Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Feeling some Jason Mraz this afternoon

Check these two out:
1) Running live at Java Joe's

2) After an Afternoon live at Java Joe's

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Strike that, reverse it

So after Sirius Black I moved on to Padfoot (Paddy for short) and then last night I think I arrived at the final name...I think this pup is meant to be called Mugsy Bones.

What do you think??

Monday, November 08, 2010

I am a bad blogger

But I finally have news worth blogging about...

I adopted a puppy last week! Long story (will post more later + more pictures) but I think I am going to call him Sirius Black. He's about 5 months old.

Wednesday, September 08, 2010

more sick music.

yeah that's right, i said sick and i wasn't being ironic.

you can listen to this while you train for this.

disney princess half marathon. february 2011. DO IT.

or just listen to the music and then come and cheer us on (and by us i only mean me so far, but i'm trying to convince noodle and the mollys, and whoever else will let me convince them, i just figured i'd start with the usual half marathon suspects. i just accidentally typed shuspects and it made me giggle because i thought of "can i have a schmample?").

so who else is coming?

**UPDATED** - paul sent me the music link. paul always sends me the music links. if there is ever a reference to anything on my blog that is pop culture related, it likely came from paul.

that said, paul, you should have been so excited that i'm trying to run a disney race that you would overlook that i missed your h/t.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I've been meaning to tell you about these...

Have you ever had Sister Schubert's rolls before? You get them in the freezer section of your grocery store and they come in a plastic resealable bag (that's one of the options) so you can just take out however many you need and pop them in the oven.

They're delish. Check them out.

Also, when (not if) you come visit me in Baltimore, you will have to try:
1) Berger Cookies (thanks Paul for the suggestion and thanks Katie for buying them for me). Vanilla cookie base with a THICK layer of fudge on top. And I'm not talking about "fudge." I'm talking about FUDGE. For real.

2) Fried Oreos at Stuggy's in Fell's Point. Oreos, dipped in funnel cake batter, fried. Yes.

Do you guys have any favorite products you can get at the grocery store that you'd like to share? Trader Joe's? Whole Foods? Safeway? Giant? I don't think we have Kroger in B'more. I particularly love hearing about store-brand substitutes that are just as good as the more expensive stuff.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Carter sighting!

Just in case you missed my plug of her blog the first time, my friend Carter from UVA (COMM 06) has a blog called The Kitchenette that is just awesome. And recently her blog was mentioned on the Food Network website! How cool is that? Here it is again.

So, this basically means that Bobby Flay and I are married. Pretty sure.

Noodle sighting?

So I have been reading Vogue all day at work (it counts, I work in fashion...kind of) and there's this DKNY ad that I keep seeing and it keeps striking me how much this girl in the ad looks like my friend Annie (Noodle). For those of you who know Annie and care, check this site out, I couldn't get a screen shot to show you because it's like, a slideshow of images, but I'm hoping you'll see immediately which girl I'm talking about. Noodle do you work for DKNY as a model now?!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Again my friends come through in a clutch

Owl websites.

This one courtesy of Meghan Barr.

Way to go, Meghan Barr. You win.

Also, watch this. (harvard sailing team boys will be girls)

And these. (verymarykate)

you're welcome.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Have you read this?

What's up with the twentysomethings?
Please do so.

My favorite thing in this article:

The word pluripotent, which means:

plu·rip·o·tent definition

Pronunciation: /pl -ˈrip-ət-ənt/
Function: adj
1 : not fixed as to developmental potentialities

Makes ya think.

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Third time's the charm...

Final post of the day:
1) I just realized that Step Up, the dance movie with my husband Channing Tatum, was filmed in Baltimore! Or rather, set in Baltimore, I haven't been watching closely enough to see if it was filmed here. But really, I think it's a sign. Of what, not entirely sure. But a sign nonetheless. One funny thing is that Channing Tatum's character is meant to live in a bad part of town, but he lives in Hampden, which, I don't know, maybe that was the ghetto before, but now it's a quirky area where young people live.

