I'll regret this later

I'm not sure how many of you have heard this story...and I'm sure I'm going to get mocked endlessly about this, but I just thought of it randomly and started laughing so I thought it would be worth sharing...because the humor that can be derived from this story is relatively more important than the amount of damage my ego will sustain by sharing it.

A while back (around March of 2010) I got a personal trainer. You guys have heard the beginning of this story and you're probably thinking "I remember this..." but I'm pretty sure you've never heard this next part.

So I got a personal trainer. He was roughly 5 years old, but he looked like Channing Tatum (and none of you ever met him, so you can't refute that statement). After a few weeks of sessions, he asked if I'd like to have lunch with him over the weekend. I agreed to it (what did I have to lose? answer: dignity), but we never ended up going to lunch. He made up a reason why, I believed it (see above re: loss of dignity), and he asked if he could make it up to me by cooking dinner for me at his apartment the next night.

In the course of our training sessions, he'd occasionally mention a roommate. So I was thinking to myself "Hmmm, chances he's trying to lure me to his apartment to murder me are significantly reduced by the fact that he has a roommate, so I'll go with it." (Shhhh, just let the story happen.) So I go to his apartment the next night, and lo and behold, it's a one bedroom apartment. When I asked about the mysterious, seemingly non-existent roommate, he told me that he'd moved to this new apartment within the last week. Add ten murder points.

So, with my chances of being murdered back at a higher level, I chose the chair right next to the door (subtract five murder points). Joe (the trainer) starts cooking dinner across the room in the kitchen. The door keeps making noises as if it's being opened (his accomplice, perhaps?), so he looks over his shoulder at me and asks me to throw the deadbolt on the door, at which point I was pretty sure my chances of being murdered were reaching 100%.

He's cooking chicken and cutting it up with this gigantic knife before he throws it in the pan, and as he's cooking he's telling me a story. For the sake of the story, at one point he walks over to me, knife in hand, and grabs one of my shoulders while gesturing with the knife in his other hand. At this point I legit thought about screaming and making a run for it...but clearly, he did not in fact murder me.

So I'm telling this story to my friend Heather the next day after she asks how it went and I tell her everything above, ending the story with "But luckily, he didn't murder me, and the chicken was pretty good."

Heather's response: "I'm unclear as to why you went alone to his apartment when you thought there was ANY chance, let alone a GOOD chance, that the night would end in your murder."

Things that make me awkward #324326

...when I'm sitting at my desk listening to music and I sneeze, but I can't hear if anyone says "Bless you" so in order to not be rude I just wait a few seconds then tentatively say "Thank you...?"

Pay it Forward

This afternoon I decided to leave the office and go to Chipotle to pick up lunch. To get out of the Chipotle parking lot, you basically have to risk your life and pull halfway into the road to see if there is oncoming traffic. Problem being, if there is, it is probably going to plow you down the road as soon as you can see it.

So I'm inching my car into traffic, trying to see if I can make it, and this kind pedestrian who is waiting to cross the street and can see around the parked cars that are obstructing my view holds his hand up to me to indicate that it isn't clear for me to pull out into traffic, and then once it is, waves me along.

I thought that was just the nicest thing. So just thought I'd share.


Oh, and then I ate a burrito the size of a baby and a bag of chips. Did you know that if you train for & run a marathon, it is NOT a guarantee that you will be marathon skinny for the rest of your life without working out ever?


So...remind me why I did that?

I'm dreaming...

Does the song "White Christmas" remind anyone else exclusively of the movie Home Alone?


Is anyone else already listening to Christmas music?








No?




Whatever. 

Spooky Scary!

As promised, Mugsy dressed up as a banana yesterday. There is photographic evidence.

Banana on the loose! I was cracking up pretty much the entire time I was walking him and he was dressed this way.

I think he was feeling insecure because not many other doggies in the park were wearing costumes. 

what did i do to you, lady?

Luckily, Ronin was on his side in his assless-chaps/glow in the dark skeleton costume. (Ronin spent the remainder of the night wriggling around and trying to bite the costume off of himself).

We all had a great time, but no one was handing out doggy treats when they walked around so we went home pretty quickly to prepare for the Baltimore trick or treaters, a ragtag group that wins the awards for worst trick or treating manners ever, as well as fewest actual costumes ever and most adults trick or treating!

This morning, we went to the vet to get their shots updated so that Ronin can join Mugsy at doggy daycare from now on. 

as you can tell, the dogs appear to be plotting their escape. Costumes + vet in 24 hours...they're pissed. 

Stuff and Things.

stuff: Chicken enchiladas - I made this recipe for dinner last night. And again, I didn't take pictures when it came out of the oven. Let's just pretend it looked like the picture. It actually didn't look that different (yay!) and it tasted great. 1 more in the Win column for me! I wanted to make a recipe that had more cheese & sour cream, but Jeremy was being reasonable (boring) and suggested that this "lighter" recipe might be a healthier idea (little does he know I doubled the cheese in the recipe).

I also doubled the chipotles in the recipe which made them quite spicy, but it was a good thing! That just meant that I had to put some sour cream on top of mine to cool them off a little bit, and really, when is sour cream a bad idea? Never.

