just going to sit this one out and let you think about what you've done."

Why, body? I thought we were in this together.

Really, this is where I was running:

This is Fort McHenry which I'm sure is significant for many a historical and cool reason but really all I care about is the nice asphalt path along the water and the gorgeous views of the harbor it provides. Granted, yesterday I couldn't have cared less about either of those things because I was just thinking "don't die don't die don't die," but on most days it's a pretty nice view. One thing I should have thought about: not many trees along the path to provide me with any shade at all.

You know, maybe my body didn't stop sweating. Maybe it was just so hot that when I did sweat, it evaporated immediately. Uncool.

So anyway...it wasn't great. But not all of my training runs over the next few months are going to be great. I just. Want. To complete. The race.

In other news, I've started using Dove bar soap as my hand soap in my bathroom and suddenly my cuticles aren't dry and cracking anymore. Imagine that. Expensive, annoying cuticle creams be damned, Dove will do the job!

Don't worry, this won't last.

By "this" I mean the posting about running, not the actual running. I hope. Maybe both.

I did my first official training run last night on the treadmill at my apartment building. Highlights:

1. My french braid coming undone around 1.5 miles in and leaving me running with my hair loose like the female version of Fabio. I paused the treadmill and rectified that situation quite quickly.
2. Girl who got on the treadmill next to me when I had about 1 mile left who I'm pretty sure was trying to race me, although that may have just been the mid-run paranoia talking (don't act like you don't know about the mid-run paranoia).
3. My friend Katie calling to say she was on her way to pick me up for book club when I was about 0.2 miles away from the end of the run, and me answering the phone and panting into it with no explanation for her as to why I was breathing so heavily (that is, until I got into her car sweating (more than usual)).
4. Finishing!

Here's the thing people. This run was only 3 miles long and it made me SAD. Because when I finished, all I could think was "Only 23.2 miles to go! Yeah...I'm gonna take a nap."

Instead of taking a nap I went to book club, which was fun. We read Room by Emma Donahue (which I have yet to review on my book blog, sorry). I had a great time at book club (we had a picnic outdoors and I'm pretty sure I ate enough food for all the rest of the girls in the club, whatever, post-run metabolism high), but I did not have a great time reading Room. It's super depressing and slightly perverse.

So. Caveat emptor on the whole Room thing. But yeah, please keep pestering me about my runs.

New girl crush

So I e-mailed my friend Molly (I'd link to her blog but she HASN'T UPDATED IN A YEAR so I have decided not to in a passive-aggressive (heavy on the aggressive) attempt to get her to update it or start a new blog) earlier today asking for some of the blogs she read while training for the marathon she recently completed.

She sent me quite a few suggestions but I can already tell that my favorite is going to be Running off the Reese's. The author is awesome. Super snarky and hilarious.

Two of my favorite discoveries from her blog so far:

because I, like her, am the Good Luck Chuck of women.

And:

because, yes. Amazing. I don't care if you're a runner, watch the video. It's hilarious.

Also, I'm officially starting my training for the Baltimore Marathon today. It's in October. 10/16/2011 to be exact. I figured that since I get free registration through working for Under Armour, I could use the money I saved (plus other money that I have no reason to spend but I'm trying to rationalize here leave me alone) to buy a Garmin 305 and a hot pink iPod nano to keep me company on my long. Long. Long. Lonely runs.

Here we go!

Please make sure to ask me every time you talk to me from now on how my marathon training is going so that I am shamed into actually doing my runs. And after I answer you say "are you lying?"

Thanks.

Apparently I do this now

See mah puppeh on the interwebs.

He is the cute.

Huh.

Just a random thought - not much time to flesh this one out - but I'm wondering...

Are we only as mature as consequences demand in life? Is growing up a process of adapting to ones surroundings and becoming more mature in order to most likely guarantee success? Or is it a natural progression that results in the ability to confront more difficult situations and circumstances in life?