2) Molly Laufer, obviously our shared affinity for Fountain Diet Coke + Root Beer + Lemons is another sign that we were meant to get maui'd. Please advise if you will still be visiting home on Sept 29th because that is on my calendar! And in case you won't be able to get on the internet tomorrow when you move back onboard, Happy Birthday! Love you!

3) I went for a run when I came home from work even though it was 90* outside (I ran in the shade to try to minimize the heat and carried a bottle of cold water with me) and then came home, stretched, and took a cool shower. It has been an hour and 15 minutes since I came home and my body is still drenched in a cold sweat. Uncool.

This is going to be a problem

Did I mention that UA has free fountain Diet Coke? And they also have root beer "on tap" so I can make my favorite combination of all time, Diet Coke + Root Beer + Lemons?

Yeah. About that.

Quick update

Michael Phelps lives in my building. Unfortunately I did not learn this by spotting him, I learned it from another PLM (that's what I am)...hmmm. Stalking will ensue.

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Good morning, Baltimore

Hello, sorry I haven't posted in a while but as you may have guessed things have been a little bit crazy.

My last day at A&F was July 16th. I just had my exit interview that day which was impersonal (I sat in front of a computer and filled out a survey) and caused me to go a little bit nuts in my opinions (I had intended to be reserved and polite)...I
literally typed the sentence "I believe [so and so] personifies everything that is wrong with this company." I hoped they liked that one.

That evening I had a goodbye bar night at a restaurant downtown called The Little Palace because I am a Princess, clearly. There were many handsome men there. My friend Michelle from my running group was nice enough to come, and she spent the first five minutes commenting on how everyone at A&F was attractive (everyone at my party, at least)
...I guess I hadn't really noticed. We'll see how it compares to UA.
It was really nice and really fun, even though it was bittersweet. The shitty part of the night was that I got my first speeding ticket driving home :-( Believe me, I deserved it, if not for that night then for the past 10 years when I have willfully and gleefully driven recklessly and ticket-free, but it just pissed me off that it was the first time that I got pulled over ever and he gave me the ticket. UNCOOL, OFFICER DOUCHEBAG. That meant that I had to go to court this past Monday to contest the points being applied to my ticket (I didn't contest that I was guilty and deserved to pay the fee, but I contested that I should get points). Lucky for me, they reduced my speed by 21 mph to get me within 5 mph of the speed limit (yeah, I said I deserved it) and gave me no points on my license. Phew. And yes, if you're wondering, I've stopped speeding. Quite as much.

So then the next day I went skydiving with John! I'd always wanted to go, and one day a "Groupon" landed in our e-mail inboxes for 50% off skydiving, so John called and said he wanted to go and we bought the Groupons! So then I knew I had to go within the next year...but we never really planned when we'd go. Once I found out I was leaving Columbus on the 26th, I knew I had to jump out of a plane prior...so we booked our appointments and drove 2 hours away to Middletown, Ohio. We waited quite a while once we arrived and got more and more excited...and then it was our turn and we got all geared up and went up in the air! And what goes up must come down....

I know Lizzy has done it, I don't know if any of the rest of you have...I know Annie hasn't...anyway if you haven't and you're open to it, I HIGHLY recommend that you do it someday. It was an awesome experience, unlike anything else I've ever done in my life. When you're in freefall it really just feels like you're standing outside on a windy day, and then when your chute is opened, it's just like floating down towards the Earth on an amusement park ride or something. Totally awesome. Plus, being strapped to a big burly dude isn't so bad!

After skydiving I spent the next week trying to forget what it was like to work at A&F, reading Grisham novels by the pool, meeting up with people to say bye one last time (I think John was the hardest. We both cried. He said "Why is everyone leaving me?" like the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding) and having panic attacks regarding the move.

Eventually moving day came. The packers arrived promptly at 7 am on Monday and were all done with my apartment by 12:30. My mom and I finished up in the apartment, got some lunch, packed the cars, and were on the road to B'more by 4. I arrived here around 11:30 that night and moved into my temporary housing (see Facebook for pictures, they're too boring to repost here). My mom chose to drive south to McLean instead so that we didn't have to unpack her car that night, and she met me back in B'more the next day.