So yes, this dish was quite easy + tasty, I recommend it! I also think that the amount of effort I put into this (I'd say a 3 on a scale of 1-10) was outweighed by the amount of tastiness I got out of it (I think a 7.5). And that's always a good thing.

and things: I read this blog (recommended to me by Molly Laufer originally) and if you don't read it, you should. Cely is the author and she is pretty and athletic and funny and smart. And she posted recently that she broke up with her long term boyfriend and that made me sad (like, strangely sad considering that I have never met her and we are not friends). So I commented on the post and said "this makes me really sad. if i were into girls i'd totally date you." then I went about my creepy way on my creepy day. And lo and behold - Cely responded to me! She wrote me an email and said "Thank you? haha" I was chatting with Lizzy and I said "I feel creepy now. Well...creepier." I'm happy Cely responded to me but I'm still sad about the circumstances. And I think the "I feel creepy...well, creepier" sentence pretty much defines my life.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Adventures in dinnerland

Last night, I made this recipe, found on Pinterest. I guess I could have taken a picture of them when they came out of the oven, but when I pull things out of the oven I pretty much just want to eat them ASAP.

This is what they look like on Pinterest:

Mini-pot pie goodness.

They're mini Chicken Pot Pies that you make in a muffin pan.

I bought these refrigerated biscuits to use in the recipe:

My apologies for the terrible picture quality...anyway, they're Pillsbury Simply... (seriously, that's the sub-brand) Buttermilk Biscuits. If you try this recipe, I recommend trying a flakier biscuit. I just bought it because it was the only can that said 10 biscuits (most said 8, annoying) and didn't say "artificial butter flavoring" on the front. Maybe I should have checked Whole Foods, but I didn't really think that far in advance. It turned out to be quite dense, and I like a flakier crust on my pot pies. 

The recipe called for Cream of Chicken soup...I'm not a huge fan of condensed soups, personally. To me, they just scream "PRESERVATIVES!" Granted, the Chips Ahoy & Reese's Peanut Butter cups I eat are probably screaming the same thing, but that noise is drowned out by the sound of me chewing. Anyway. Not a huge fan. 

So I followed the recipe but Jeremy cooked two chicken breasts i/o just one because we didn't think that 1 cup of chicken between the two of us was going to be enough. This meant that we had too much filling when it came time to put the mixture inside the cups...so I ended up just sort of piling it higher in the cups that were already full, which lead to an in-oven-meltdown during cooking. Whatevs. Messy still tastes good. Oh, and I also added some dried rosemary to the filling because rosemary makes everything better. 

Jeremy loved this meal - he ate 5 of the little cups. I only ate 2 because I had pounded some chipotle hummus & multi-grain pita chips before I started cooking (while watching Season 4 of Keeping up with the Kardashians, did you know it's on Netflix Instant now? Enjoy). I dunno. I liked it, but I don't know that I'll ever crave these. I said to Jeremy that I thought the taste directly reflected the amount of effort I'd put into making it - which was minimal. If you're looking for pot pies, I'd say just get the frozen Marie Callander version and chow down. 

New topic: 

Do any of you wear night creams? I use an under-eye moisturizer at night and when I use it, I wake up looking like I've slept for 20 hours (that's a good thing, I look refreshed). I want to apply that same logic to the rest of my face but I don't want to use something that will make me break out (I have naturally oily skin). Any recommendations?

Also, I'm watching Mugsy on the doggy day care webcam right now. First he was humping the same dog for approximately 25 minutes, then he resigned himself to simply leaning against the wall where the other dog was laying down and barking in his face incessantly. 

Why. 

Apple + Amex = love

On 10/14 I got an iPhone 4S, and I was happy. On 10/15 I ran an entire 26.2 miles carrying said iPhone without a case on it and did not drop said iPhone. 

On 10/19, everything changed. 

The morning of 10/19 was horrendous for many many reasons, but I'm not going to get into it beyond the details that relate to the story I'm trying to tell you. I took both of the dogs to daycare that morning, and getting those two in and out of the car together is like trying to herd cats...in a BMW. A BMW that you spent an hour cleaning recently. And cats with little impatient beagle paws who like to prance prance prance in muddy puddles and then jump in the drivers seat, then do a tap dance on the console, and then settle into the passenger seat, before being thrown bodily into the backseat where the doggy seat cover is.

See Suspect #1 on the right. Look at that face. He's plotting.

But I digress. 

Anyway, herding cats. We get to daycare and they're so excited that they jump out of the car really quickly, but as Ronin jumps out of the car he rips Mugsy's collar off his neck (they're connected to one another by a leash adaptor) and Mugsy frolics across the street, unhindered by a leash. I yell at Mugsy to come back and he sulkily comes back with his ears down and his tail between his legs. As I bend over to put Mugsy's collar back around his neck, my purse tilts and my lovely, dear iPhone slides out and, as if in slow motion, tumbles to the asphalt below. 

Where it shatters. Into a million little pieces. 

Seriously who makes the back of a phone out of glass anyway?

So I get the dogs situated and then proceed to the office where I complain for hours about my poor lovely phone being smashed...and then Jeremy reminds me that I purchased the phone with my Amex. And Amex cards have purchase protection against accidental damage or theft within 90 days after the purchase of the item. Cue the singing of angels. 

