Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
There are currently 4 crushed soda cans sitting on my desk. 3 Diet Cokes, 1 Coke Zero. They have been accumulating there over the course of 4 work days. You'd think that I'd walk them over to the recycling thing on one of my numerous daily trips to the water dispenser, but no. I think their presence calms me. They're like a little support group that congregates daily to cheer me on.
I FREQUENTLY attempt to use body language to communicate with people who cannot see me...for example: shrugging at my computer while writing an e-mail, nodding or shaking my head while on the phone...and I bet you do it too. Think about it for a day. You'll catch yourself doing it...trying to communicate something to people who cannot see, and therefore benefit from, your attempt - which leads me to this question:
When you're at Disney World posing for photos with the...
(pause for 5 minute discussion among people in my department about the word I'm about to use and whether or not it's the most appropriate)
...characters (mascots? what the hell are they called?) who are like, in a full on suit (head and all) - do you think they smile for the pictures inside their character heads?
I think they do.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Gooey Butter Cake (that is its full name...Gooey Cake or Gooey for short) is a treat that is popular in the Midwest - my family picked it up in St Louis. My mom made it for us when we were little but I didn't remember/pick it back up until college. I started making it for friends in college and continued on making it at my first job. I thought that people out here in Columbus would have heard of the greatness that is Gooey before I came around, but apparently it's really not all that widely known outside of St. Louis. Gooey butter cake tastes like nothing else. It's not like yellow cake, it's not like coffee cake. It's like happiness in cake form. It seriously just tastes like sweet butter. I wish I could describe it better...but you really have to taste it for yourself.
Given that the recipe is currently printed on the side of the Kroger brand cream cheese box, I'm not going to be shy about sharing the recipe...so pls see below:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees...pull out a 9" x 13" pan (no need to grease since there is so much butter in the cake)
1 stick of butter (melted)
1 8 oz brick of cream cheese (softened)
1 box of butter cake mix (I recommend Duncan Hines)
1 lb of powdered sugar
Mix together melted butter, 1 egg, and cake mix. Once all of the cake mix is moistened, press into the bottom of the pan (I recommend turning out the dough, covering it with plastic wrap, and using your hands to press it uniformly into the pan - much easier than trying to use a spatula).
Mix together softened cream cheese, remaining 2 eggs, and 1 lb of powdered sugar (reserve a couple of tablespoons to sprinkle on top of the cake). The ingredients will form a thick liquid. Once all the ingredients are combined, pour over the top of the dough that has been pressed into the bottom of the pan.
Bake for 30-35 minutes, until top is golden brown and puffy. Sprinkle with reserved powdered sugar.
Devour, and/or fend off hoards of people with forks trying to steal your cake.
Today I brought a gooey cake to work for a friend's birthday. I saved a piece to the side for a friend on my desk, and while it was sitting there, a guy from my design team came over and was talking to me about some comments...the conversation went like this:
Brian: Ok so I think we're going to get out these (stops short and grabs my wrist in a vice) IS THAT GOOEY BUTTER CAKE?
Me: Ummm...yes? Do you like gooey cake?
Brian: SHUT UP. SHUT UP.
Me: Are you from St. Louis??
Brian: I'm from Springfield!!
Me: GO TO THE CONFERENCE ROOM RIGHT NOW AND GET SOME.
So Brian goes into the conference room and gets some gooey cake and bites into it and says "This tastes like childhood...and love." And then he turns to me and says "Don't you love it when you like someone a lot...and then something happens and you LOVE them?"
Gooey = love.
Monday, May 11, 2009
Whenever you're feeling like maybe you're having the worst day EVER, check that website out. It may not make you any happier about YOUR life, but it will damn well make you happy you don't have THEIR lives.
I had about a 10 on the scale of 1-shitty day at work today (I'm not even going to get into it because my job is not my life...please remind me of that next time I am tempted to put my fist through a wall). After work I went to dinner with a very good friend (please slap me if I ever say fml about my friends because they are the best) and then ran to the grocery store to get the ingredients to make a gooey cake (we'll get to gooey cake in a later post). I came home and started making the gooey cake, promptly spilling powdered sugar all over my stovetop, shirt, shorts, and shoes. fml.
I then sat down on the couch to watch television and spilled water down my shirt. Not like, down the front of my shirt, which would have blown just enough on its own, but down the neck of my shirt and into my bra.
Oh - and in case you were wondering - yes, I AM feeling stabby and screamy today (see below).
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
- I wish I used the words "stabby" and "screamy" more. Pls reference Jenn Lancaster's blog (www.jennsylvania.com) to see how the words should be used - but in general it would be appropriate to say "I'm feeling stabby" or "I'm feeling screamy" if you were angry/sassy. This amuses me as I am always looking for new ways to convey my irritation to others.