So, drawing from an e-mail I sent Lizzy earlier this week:
I am living in Fells Point. (please see map for your reference). I have put the little walking guy exactly where I am living - I'm right at the end of the pier. Over down by Boston Street is the area called Canton. It has the Safeway and the local library so I have been there a couple of times. Then down by Light Street on the left side of the map, that's Federal Hill. We went there for lunch today. I am going to work in Locust Point (bottom right) Do you see in the bottom of the red circle where those streets kind of form an "H"? That's where Under Armour is. If I want, I can take a free "Water taxi" from fells point directly across the harbor over to where Under Armour is! It's pretty cool. Otherwise I have to drive all the way around the harbor which would take like 20-30 minutes. I think so far I like Fells Point the most -- young people live in Fells Point, Canton, and Federal Hill, so I'll look at all of them, but I like Fells Point so far. Lots of shops and places to eat. Lots of places to walk, too.

SO. That is life right now. I start work on Monday. I'm pretty nervous. I would like you all to come visit as soon as possible. Please. Thanks.

ALSO - Smolls (and anyone else, if they happen to have information that falls into the following categories) -- where are your favorite restaurants in B'more? Where should I be checking out? Would any of your friends here be willing to share some of the same information with me and not think I'm a creep? xoxoxo

Thursday, July 15, 2010

my own personal version of fail blog

this what i saw in the A&F parking lot this morning.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I am feeling a little dramatic

so I am listening to The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert on repeat as I prepare for my move back to the East Coast. See lyrics here.


owls being cute


thanks to el senor soper.

Tuesday, July 06, 2010


This is what has happened so far today.

I was supposed to be arriving in guatemala in about an hour. Our flight from columbus to houston was delayed an hour. We then took off and got rerouted to memphis where we got more fuel. We missed our connection in houston by 15 minutes.

So then we arrive in houston and one of the designers I'm traveling with says she thinks she has broken her foot. Since we now have 7 hours until our flight, we get a cab to the hospitalN but since our cabbie doesn't know where the hospital is, he decides to take us to an office complex instead. 50 bucks later, we make it to the emergency room where I am currently blogging on my work blackberry from the waiting room.

Less than awesome.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

What if...

I recreationally wore an eye patch in order to isolate each eye one at a time and make each eye individually stronger?

It would be this one:

Friday, June 18, 2010

Note to self

Must stop screaming obscenities at fellow drivers/pedestrians while driving. You drive a convertible now. They can most likely hear you.


Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Dry shampoo = new favorite thing

I read about Umberto Dry Clean dry shampoo in Real Simple recently and decided to get it. I used to wash my hair at least 6 times/week (I work out 6 times/week) but then I realized that it was really weakening my hair...so I bought this "Dry shampoo" at Target ($8.99) and I have been using it for the past week or so, and I really like it!

I used to put baby powder in my hair when it was getting a little oily at the roots but I never really felt like that worked all that well. This stuff really works - it adds texture and volume, it absorbs excess oil, and it leaves my hair looking really good. My hair isn't as shiny once the dry shampoo is in, but it doesn't look dirty. Granted, it's basically just spraying powder into your hair, but once you rough your hair up a bit and get the powdery look to go away, it's a great result. Just thought I'd pass along the discovery.


how awesome is this?

instructions to make it here. You basically just tack a feather boa to a shirt and then make the feet out of dishwashing gloves! GAHHHHHHHHHH PLEASE make one of your nieces/nephews wear this in October!! Or really, at any point before the age of 5!

T-shirt Quilts?

Has anyone out there ever had a t-shirt quilt made or made a t-shirt quilt themself? I'm looking for something along these lines but I don't know if there is one service that people have used that is more reputable than another...I don't want to send away all my t-shirts and have them come back all mangled and not looking good :-( Ideally I would just do it myself but I'm pretty sure I'd mess that up too and it would take roughly 324 years for me to complete, at which point a t-shirt quilt would be of little use to me. I just have so many UVA/XO/life t-shirts in my closet and they have sentimental value so I don't want to get rid of them, but I don't want to keep them around either because I don't wear them...so I thought a t-shirt quilt would be a good idea...thoughts?