So I call Amex and file a claim...and they refund my money within 24 hours. But then the question is - where am I going to get another iPhone for the same price without signing another 2 year contract? Because I already renewed my contract to get THIS phone. So again, I am the sad. 

I make an appointment at the Apple store to see if they can repair the phone for less than what I paid for it, and then I sit and wait for two days until the appointment. 

We go to the Apple store on Friday with a plan of all the details I have to mention to make them pity me and fix my phone for free/less than a million dollars, but as it turns out...none of it was necessary. We walked in, they took me at my appointed time, and they fixed the phone free of charge within 10  minutes. 

So now, I am the happies again. 

And don't worry, I called Amex and told them to apply the charge back to my account since the phone had been repaired free of charge. 

Sooooo...you takes us outs now, yes?

I makes the foods!

So I found this recipe on Pinterest and I made it for dinner last night (well, I made it in the morning, let it cook all day in the Crock Pot, and then we ate it for dinner last night). This is the chicken that was mentioned in yesterday's post regarding the stabbing incident. But even with the stabbing incident, this dinner was a success! So yay, something even I couldn't mess up (haha)! I definitely recommend this recipe. It was super easy. I think it really comes down to the BBQ sauce that you choose. I just chose some bottled Annie's BBQ sauce from Whole Foods. I think I'd choose something different next time - maybe buy some from Red, Hot & Blue the next time I eat there - anyway, I'm rambling.

When we got home from work the chicken was definitely cooked through, so I set it down to "Warm" instead of "Low" until we were ready to eat, and I took two forks and shredded the chicken (it came apart very easily).

To go with the bbq chicken, I whipped up some drop biscuits with Bisquick mix (very easy...Bisquick mix, milk, and then I added cheddar cheese and crushed red pepper flakes, and finally sprinkled the biscuits with parmesan cheese before they went into the oven). Definitely grease the baking sheet though (the instructions lie) because otherwise they WILL stick to the pan.

Finally, I roasted some brussels sprouts and baby carrots in a 400* oven for about 30 minutes after tossing them with olive oil and balsamic vinaigrette. I put them in a casserole dish because it was close at hand, but if you try it I recommend letting them spread out a bit more so they get crispy (also ideally would have let them roast longer but J was hungry).

So I didn't mess up dinner last night! Yay!

Thanks to Lizzy and Molly for your recipe suggestions, keep 'em coming people! Any good cookbooks I should invest in....?

Help! (I need somebody)...

Listen up peeps.

I need some ideas regarding what to make for dinner. I always thought I was a good cook. I may need to revise that to a good baker who can cook 2 or 3 things relatively well. Because these are the things that have happened since I moved in with J and became the Chef for 2 people...

• roasted a chicken upside down (WHAT? It's hard to TELL. It's not like it comes with arrows). 
• made a chicken curry dish...and forgot the curry powder. 
• drowned some cornbread stuffing in milk, making it more of a cornbread stuffing pudding. 
• pulled a pork tenderloin out of the oven while it was still raw in the middle. 
• burned the SHIT out of some brown rice. 
• (this morning) went to put the frozen chicken breasts in the crock pot, then realized that the layer of material between the chicken and the styrofoam was frozen to the chicken breasts, spent approximately 15 minutes stabbing chicken breasts to get material off, at one point yelling out "AHHAJFJAJGHHHHH!" in frustration, prompting J to jump out of the shower and yell downstairs to make sure I was ok. 

So I'm batting about 0.100 right now in terms of successful dishes. And believe me, J could cook, but he gets home later than I do usually, plus I love to cook and my reputation is on the line, damnit! 

So please. Enlighten me as to what you make yourself for dinner that I will not mess up. 

Seriously. Please. 

Update: My friends are still the best

Yesterday when I got home from work I checked the mail and there was a very sweet card from my friend Molly Laufer (again, wish I could link to your blog but you don't update it...why haven't you started a new blog yet?! I forgot to grill you about that on Sunday...). Included in that card was a gift certificate to get my race bib made into coasters which I think is the COOLEST idea. I had been planning on doing it but Molly went ahead and gifted them to me which was so sweet and thoughtful! So thanks again for being amazing friends :) I don't know what I'd do without you, but I certainly wouldn't be running marathons.

Probably crying into vats of gooey brownie and kicking babies, which (let's be honest) sounds like something I might do on a random Tuesday...hmmm.

26.2

So I guess you're here to hear about the marathon?

Warning - this will likely be the longest post I ever write. So prepare yourself...but I promise that it will not take you as long to read it as it took me to run the marathon.

Full disclosure: My chip time was 5:33:58. I wanted to run it in 5 hours, but I knew pretty quickly that that time was out the window. So then I decided that I'd just focus on having a good time. I wasn't going to win the marathon, so why not just enjoy myself? I walked through water stops, I stopped to take pictures whenever I felt like it, I updated my facebook status, I responded to people's texts...it was great. For a while.

And then it got hard. (twss, sorry, had to).

It happened between mile 14 and 15. I was cruising along, having a great time when I passed the mile 14 marker. And then I hit 15 and I was like "eff. this. it. was. a. terrible. idea." But I told myself to just make it to 16 because I knew my friends Joel and Caroline were there, as well as Jeremy. So I made it to 16, and when I saw Jeremy I started crying (fantastic!) and from there on out it was just a killer.