- I also wish I said "You shut your mouth" more. I really don't think that I ever will because it would be a clear ripoff of one of my friends (Kelly) and it is really only quite so funny coming out of her mouth given her generally carefree/chill demeanor. I'm not quite sure I could pull off carefree and chill as well as Kelly does...and the brilliance/humor of this phrase lies in the contradiction between personality and message.
Other random life updates:
Earlier this week my manager asked me to get a sample of something for her and I asked in response, "Does size matter?" Then I laughed and said "Isn't that the eternal question?" and ran away snickering to retrieve the sample.
I went to a concert last night and experienced one of those transcendent moments where you hope with all your heart that the memory will be burned into your mind forever - like it will be one of the scenes that flashes before your eyes in your last moments. It was a beautiful night in Columbus (you won't hear me say that often) - somewhere around 70 degrees. The Killers were playing and they closed on "All these things that I have done" - and at one point in the song they shot off white confetti into the crowd. Everyone was jumping up and down and dancing and just generally being insane and it was one of those moments that you imagine would be in slow motion if your life were a movie. Looking up into the sky you saw the stars mixed with the confetti, you saw the crowd going crazy, you saw the Killers rocking out onstage... and it was awesome. I distinctly thought to myself "This is what 25 is about."
In case you're wondering, 24 was about dancing like a crazy person to Girltalk onstage at the company holiday party.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
I went to a party tonight, and there was a baby present. Not like, a tiny tiny gift, but rather a baby who was in attendance. So, again, it was brought to light just how good babies have it. They are the center of attention at all times. They do whatever they want. They roll around on the carpet and people bring them toys. They are allowed to cry for no particular reason. They get to wear footy pajamas and suck on pacifiers. So, what I want to know is this - we're adults. We run the world. Why do we let the babies get away with all the fun? Who decided that?
Also present at the party was my friend Brittany's parent's dog, Guinness. She is only 2 years old and is still wearing a shock collar in case she misbehaves. At one point in the night, she put her front paws on the kitchen table and tried to steal a brownie....a few minutes later Brittany came back into the room and said "It's ok. I shocked her then I put her in my bed."
That's what he said.
Saturday, May 02, 2009
And apparently, what I want today is three loads of laundry along with cleaning my kitchen and bathroom and vacuuming my whole apartment (I do kind of love vacuuming but that's a separate story). Speaking of, why are there two u's in the word vacuum? I mean...is that really necessary?
So recently I must have pulled some obscure muscle in my back that is somehow connected to my leg...because whenever I bend at the waist it feels really tight. It's been going on for a few weeks but I've been generally ignoring it and hoping it goes away...but today as I was sorting laundry I bent over to pick something up and my back hurt. I mumbled (out loud, to myself in my empty apartment) "I'm not entirely sure what's going on back there, but it hurts."
Then, as is my reflex, I said "Heh. That's what she said."
I'm not quite sure whether to like myself more or less for that.
Oh and by the way I saw Britney Spears on Thursday night and I officially want to quit my job and pursue my new dream of BEING HER (without the babies and the crazy). When she came out of the ceiling dressed like a ring master, I screamed like a 10 year old girl. That girl is an icon. Say what you want about her (as she says in If You Seek Amy, the song that has caused plenty of controversy but which she performed nonetheless on Thursday night, to my UTTER DELIGHT), but she knows what game she's playing and she's the best one playing it.
This is the video played on stage before she came out to close with Womanizer. If this doesn't make you want to join me in my quest to be her, I don't know what will:
Friday, May 01, 2009
- My office is made up of numerous buildings, laid out like a college campus. I was walking to the cafeteria today (about a 3 minute walk), and as I left my building it was cloudy. By the time I arrived at the cafeteria, it was raining. So as I left the cafeteria to walk back to my building, I walked through another building to stay out of the ran as much as possible. I ran from one building to another through the rain, and then stopped for roughly 3 minutes to talk to a friend as I passed his desk. By the time I left his building, it was so sunny that I considered reaching up and pushing my sunglasses down from my hair to the bridge of my nose. Ah, Columbus weather. Within a roughly 20 minute span, we went from partly cloudy to drizzling (that's kind of a sweet word) to legitimate rain (like, dashing from building to building kind of rain) back to blinding sun. Cool.
- I'm wearing really low slung jeans today. Technically they're just a size too big, but I'm wearing them across my hips with about a 1" dropped crotch, and as I walked back from the cafeteria, the jeans were inching themselves lower and lower, and I was like "I wonder if this is what men feel like all the time."