Friday, June 11, 2010

This morning...

I was driving to work and I pulled up behind a truck that had a bunch of new cars on it (you know what I mean? Like when they're driving to the car dealership?) and I found myself wondering, are those cars autobots or decepticons?


Thursday, June 10, 2010

Is Olivia Newton-John a XO?

Is it just me or is she carrying red & yellow balloons and a white carnation?

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Quotes from what I'm currently reading

It'll probably be a little bit before I review this book (Olive Kitteridge) on the book review blog, but I wanted to share these quotes that I've particularly enjoyed so far (I forgot to record page numbers, but they'd be different in every edition anyway):

"'I'll stay with you.' And so they sat. The lamp from the side table threw a dim and serious light throughout the silent room. She took a deep, quiet breath and thought how she did not envy those young girls in the ice cream shop. Behind the bored eyes of the waitresses handing out sundaes there loomed, she knew, great earnestness, great desires, and great disappointments; such confusion lay ahead for them, and (more wearisome) anger; oh, before they were through, they would blame and blame and blame, and then get tired, too,"

"Sometimes, like now, Olive had a sense of just how desperately hard every person in the world was working to get what they needed. For most, it was a sense of safety in the sea of terror that life increasingly became. People thought love would do it, and maybe it did. But even if, thinking of the smoking Ann, it took three different kids with three different fathers, it was never enough, was it?"

"As she stepped out of the school that night, into the wintry air, walking with the talking Henry to their car in the far parking lot, she had the sensation that she had been seen. And she had not even known she'd felt invisible."

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Random? Check.

A couple of thoughts:
  1. Do you remember when you were little and you thought to yourself, I can't wait to be a grownup so that I can stay up as late as I want and I can eat entire rolls of raw cookie dough and I can...I don't know, do other dumb shit your parents said you couldn't do when you were little? And now you're "grown up" and eating an entire roll of cookie dough makes you sick and you like to be in bed at 10 pm so that you don't feel like crap the next morning? We all know that I may or may not have children, but if I do, I may just let them do all that stupid stuff when they're little and their young bodies can handle the insanity. What do you think? Don't let me babysit your children.
  2. Not sure if it's only sold seasonally, but the Apple Spice Bread Mix from Trader Joe's is pretty good. Really easy to make.
  3. I liked last Sunday way more than this Sunday. Why? Because it was followed by Sunday part deux, also known as Memorial Day. Sigh.

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

You probably don't care, BUT...

the book blog has been updated recently - now i'm only behind by 4 books!! :-)

Don't provoke me.

You know those yellow signs that people hang in their car windows that say "Baby on Board"?

Really, it just makes me want to tailgate them.

Someday I'm going to get a sign made that looks just like that sign but says "Babies are the WORST."

...except I'm pretty sure that would lead to my car getting keyed, and since my car IS my baby...hmmm...maybe I need to think this one through more.

I know it's Tuesday, but I think I'm still having a case of the Mondays, which I think is valid considering that yesterday was a holiday.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Really awesome quotes about running

I found this blog today - check it out for really awesome motivational quotes (most specifically related to running).

This was my favorite:
“Every morning in Africa, an antelope wakes up. It knows it must outrun the fastest lion, or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest antelope, or it will starve. It doesn’t matter whether you’re the lion or an antelope – when the sun comes up, you’d better be running.” – African Proverb

I think I'm the lion.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Lyrics I'm liking lately

Just wanted to share with you:
(from "Forever" by Drake, Kanye, Eminem, etc...)

"last name Ever, first name Greatest,
Like a sprained ankle, boy I ain't nothin' to play with"

"life is such a roller coaster, then it drops
but what should I scream for? this is my theme park"

"he's wondering if he should spit this slow,
fuck no, go for broke"

and i know people think it's weird that i listen to so much hip-hop/rap, but i just love the lyrics. i think rappers are better lyricists than other types of musicians (except maybe John Mayer) - I feel like people in other genres of music rely too much on their melodies and don't worry about what their music is actually saying. and i find the messages/themes in rap to be much more motivational than those in other types of music. honestly, a lot of the time, i really don't want to hear about other people being in love. it just makes me want to punch someone or vomit.

yep, happy monday!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

So that we can never race "In Memory of" again.