I couldn't figure it out. When I ran 20 miles, I was fine. Did it suck? Yes. Was it hard? Hell yes. But was it anywhere near this hard? No. And does 6.2 miles of difference explain it? No. So I can't figure it out. What happened? I'm still not sure.

Here's a chart of each mile along with my split for that mile and the facebook update I posted - you can tell pretty easily when things completely fell apart and I started walking more than running:

You can definitely tell that I was fighting it - like, where did mile 18 come from? - but the marathon was winning. 

I think what bugs me most is that I don't know what happened. When I was training, I ran 20 miles in 3:53. I thought that the extra 6.2 would add on an hour and 15 minutes - at most - and it added on an hour and 40 minutes. I thought the adrenaline brought on by race day would help me through those last few miles...and it didn't. Honestly, if anything, I think that the adrenaline converted itself to soreness and settled in my muscles around mile 20 and refused to let go. It just felt like my body was closing in on itself. Like my muscles were so tight that I couldn't force them to move. I was like the tin man and I needed some oil! 

I ate what I normally eat. I stayed fueled. I hydrated so much that I was literally afraid I was going to pee my pants in the last 5 miles (I didn't, don't worry). I tried to stay around my target split and not go out too hard. But it still all came undone. 

One of the sadder parts was that I was so far towards the back of the pack that most spectators had left the course by the time I reached each part of it. By the time I reached 0.1 miles to the finish, a spot that last year was PACKED with people, there was literally no one left. Not exactly the finish you imagine in your head. I can't blame the spectators - it's hard to hang out when fewer and fewer runners are going by...but it was kind of sad. And the cops started letting cars/people cross in front of runners when there was space. Also kind of discouraging. 

ANYWAY. This is a super depressing post so far, and I get that, but it's time to turn it around and focus on the good parts. 

I ran a marathon. Well, I ran/walked/hobbled/limped/cried a marathon. It still hasn't really hit me. I'm saying the words, but it's like I don't understand what they mean. I survived a marathon. Maybe that's more apt. I really, really, really enjoyed the miles before I fell apart. They were great. Great weather, I was feeling good, etc. 

But most of all - 

I had amazing support from my family and friends. Amazing. Second to none. I was talking to Lizzy today and sort of had an "a-ha" moment because -- anyone can run a marathon. Seriously. You can do it. You can. If you train hard enough, long enough (or in my case, even if you don't), you can do it. Shhhh, stop saying you can't. You can. But not everyone has the friends and family that I have. You guys were amazing. I can't say it enough. 

I received texts from the following people during the race:

Katie Gerwin

Austin Kristoff

Christa Connelly

Karen Patterson

Jared Kaufman

Patrick Horvat

Paul Soper

Emily Facet

Cookie Johnson

Dave McCall

Josh Mallett

Kevin (my brother)

Kelly Cooper

Kevin Osborn

Heather (Hezzbot) Kryder

Molly Laufer

Elizabeth (Lizzy) Steel

Chase Maggiano

Jeremy (the boyfriend)

Meghan (my sister)

20 people. 20. 20 people took time out of their days to think about me and send me messages that I needed during the race. And I'm not talking about one text here or there. These people sent me multiple messages. Funny quotes. Funny pictures. Whatever they thought would keep me going. 

And these people commented on Facebook or Twitter:

Mary Schnack

Heather McKay Byrne

Chase Maggiano

Andrea Cilona

Molly Laufer

Aubree Jones

Dan Peters

Robert Duncan

Austin Kristoff

TC Power (my aunt)

Ashley Bowman

Gayle Schmith

Joel Bennink (who waited for me to pass by mile 16)

Brad Christmann

Anastasia Thermos Nietzel (my cousin)

Jeff Haid

Therese Power Barrett (my cousin)

Luis Archila

John Pfabe

Molly Buchanan Vaughn 

Rob Narvaez

Carman Fung

Katie Gerwin

Mike Brown

Sara Morgan

Michelle Kosterich

Julia Bottiny

Meg Foster

Jillian Hamilton

Erin McCaffery

Amber Lippold

Carron Griffin DeGrass

Kevin (my brother)

Jennene Lausier

Michael Perkey

Annie Coghill

Josh Mallett

Tera Duff

Brittany Saxe

Jean Stanislaw

Dan Laufer

Mario Ramirez

Kendra Sands 

Chicago (not the city....it's a person haha)

Jenn Botts Riley

Kelly Cooper

Heather Kryder

Gabi Gali 

Jen Carcich

49 people. I know, I know, Facebook is Facebook, it's not hard to click "Like" or leave a comment, but the effort expended compared to the impact it had on me was monumental. These people could just as easily have just breezed on by the (million) status updates I made and not said anything. But they took a few seconds and commented and it meant the world to me. 

My dad, brother, and sister came up to cheer me on, and brought a ridiculous balloon so I couldn't miss them:

They saw me between 13-14 and then again at the finish, where they took two of the most unflattering pictures ever:

Like, seriously if my mom tries to make that second picture our Christmas card this year, someone's getting cut (my mom. my mom will get cut). 