Does life whip us into shape or do we take on bigger challenges when we're stronger? Or both?

I'll be thinking about this for a while.

Something Borrowed

Last night I went on a date with my friend Karen. We ate mexican food and saw a movie. Really, what better way is there to spend a night than eating mexican food and watching movies?

I've really been wanting to see Bridesmaids but I had just leant Karen the book Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin, so I felt it was appropriate that we see that instead. I never reviewed that book on my book blog because I read it before I started the book blog - but the short and sweet of it is that it's a great vacation/beach read. Not going to change your life but you will finish it very quickly, it's quite interesting.

I had heard the movie was terrible so I didn't have high hopes. I needed to see something mindless. I'm not sure if it was my low expectations that made the movie good, but it was good. So if you're looking for something to see and you have already seen Bridesmaids (I would have chosen that first if not for my friend having just finished the book), give Something Borrowed a chance.

Also, make sure you look out for the Emily Giffin cameo in the movie - she's sitting next to Marcus and Rachel in Central Park reading the sequel to Something Borrowed, called Something Blue (also worth reading). Thought that was a cute nod. Quite a quick shot though so don't blink or you'll miss her!

Are you there, Wufus? It's me, Bridget.

I love me some Rufus Wainwright, and I think you should too. Applicable lyrics today:

Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk

"cigarettes and chocolate milk
these are just a couple of my cravings
everything it seems i like's a little bit stronger
a little bit thicker
a little bit harmful for me

if i should buy jellybeans
have to eat them all in just one sitting
everything it seems i like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me

and then there's those other things
which for several reasons we won't mention
everything about them is a little bit stranger
a little bit harder
a little bit deadly

it isn't very smart
tends to make one part so broken-hearted

sitting here remembering me
always been a shoe made for the city
go ahead, accuse me of just singing about places
with scrappy boys faces
have general run of the town
playing with prodigal songs
takes a lot of sentimental valiums
can't expect the world to be your raggedy andy
while running on empty
you little old doll with a frown

you got to keep in the game
maintaining mystique while facing forward
i suggest a reading of 'a lesson in tightropes'
or 'surfing your high hopes' or 'adios kansas'

it isn't very smart
tends to make one part so broken-hearted

still there's not a show on my back
holes or a friendly intervention
i'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit irish
a little bit tower of pisa whenever i see you
so please be kind if i'm a mess
cigarettes and chocolate milk"

And yes I'm using my blog as my new emo away message vehicle. YOU LIKE IT.

Another reason Grey's Anatomy is THE BEST.

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't 'cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone, and then I fell apart, I might not make it. It's easier to be alone. Because what if you learn that you need love? And then you don't have it? What if you like it? And lean on it? What if you shape your life around it? And then...it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is, death ends. This? It could go on forever," Meredith Grey

Ladies and Gentlemen

Do you guys remember this? It's worth revisiting.

Everybody's Free (to wear sunscreen) by Baz Lurhmann:

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99,
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proven by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering
experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your

choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…"

to my friends - thank you for working hard with me to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle. you're the best. remember that, because it's a compliment.

deep thoughts.com/young musings.

When I was in elementary school, I thought that when I was in high school I'd be driving a BMW convertible (I was an asshole in elementary school...just ask Lizzy).

When I was in high school, I thought that when I was in college I'd meet my future husband and I'd figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

When I was in college, I thought that after I graduated I'd love my first job, but I'd only be there for about two years before I'd move on. Where would I move on to? I figured by that point I'd DEFINITELY have met my future husband and we'd decide together where we'd go.

I was wrong.

About everything.