If you don't like it when I get all soap-boxy and emotional and passionate about things, this probably isn't going to be the post for you. Feel free to check back another time.

So after I did the Columbus half marathon on May 1st (and felt like ass) I said I was going to stop racing for a while.

Then I didn't.

I found out the Race for the Cure was on May 15th downtown and I had to do it. I just think it's such an important race, such an important cause - and I knew it would be a great race to experience.

My friend Katie's mother Mary passed away from breast cancer in September of 2001. I ran in memory of her, and when I wrote her name on the paper that I pinned to the back of my shirt, I just felt so...shattered by the whole thing. I don't know anything about cancer research...but I have hope that we're going to see a cure in our lifetime.

I know I've mentioned this before, but my mom had ovarian cancer when I was in high school, and my aunt had breast cancer. They both survived (thank God) - but it means that the chances of me getting either breast or ovarian cancer (or both, really) are greater than those of the average woman. And that scares the hell out of me. But being downtown yesterday with 50,000 other people rallying to support research to find the cure for breast cancer - there was just so much hope and so much joy and spirit there.

Right before they started the race, two trolleys full of survivors drove through the group of participants who had lined up and waved out the windows at everyone. I cried. I kept thinking to myself yesterday, did I want to get up at 6:30 and drive downtown to run 3.1 miles? No. But do I want to wake up in 20 years and have breast cancer without a cure? Hell no. I'm blessed to have the opportunity to be able to do things like that now - I have to do them. There's no other choice.

The race started and everyone took off - there were bands every half mile and it was just such a celebration of survivors more than anything else, and celebration of the hope that we're going to find a cure. One of the bands was a drum line - a bunch of kids from a local high school - and they were so badass. Then - in the last 1/2 mile of the race - two straight city blocks were lined with big tough dudes and their motorcycles, revving the engines. It was. So. Cool. I high fived five of the guys.

I've done four races in the last 3 months and - even counting the two half marathons - this was the most emotional and inspiring. It just left me wanting to go attack life.

As for what attacking life entails, I'm not quite sure yet. But stay tuned. I'm sure it'll be entertaining.

This is way less important than the general message of the race and the experience of the race itself, but I was also proud because I broke 30 minutes for my 5k time - which I know isn't a big deal for some people, but it was for me! I finished in 29:49 according to my sports watch. Official times yet to be posted.

Passionate diatribe over.

In general "Whatever, I do what I want" news:
I'm getting back into riding horses. I used to ride when I was little - a lot. Like, for years. I leased a horse for one summer and was basically a barn rat (when I wasn't being a pool rat). Always there. Hanging out with my horse. I probably didn't smell very good that summer. Anyway a few weeks ago I decided that I missed riding and I looked into local barns to see if I could start taking lessons again - really all I want is access to a horse. So I went for my first lesson back yesterday and it was really fun - it was a gorgeous day (thanks, Ohio for the top-down weather the past couple of days) and I rode a thoroughbred named Oliver. He had a bit of attitude - wasn't really all that into trotting and would stop to walk whenever he damn well pleased, but let's be real, I have a bit of attitude and like to do whatever I want too, so we got along well. We just did a bit of walking and trotting around the outdoor ring and I got my posting rhythm back. Next time, getting back into cantering...and maybe at some point I'll get back into jumping again. All I really want is access to the horse and the barn and a trail - I want to take a horse out once a week or so and just chill the eff out, get away from everything. So. That was cool. I'll take a picture of Oliver next week to show you (or you can see him here).

And I saw the Batmobile driving around Columbus twice yesterday. No joke. I was out in New Albany picking my friend Heather up to go downtown to dinner (we were looking for men. We failed.) and the freaking Batmobile drove by me at a stoplight. My phone was connected to the stereo so I couldn't whip it out and take a picture for evidence. Heather just laughed when I told her that I had seen the Batmobile outside her apartment, but THEN we were sitting at dinner downtown and IT DROVE BY AGAIN. I started screaming and pointing and waving my hands. After she finished having a heart attack Heather turned around and saw it outside. And I was validated. As to why the Batmobile is driving around Columbus...no idea (I just googled Columbus Batmobile and came up with nothing good). This is the version it looked like:

And I'm out.