But what you REALLY need to see are the official race photos. There are at least two photos of me walking and texting. During a marathon. Which I think is hilarious. I have had some really shitty race photos of myself taken before and so this time I made an effort to smile & wave or throw thumbs up at the camera as I passed which actually was kind of nice & distracting...but it's funny how different I look from how I was feeling at the time each of these photos were taken. 

Back to how awesome my friends are:

Annie sent me an awesome rolling massager stick thing (hard to explain) that you use to rub down/roll out your muscles after runs and that thing is my new best friend. It is amazing and I love it. Lizzy sent me a bouquet of flowers that is shaped to look like a puppy (made out of white carnations, natch) that were just awesome. And yesterday I got to spend time with Molly Laufer because she was in town for a wedding, which was such an awesome treat. My prescription for marathon recovery: eating goat cheese dip & drinking Diet Cokes with Molly Laufer. Works every time. 

Now, on to some of the awesome texts I received during the race:

I think this exchange between myself and Annie really exemplifies how the race went for me:

8:45 am: 

annie: hi b! you're a rockstar!

me: thanks banoo!

9:45 am:

annie: nog! nog!

me: hahahaha!

11:19 am:

annie: go shawty, it's your birthday

me: :) 

11:49 am:

annie: cheers, cheers, to old chi o chi! you bring the whiskey, i'll bring the rye! 

me: i'll bring the murder weapons

12:36 pm:

annie: you are doing sooo great! for the rest of your life you can say you finished a marathon! :)

me: i'm losing it

annie: you are sooooo close! just one foot in front of the other. 

me: yeah.

1:12 pm: 

annie: (funny picture of us from before our 2nd half marathon together) YAY! almost there!

me: zero response because i was approximately dead at this point. 

Other awesome exchanges:

from Josh: I hear Mugsy is waiting at the finish line with Sticks

me: I hear you are MADE OF LIES. 

Jeremy: So close!

Me: AGHHHHBHHHH. (seriously. i included a period)

Lizzy: (with a picture from Reunions where Molly Laufer is CLEARLY SHOVING ME, CAUSING ME TO KNOCK DOWN A PHOTO BACKDROP) Watch out for Molly, she might try to push you over while you're running

Me: RIGHT?!? Jeez. 

Lizzy: Run as fast as you can, ole! (with a funny picture of the two of us)

Me: Dying. 

Meghan (my sister): Running through the ghetto now? How far are you?

Me: 21.6. Dying.

Meghan: You can do this! One step in front of the other!

Me: Am dead now. 

Molly Laufer: YOU DID IT!

Me: I have two miles left to go Smolls

Molly: YOU'RE DOING IT!

And there were many many more - those were just the funniest. 

So anyway. I ran a marathon. And it was hard. Harder than I expected it to be. But if nothing else, it taught me these important lessons:

1) Don't eff around with your training. Do your training, or the marathon will wreck you. 

2) I have amazing friends and family. You guys are the best. I can't express enough how amazing you are. It was hell - but it would have been way, way, way, way worse without all of you supporting me along the way. So all those great messages you've been sending me about how amazing & great it is that I ran a marathon? I'm sending them back to you about what great friends you are. 

Lips!

I'd been seeing the nude lips/smokey eyes combo in magazines a lot lately and I really wanted to try it for myself. I was at the Laura Mercier counter on Saturday buying a new tube of my favorite tinted moisturizer, so I asked if they had any matte nude lipsticks I could try. 

I ended up buying Barely Nude from their satin lip color, and I love it! It's so much easier applying nude lipsticks than the hot pink/dark red/bright reds I am used to - you don't have to line your lips and it doesn't have to be absolutely perfect. It really makes your eyes pop. I recommend trying it! 

Also - the satin lip color from Laura Mercier is making my lips feel better than even Chapstick does! Love! 

Yeah, so, I'm running a marathon on Saturday. Which means I'm trying not to drink caffeine this week. And I'm trying not to eat (the rest of) the Halloween candy that Jeremy and I are saving for the trick or treaters (that we may or may not get). 

ALSO in other news, Mugsy is going to be a banana for Halloween and Ronin is going to be a skeleton. You can expect many many hilarious pictures to come. 

I just have to run a marathon first. 

bridget e barry's photostream

bridget e barry's photostream on Flickr.

Pictures from this past weekend in Cali for Aaron & Amanda's wedding.

Going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali...

Jeremy and I went back out to California this past weekend for the wedding of his friends Aaron and Amanda. We flew out (very) early on Friday morning and back early Sunday afternoon. It was a great trip and totally worth the flights back and forth over the quick period of time.

It was really great to meet all of Jeremy's friends from college - most of the girls at the wedding were Chi Os (as was the bride). We were going to sing Shades but then...didn't. I'm not entirely sure what happened, I think since we didn't have a set time to do it it just sort of got pushed to the side and never happened. Jeremy and his fraternity brothers were supposed to sing the EX sweetheart song to Amanda as well, but that didn't happen either. I'm not entirely sure any of them remembered all the words. Incidentally I think I was the only XO there who knew all the words to Shades, which made me happy because then they had no choice but to include me ;-)

Friday night we attended the rehearsal dinner which was by a bonfire and was a great time. Super casual and celebratory. They had a "taco lady" who brought her cart to the bonfire and it was SO DELICIOUS. I wanted seconds but then I became intoxicated and forgot all about the tacos because they also had s'mores. Then after 2 s'mores I pulled a classic Drunk Bridget move and wandered off into the woods by myself, prompting Jeremy to send me to bed. After Jeremy left to go back out to say goodnight to his friends, I pulled a Stephanie Tanner and set up my bed in the bathtub. I think I did this because I was feeling ill and wanted to be sick in the bathroom if I was going to be sick, but I can't say that I didn't just want to live out a Full House moment in my drunkenness. Not sure.