Well, except the BMW convertible, but it was about 10 years later than I thought it would be ;-)

Never have I felt like I've been headed down the wrong path in my life in general. In my professional life? Yes, for sure. I still think I'm on the right path, but maybe the space between milestones is just longer than I originally thought. Maybe the milestones are in a different order. You know what they say - and by they I mean John Lennon - "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

I'm not sure where I'm going with this - and by this I mean both this blog post and life in general. Is planning futile? Is it true that if you want to make God laugh you should tell him about your plans? Is it better to just let go and let life happen to you? How do you strike the right balance? To make sure that you're headed in the right direction but you're not marching forward so rigidly that you totally lose it if you get blown off path? That you're not focusing so intently on the goal that you don't see what you pass along the way?

No seriously, I'm asking you for answers here.

Is anything absolute? When I was younger I had all these thoughts of "I am this way, I am that way, I would do this, I would never do that." Some things hold true, others don't. If you define yourself by a list of things and one by one those things change...when do you yourself change?

I'm 27 now and maybe I don't know quite as much about who I am as I thought I did, but I guess I know more about who I'm not.

Quotes from The Magicians by Lev Grossman

This time with feeling. I reread The Magicians and thought you might like to see some of my favorite quotes so that maybe you'd want to read it too.

"He let himself unclench a little. Just slightly, he stopped bracing for the blow from above, and for the first time he seriously considered the idea that it might not come at all," p41

"His crush went from exciting to depressing, as if he'd gone from the first blush of infatuation to the terminal nostalgia of a former lover without even the temporary relief of an actual relationship in between" p64

"It occurred to him, long after it should have, that he wasn't the only person here who had problems and felt like an outsider. Alice wasn't just the competition, someone whose only purpose in life was to succeed and by doing so subtract from his happiness. She was a person with her own hopes and feelings and history and nightmares. In her own way she was as lost as he was," p67

"When he saw Julia, he searched himself for the old love he used to feel for her. It wasn't gone, but it was a dull, distant ache, still there but healed over - just the shrapnel they couldn't remove," p72

"The entire time he'd been at Brakebills, through First Year, the exams, the whole disaster with Penny, right up until the night he joined the Physical Kids, Quentin had been holding his breath without knowing it. He realized only now that he'd been waiting for Brakebills to vanish around him like a daydream. Even aside from the many and varied laws of thermodynamics that were violated there on a regular basis, it was just too good to be true. It was like Fillory that way. Fillory never lasted forever. Ember and Umber promptly kicked the Chatwins out at the end of every book. Deep down Quentin felt like a tourist who at the end of the day would be herded back onto some dirty, lumbering, snorting tour bus - with ripped vinyl seats and overhead TVs and a stinking toilet - and shipped home, clutching a tacky souvenir postcard and watching as the towers and hedges and peaks and gables of Brakebills dwindled in the rearview mirror. But it hadn't happened. And now he understood. he really got, that it wasn't going to happen. He'd wasted so much time thinking, It's all a dream, and It should have been somebody else, and Nothing lasts forever. It was time he started acting like who he was: a nineteen year old student at a secret college for real, actual magic," p106

"Janet was about as annoying as a person could be and still be your friend, but Quentin was never bored around her. She was passionately loyal, and if she was obnoxious it was only because she was so deeply tender-hearted. It made her easily wounded, and when she was wounded she lashed out. She tortured everybody around her, but only because she was more tortured than anyone," p108

"You just had to get some idea of what matters and what doesn't, and how much, and try not to be scared of the stuff that doesn't. Put it in perspective. Something like that. Or otherwise what was the point? He didn't know if he could explain it to Josh. But maybe he could show him," p133

"It was an amazing outpouring of collective joy. Quentin had forgotten he was capable of that emotion, the way a lost spelunker feels like there was never such a thing as sunlight, that it was just a cruel fiction," p154

"What was he going to do? What exactly? Every ambition he'd ever had in his life had been realized the day he was admitted to Brakebills, and he was struggling to formulate a new one with any kind of practical specificity," p210

"I got my heart's desire, he thought, and there my troubles began," p220

"She always kept a cool head in difficult moments, maybe because she tended to be so out of control so much of the rest of the time," p233

"'What are you, a child? You got confused? Why didn't you just end it, Quentin? You obviously lost interest a long time ago. You really are a child, aren't you? You're obviously not enough of a man to have a real relationship. You're not even enough of a man to end a real relationship. Do I have to do absolutely everything for you? Or you know what it is? You hate yourself so much, you'll hurt anybody who loves you. That's it, isn't it? Just to get even with them for loving you. I never saw that before now.'" p254

Cheers

jamming to this currently.