Friday, May 14, 2010

I am such a proud mama

I was watching Modern Family the other night (as all awesome people do) and lo and behold, what was Haley wearing, but ONE OF MY SKIRTS! She was wearing our awesome printed underlayer denim skirt from Hollister! I was so proud!

I mean, granted, she was wearing it in an episode where she got sloppy drunk, but whatever. See below!!So much pride!

I know I complain about my job (a lot) but it is really satisfying when you see something that you worked really hard on looking cute on someone!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Another conversation between myself and Heather

So I have this totally blinged out case for my iPhone - the entire thing is covered in hot pink rhinestones. I love it. It's hilarious. Not many people get that it's meant to be ironic. But it is.

Anyway I dropped it yesterday and one of the corners of the case cracked off, so now it looks even trashier than it did in the first place, and I have to replace it.

So I went to www.blingblingcases.com (no, i'm not kidding) to look for a new phone cover...and then that led me to www.letscrystalit.com where I could DESIGN MY OWN PHONE COVER. MADE OF CRYSTALS.

So then this happened (via e-mail):
heather: your case should be "B$"...and then have them draw an accurate representation of your face underneath.

me:...in crystal. i'd be winking.

heather: obvi. and there should be a twinkle in your eye (the open one). although that would be hard to represent since your entire face would be made out of crystals.

me: yeah, i mean there would be a twinkle in my FACE. my face would be one giant twinkle.

heather: you are a giant twinkle.

me: that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me

heather: it was supposed to be read as if it was shouted in an angry loud aggressive voice.

me: nope, that's not what happened.

end scene.

Friday, May 07, 2010

It was a Bridget Jones moment.

So I was e-mailing with my high school best friend yesterday and she recommended that I read this book that she was also reading - called In the Meantime by some lady whose name starts with an I. I'm too lazy to look it up at the moment.

So anyway after work yesterday I went to Barnes & Noble (let's be real, I was just looking for an excuse to drive around with the top down on a sunny day in the high 70s) and bought the book. Then I went to CPK and enjoyed dinner alone while reading the first few pages of the book.

And then I realized.

I am a 26 year old single woman who sits at restaurants eating dinner by herself reading self-help books about what you're to do "in the meantime" before you find true love.

And I burst out laughing. GAaaaaaaaaahhhhhHHHHhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

In case you haven't noticed

...which I hope you haven't because it keeps me from looking like a giant idiot...

I have terrible taste in men. Like, awful. I'm just not attracted to good guys. When they're nice people and they treat me well and they show me normal amounts of affection, I get bored and tired of the whole thing and I treat them badly, eventually breaking things off with them in favor of finding the next distraction.

So I'm trying to retrain myself and change my taste and I was wondering - do you think that's possible? Can we CHANGE what we find attractive?

Then I thought about my eating habits - when I was younger I would eat Super Sized value meals at McDonald's (I'm not kidding), sweets all the time, drink at least 1 Coke every day (as Octavio would say, "full fat" Coke, not Diet Coke), and never really think about anything whole grain. All white bread & pasta, all the time. Occasionally I would eat a chicken breast, but even then, it was breaded and coated in butter. At the time, it didn't bother me, but now just thinking about ingesting that kind of crap literally makes me sick - just thinking about it.

As I've grown older and changed my habits, I've stopped eating that kind of stuff - and the thing is, I don't even want to eat it. I mean, sure, occasionally nothing will cure the itch like some McDonald's fries, but generally speaking, I crave veggies, whole grains, water, etc.

Do you think I can change my taste in men too, as all the crap I'm currently ingesting is making me sick?

And if so, HOW?

Food for thought. Pun intended.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

Meet the new addition to the family.