Saturday we got to hang out with his friends some more before the wedding, then we went to the ceremony which was legit 5 minutes long (including the procession and recession). The men loved the brevity of the ceremony. After the ceremony was the cocktail hour then the reception and dancing. The food was AMAZING. Seriously some of the best chicken I've ever had in my life. It tasted like sausage. I'm not sure why. But it was great.

Sunday morning we had to get up and get out of town, but we still left time for a quick stop at In-n-Out burger before we departed (naturally).

I'll post pictures next - again, get ready for gratuitous shots of myself and Jeremy, just way too many of them, but what can I say I love pictures (even more when I'm drunk). There will also be lots of pictures of the resort/ranch where the wedding was. It was gorgeous and the wedding was also perfect. There were lavender fields on their property for the guests to explore - they harvest the lavender and sell it in products in their gift shop so everything smells wonderful. Lots of lizards and, randomly, bunnies on the property.

Anyway, remind me why I haven't moved to California yet?

Oh yeah, I'm running a marathon in less than two weeks. Cueeeee panic attack.

20 miles down, welcome to Tapertown.

I ran 20 miles yesterday.

I never thought I'd say (type?) that sentence.

There was a sponsored course training run starting a block and a half from our house at 7 am  which was perfect. They provided maps for people running 10, 16, and 20 miles, and you could then tailor the course to match exactly the distance you wanted to do. My training plan (which you all know I've been following so closely) called for 20, so I went with the longest distance. There were about 500 people who showed up for the training run, which was awesome because I didn't have to look at my map too many times because I could just follow the runners in front of me.

I was terrified before the run started - I thought I was going to get left behind and be the slowest runner on the course. I was definitely one of the slower runners on the course, but not the slowest, which made me feel better. I don't mean to make it sound like I am happy simply because there are other people who are slower than I am - it needs to be about me and my race, I don't need to be worried about other runners - but I guess I was just really scared that if I didn't have other people around me, I'd panic and turn around and go home. Being surrounded by other runners the whole time, especially other runners around my speed, really helped motivate me to keep going.

We ran on the course of the marathon (which is now less than 3 weeks away), so we started at the park near our house and ran north, essentially taking an extended tour of the Baltimore ghetto, then ran around Lake Montebello, over to Druid Hill Park (which is where the rapper Dru Hill got his name because he's from that area), back south around the harbor, over to UA's headquarters, then back through the harbor again and home.

Here are my splits by mile (disclaimer again, I am still slow):
1- 11:37
2- 10:58
3- 11:41
4- 11:58
5- 11:24
6- 12:39 (This was actually 1.1 miles, I forgot to press the lap button)
7- 11:05 (hence this one was 0.9 miles)
8- 12:19 (no excuse, this one was just slow)
9- 11:50
10- 11:29
11- 12:10
12- 11:22
13- 11:53
14- 11:24
15- 11:21
16- 11:32
17- 11:46
18- 11:30
19- 12:02
20- 11:31

There were a bunch of water stops on the course, and they also provided gels. This was a total lifesaver - I don't know if I could have made it through 20 miles without the support on the course. We even got cheers from random passerby! :)

So obviously my splits were all over the place - but I was happy that most of them stayed between 11:30 and 12:00 which is kind of where my goal is settling right now. A lot of times when I looked down at my watch during the run, my splits were too low - I was running faster than I meant to and was afraid I was going to burn out - so I had to keep slowing myself down. I didn't stop to walk at any point, but in the second half of the run we had to stop very often at stoplights, intersections, etc, so that really slowed things down.

My thoughts on the run:

• It was hard, but not as hard as I thought it was going to be. 
• My knees hurt a lot more than they have in the past, along with the ball of my right foot. This would usually indicate to me that I need new shoes, but the shoes I was running in are not old enough to indicate that I need new ones (they were purchased within the last 6 months and I know I have not run 500 miles in them). Also, I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to break in new shoes sufficiently in the next 3 weeks while I'm tapering in order for them to be ready for the marathon. 
• I kept drinking even when I wasn't thirsty to try to stay hydrated - and I hydrated out of control on Friday - and I felt good, but I still wasn't sweating as much as I should have been. Often I felt my face caked with salt and I'd have to splash water in my face to wash it off. I'm not sure why I wasn't sweating more - any ideas, friends? 
• I ate an entire pack of Shot Bloks along with 1 pack of Gu and 1 "PowerBar Gel" that was provided on the course - notes on these: Gu in "Chocolate Outrage" flavor tastes EXACTLY LIKE GOOEY BROWNIE. The texture is even pretty much the same. I will be buying 40 of these. The PowerBar Gel in Vanilla tastes like lemon ass. And I hate it. But I needed calories, I had to eat it. It also doesn't have caffeine and I have decided that I need my calorie sources to have caffeine to really get me going. 
• Yesterday after the run blew. I got some Chipotle and put on comfy clothes and basically laid either on the couch or in bed for the rest of the day. I feel much better today but my legs are fatiguing easily as I walk up and down the stairs in the house. 