"Life's too short to be sitting around miserable

People gonna talk whether you doing bad or good, yeah..."

"Oh, let the Jameson* sink in

I drink to that, yeah yeah

Don't let the bastards get you down

Turn it around with another round"

*I prefer Jack myself but I'll let it go.

Quotes from Blessings by Anna Quindlen

"That stayed with her for years, that sketch drawn in a few simple sentences, that idea of a parallel life that might have been hers," p66

"'Stalking,' she said. 'If you want delphiniums you must keep them stalked.' There were still some things of which she was absolutely certain." p130

"At each light he told her to make a wish. A pony. A pink bicycle. A spaniel puppy. 'That's too many wishes,' Lydia had called across the darkening oval at the center of the string of lights, and her father had called back, 'Ah, Lyds, my love, don't ever say that.'" p148

"She realized that lying was easier than telling the truth because it had such nice smooth edges, not jagged with impossibility and inconvenience the way the truth so often was." p151

"'Mother, that happened almost fifty years ago. It's a little late for you to become exercised about it.' She was right, of course. What a soft patina the passage of time gave to everything, at least once one learned to live in the present." p162

Quotes from The Reader by Bernhard Schlink

"And perhaps we are responsible even for the love we feel for our parents. I envied other students back then who had dissociated themselves from their parents and thus from the entire generation of perpetrators, voyeurs, and the willfully blind, accommodators and acceptors, thereby overcoming perhaps not their shame, but at least their suffering because of the shame. But what gave rise to the swaggering self-righteousness I so often encountered among these students? How could one feel guilt and shame, and at the same time parade one's self-righteousness? Was their dissociation of themselves from their parents mere rhetoric: sounds and noise that were supposed to drown out the fact that their love for their parents made them irrevocably complicit in their crimes?" p171

"I decided to write the story of me and Hanna. Since then I've done it many times in my head, each time a little differently, each time with new images, and new strands of action and thought. Thus there are many different stories in addition to the one I have written. The guarantee that the written one is the right one lies in the fact that I wrote it and not the other versions. The written version wanted to be written, the many others did not." p217

Remember that time I had a blog?

Me neither.

Have you listened to "Me & Mrs. Jones" by Michael Buble (Austin...you know how I just said that in my head) lately?

If not, you should.

Really, do it now:

Feeling some Jason Mraz this afternoon

Check these two out:

1) Running live at Java Joe's

2) After an Afternoon live at Java Joe's

Strike that, reverse it

So after Sirius Black I moved on to Padfoot (Paddy for short) and then last night I think I arrived at the final name...I think this pup is meant to be called Mugsy Bones.

What do you think??

I am a bad blogger

But I finally have news worth blogging about...

I adopted a puppy last week! Long story (will post more later + more pictures) but I think I am going to call him Sirius Black. He's about 5 months old.

Woof!

more sick music.

yeah that's right, i said sick and i wasn't being ironic.

you can listen to this while you train for this.

disney princess half marathon. february 2011. DO IT.

or just listen to the music and then come and cheer us on (and by us i only mean me so far, but i'm trying to convince noodle and the mollys, and whoever else will let me convince them, i just figured i'd start with the usual half marathon suspects. i just accidentally typed shuspects and it made me giggle because i thought of "can i have a schmample?").

so who else is coming?