So that's all I've got for now. I am just so relieved that I made it through the 20 mile run. It's all Tapertown from here! That was the longest run I will do in my training - everything else should be easier for the next 3 weeks until the race (fingers crossed). This run was just really important for me mentally - understanding that I can actually do this. And I think the additional adrenaline that will come on race day will help me make it through those last 6.2 miles (Molly Laufer? Yes?). 

Ok. So here we go. 

Inspiration

I love Nicki Minaj. Do you listen to her music? I heart her. Lizzy, don't listen to her, you won't like it and you'll accuse me of assaulting your ears with my dirty dirty rap songs again.

Anyway, she has a song called "Moment 4 Life" which you may or may not have heard on the radio, but anyway, if you haven't, look it up on Spotify (if you're not on Spotify, GET ON SPOTIFY) and listen - because I've decided that it's my inspiration for this marathon because of the lines:

"I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, because in this moment I feel so alive"

and, even more so:

"I'm really tryin' to make it more than what it is, Because everybody dies but not everybody lives,"

That's kind of how I feel lately. Make some mistakes. Do stupid things. You only live once.

I mean, you know.

So I did that 3h 20m run not this past Saturday but the Saturday before. Then last Friday I spent the whole day moving, so when Saturday came around I was already sore and exhausted and I was like "Eff no, I will not be running for hours today."

Sunday Jeremy and I went to King's Dominion with his parents which was an awesome time. We rode almost all the roller coasters in the park. Some were having technical difficulties so we couldn't ride, which made me sad. There is one roller coaster there now called the Intimidator - the first hill is 305' in the air and you drop at an 85* angle, reaching speeds of up to 94 mph.

When you come out of the first drop you almost black out - no joke. Your vision starts to go. I don't quite understand how this is safe. As we were climbing the first hill I kept repeating "I don't understand why I thought this was a good idea."

Anyway, see the ridiculousness to the left.

So we spent hours at the park and then drove home, and let me tell you, I have never felt so old. I felt so beat up by the roller coasters and all the walking and the moving that by the end of the day on Sunday I was just absolutely exhausted.

I felt like all that physical activity made up for the fact that I didn't run (right?).

I've spent most of this week after work doing laundry, cooking (I'm totally domestic now), and taking care of the dogs. On Tuesday night Jeremy and I got to see the Capitals play in the Baltimore Hockey Classic - it was cool to get to go only a couple of miles to see an NHL game, but it was disappointing because the Caps lost and the 1st Mariner Bank arena is just a sad, sad venue. Super creepy and small and sad. I won't be itching to go there again anytime soon.

So anyway last night I decided it was time for a run - I got home, walked the dogs, then went out for a quick trot around the park. I ended up running a little bit over 3 miles, and it was tough. I usually loosen up after 1 mile so I kept telling myself it would be better after I finished the first mile, but the improvement wasn't really quite as good as I had hoped. I pushed myself to finish the rest of the run - and by pushed myself I mean just kept running - not quickly or anything.

So now I'm facing a 20 mile course run on Saturday. The great thing is that it's a "sponsored course run" meaning that hundreds of people who are participating in the race next month are meeting up at a park that is 1.5 blocks from our house, and we're all going to run the course together for however long we need to to complete our training run. They'll have water, gels, etc to give us, but I do still plan on bringing my fuel belt.

I'm really scared that I'm going to get left behind because I'm so slow. :-/

I'll report back.

Blogging with the enemy

My friend Molly (whose blog I would link to but she hasn't posted in over a year and hasn't started a new blog why molly why? why? WHY? I demand to know) was kind enough to send me the below quotes because she knew I could probably use a mental boost in these, my final weeks of training for the marathon.

And by training for the marathon, I mean stressing for the marathon.

So here you go (oh, and the enemy thing is because they're both Nike ads, and we all know that the boys in Portland are the enemies, yes? Yes, Protect This House I Will, etc. ):

"You pretended the snooze button didn't exist. You dragged your butt out of bed while others slept. While others ate their pancakes you had a feast of protein, glucose and electrolytes. You double-knotted. You left the porch light on and locked the door behind you. You ran 5Ks, 10Ks, 26.2 miles. Some days more, some days less. You rewarded a long run with a short run. And a short run with a long run. Rain tried to slow you. Sun tried to microwave you. Snow made you feel like a warrior. You cramped. You bonked. You paid no mind to comfort. On weekends. On holidays. You made excuses to keep going. Questioned yourself. Played mind games. Put your heart before your knees. Listened to your breathing. Sweat sunscreen into your eyes. Worked on your farmer's tan. You hit the wall. You went through it. You decided to be man about it. You decided to be woman about it. Finished what you started. Proved what you were made of. Just kept putting mile after mile on your internal odometer. For 25 years, you ran. And we ran with you. How much farther will we go? As far as you will."


And #2:

"All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you're not good enough or strong enough; they will say you're the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO, a thousand times no, until all the nos become meaningless. All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very quickly. And you will tell them Yes."

But who's the chick and who's the duck?