**UPDATED** - paul sent me the music link. paul always sends me the music links. if there is ever a reference to anything on my blog that is pop culture related, it likely came from paul.

that said, paul, you should have been so excited that i'm trying to run a disney race that you would overlook that i missed your h/t.

I've been meaning to tell you about these...

Have you ever had Sister Schubert's rolls before? You get them in the freezer section of your grocery store and they come in a plastic resealable bag (that's one of the options) so you can just take out however many you need and pop them in the oven.

They're delish. Check them out.

Also, when (not if) you come visit me in Baltimore, you will have to try:

1) Berger Cookies (thanks Paul for the suggestion and thanks Katie for buying them for me). Vanilla cookie base with a THICK layer of fudge on top. And I'm not talking about "fudge." I'm talking about FUDGE. For real.

2) Fried Oreos at Stuggy's in Fell's Point. Oreos, dipped in funnel cake batter, fried. Yes.

Do you guys have any favorite products you can get at the grocery store that you'd like to share? Trader Joe's? Whole Foods? Safeway? Giant? I don't think we have Kroger in B'more. I particularly love hearing about store-brand substitutes that are just as good as the more expensive stuff.

Carter sighting!

Just in case you missed my plug of her blog the first time, my friend Carter from UVA (COMM 06) has a blog called The Kitchenette that is just awesome. And recently her blog was mentioned on the Food Network website! How cool is that? Here it is again.

So, this basically means that Bobby Flay and I are married. Pretty sure.

Noodle sighting?

So I have been reading Vogue all day at work (it counts, I work in fashion...kind of) and there's this DKNY ad that I keep seeing and it keeps striking me how much this girl in the ad looks like my friend Annie (Noodle). For those of you who know Annie and care, check this site out, I couldn't get a screen shot to show you because it's like, a slideshow of images, but I'm hoping you'll see immediately which girl I'm talking about. Noodle do you work for DKNY as a model now?!

Again my friends come through in a clutch

Owl websites.

This one courtesy of Meghan Barr.

Way to go, Meghan Barr. You win.

Also, watch this. (harvard sailing team boys will be girls)

And these. (verymarykate)

you're welcome.

Have you read this?

What's up with the twentysomethings?

Please do so.

My favorite thing in this article:

The word pluripotent, which means:

plu·rip·o·tent definition

Pronunciation: /pl u̇ -ˈrip-ət-ənt/
Function: adj
1 : not fixed as to developmental potentialities

Makes ya think.

Hooties!

Like puppy cam, except more feathery.

Third time's the charm...

Final post of the day:

1) I just realized that Step Up, the dance movie with my husband Channing Tatum, was filmed in Baltimore! Or rather, set in Baltimore, I haven't been watching closely enough to see if it was filmed here. But really, I think it's a sign. Of what, not entirely sure. But a sign nonetheless. One funny thing is that Channing Tatum's character is meant to live in a bad part of town, but he lives in Hampden, which, I don't know, maybe that was the ghetto before, but now it's a quirky area where young people live.

2) Molly Laufer, obviously our shared affinity for Fountain Diet Coke + Root Beer + Lemons is another sign that we were meant to get maui'd. Please advise if you will still be visiting home on Sept 29th because that is on my calendar! And in case you won't be able to get on the internet tomorrow when you move back onboard, Happy Birthday! Love you!

3) I went for a run when I came home from work even though it was 90* outside (I ran in the shade to try to minimize the heat and carried a bottle of cold water with me) and then came home, stretched, and took a cool shower. It has been an hour and 15 minutes since I came home and my body is still drenched in a cold sweat. Uncool.

This is going to be a problem

Did I mention that UA has free fountain Diet Coke? And they also have root beer "on tap" so I can make my favorite combination of all time, Diet Coke + Root Beer + Lemons?

Yeah. About that.

Quick update

Michael Phelps lives in my building. Unfortunately I did not learn this by spotting him, I learned it from another PLM (that's what I am)...hmmm. Stalking will ensue.