When you sleep with two dogs, it's hard to really say when you first wake up in the morning. Do you remember that episode of Friends (I know you do, Lizzy) where they're playing the trivia game and this happens:

Monica: I got it! How about, if we win, they have to get rid of the rooster?

Rachel: Oooohh that’s interesting.

Joey: Hey, no way, that rooster’s family!

Rachel: Throw in the duck too!

Joey: What do you have against the duck?! He doesn’t make any noise!

Rachel: Well, he gets the other one all riled up.

That's how it is with the two dogs. Mugsy is a little jerk. He's 40+ lbs of muscle and lacks subtlety entirely. He spends his mornings rocketing on and off of the bed until I can't take it anymore and I get up to give him breakfast and walk him. Ronin is very very sweet, a wee beagle (wee-gle) of only 25 lbs. You can definitely tell which of them is standing on you at any given time. Even though Ronin tries really hard to be sweet and not get into trouble, Mugsy gets him all riled up, which means that I'm never entirely sure when I first wake up in the morning...I just know when I can't take it any longer and I get out of bed, resigned to the fact that it's a losing battle with those two. 

So that's how my day started yesterday, but it was good because it meant that I went outside early enough to realize how great the weather would be for my long run. I was all geared up and on the road by 10 am, but strangely my Garmin was flashing "low battery" signs at me as soon as I turned it on. But wait - didn't I charge it before I left for San Diego? I thought so. I left it plugged into the socket and assumed it was charged after a few hours - what I didn't realize is that no electricity was coming through said socket. 

Sigh. 

So it lasted for a few miles, but died shortly after I crossed into my 3rd mile. This meant I was winging it from there on out - approximating how far I'd run based on routes I'd run before and the time I was out there. 

The run was alright. The weather was wonderful - misty and about 70* for the first couple of hours. The sun came out around noon which was rude. I really did not appreciate it shining in my face, but honestly after so many runs in 80 - 90* weather, I took it. My body was...what's the right word for this...resigned to the run? That's really the best way I can describe it.

I had my first Gu yesterday, I tried vanilla bean flavor on the recommendation of a friend, and it wasn't bad! I was expecting to be totally grossed out by the texture & flavor, but honestly if I'd closed my eyes I would have believed it was just vanilla pudding. When your eyes are open you notice that the Gu is actually kind of an opaque gel which confuses your brain and starts up the "uh-oh, is this disgusting?" warnings. But anyway, it wasn't hard to get down, and it got 100 calories in my body quickly and effectively. So I think I'll buy some more, maybe try some other flavors. Other runner friends - any flavor recommendations for me? 

for noodle.

Annie please note I'm making an effort to include more pictures specifically for you, even if they're just pictures of Gu. 

Moving on - I thought about 9/11 a lot as I ran yesterday. Every time I tried to get whiny with myself I was like you shut the hell up, you're alive and well and you get to choose to spend your mornings running. There are a lot of people who don't get to make that choice anymore, so you can just calm down and be quiet. I ran by a 9/11 Memorial Dedication ceremony in the Inner Harbor. They had pieces from the World Trade Center buildings in NYC - you know, those twisted beams of steel that you see - and that was quite sobering. Then as I was running through Federal Hill towards the end of my run (I went that way specifically to see all the drunken idiots because the first Ravens home game was about to start, and Fed Hill is insane on Ravens game days), I got to run right under a fighter jet flyover as it was on its way to the stadium. Nothing makes you want to simultaneously cry and/or pee your pants more than fighter jets flying over your head in formation when you've been running for literally hours. 

Molly I know Kenny doesn't fly that type of plane (right?) but if you could ask him to do so and then just keep zipping over the marathon course for me that would be really helpful ok thanks bye. 

SO WHATEVS, when I thought I'd run for long enough I went back home and checked the time - I'd been out for about 3 hours and 20 minutes. My last really long run - the 15 miler - was about 2h 50m I think, so I thought that I must have reached my distance goal yesterday, even though I didn't have my Garmin to confirm. 

I've mapped the run twice and both times it's told me that I ran less than 15 miles. How that happened I have no idea. Did I black out at some point and take a nap in the middle of the street for 30 minutes? Did I run in place for a while? WTF. I did walk sometimes because I was in a lot of pain (WTF, toes? What did I do to you?), but I don't think I walked THAT much. So I'm not sure. Someone's lying here, and it's either the Garmin or MapMyRun.com. 

Over the course of the run I drank a ton of water (refilled all 4 bottles on my belt twice), ate almost 2 entire packs of Shot Blocks (Lemon-Lime and Tropical Punch flavors, my fave) and the 1 Gu mentioned above. When I got back I walked the pup, stretched, took a short ice bath followed by a warm shower, and then ordered a large pizza and ate half of it (the other half was dinner, don't hate). I wanted to wear my compression tights to see if they'd help my legs recover more quickly than normal, but the tights were at Jeremy's so I was out of luck. I wore jeggings instead. Pretty sure that's almost the same thing. 

So, what hurts today:

• My ego 
• My toes
• My back 

I think I need to do a better job of maintaining perspective - I keep saying I "only" ran 15 miles yesterday. That's still 15 miles. Which is further than I could run a few months ago. 

So yeah. A month and a few days to go.