When she's being classy she keeps her top on (that goes for me and the car):

But when it's party time she likes to go topless (that only goes for the car):

She says Meow, I am the Kitty. Purrrrrrrrrrrrr.:
Jiff was having a really hard time for the past year and in turn, was making ME have a really hard time. It was time for a change. Change is good. Even though I did cry for about half an hour when I said goodbye to Jiff (yes, I said goodbye to her, alone, in the parking lot at the dealership) and I'm pretty sure everyone at the dealership thought I was nuts. Whatever, I do what I want.

So the new car's first name is Murphy because when I was crying about saying goodbye to Jiff, my oh-so-sensitive father said "Yeah, it's an emotional goodbye, but not as emotional as saying goodbye to Murphy." and I was like, "oh, yes, thanks Dad, I'm already upset, so why don't you remind me that you put my dog to sleep?" Great timing.

So anyway since the new babe is black and Murph was black, her first name is Murphy. Now, the options for her last name are:
Thundercat (Inspired by "Shake Ya Tailfeather" -- "They be like he the man when I'm really a Thundercat")
Optimus Prime (since she's a Transformer. I went for Bumblebee first but she doesn't have any yellow in her. And Prime is more badass).

Any other suggestions? I know she's a girl but I don't think my name is really all that girly so hers doesn't need to be either. So far her theme lyric is "My chick bad, my chick hood, my chick do stuff that your chick wish she could."

And anytime you hear this, just think of me:
"My whips push button, no car keys man
Pop the top like a sardine can
Wrist stay flooded like New Orleans man (yeah i don't really know what that means, but whatever, i'm still gangsta)
Lebron can't stop how I be ballin' man"

More quotes

because apparently I don't feel like writing anything original lately. whatever, get psyched.

"Success isn't permanent and failure isn't fatal." Mike Ditka

"Show me a man who never failed and I'll show you a man who never tried anything hard enough." Allen Waimsley

"If not you, who? If not now, when?" Garry Herbert

"Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." Lance Armstrong

"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence." Vince Lombardi

"I've always made a total effort, even when the odds seemed entirely against me. I never quit trying; I never felt that I didn't have a chance to win." Arnold Palmer

never thought about losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. We all have to take defeats in life." Muhammad Ali

"The vision of a champion is someone who is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion when no one else is watching." Anson Dorrance

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Random - good - quotes.

"I've heard that it's possible to grow up, I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way. We whisper secrets with our best friend in the dark. We look for comfort where we can find it. And we hope against all logic, against all experience, like children, we never give up hope."
meredith grey

"After careful consideration, and many sleepless nights, here is what I have decided, there is no such thing as a grownup. We move on, we move out, we move away from our families and form our own. But the basic insecurities, the basic fears, and all those old wounds just grow up with us and just when we think life and circumstance force us to be an adult your mother says something like that, or worse something like that. We get bigger. We get taller. We get older, but for the most part we're still a bunch of kids running around the playground desperately trying to fit in."
meredith grey

"You don't run against a bloody stop watch, do you hear? A runner runs against himself, against the best that's in him. Not against a dead thing of wheels and pulleys. That's the way to be great, running against yourself. Against all the rotten mess in the world. Against God, if you're good enough." — Bill Persons

Musical help please?

I decided to run the half marathon this weekend with my iPod to see how it compares to my experience running the one in Charlottesville without my iPod. Therefore, I need to make a playlist that will last roughly 2.5 hours (I AM SLOW, get over it...maybe I should get over it first). Would you be a dear and tell me what your favorite workout/pump-up/energy songs are so I can include them on my playlist? I am in desperate need of some new inspiration...

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Wow that got out of control fast

Alright, I have to tell you the whole story. I thought I could get away with not doing it, but I can't.

Today I was talking to my friend Paul and I said "And you know, that's another stone in my...court." and Paul was like "What? What does that mean? Is that a thing? I don't think I've ever heard that before"
me- "yeah, I just made it up. feel free to use it."

So then I was talking to my friend Heather ABOUT that conversation because she made dragony a word (another story, another day) and I told her about the phrase and she said "its really weird and makes no sense you know. i'm not using it. ever."

me - "it makes a TON of sense. whoever has the most stones in their court wins. I WIN."
her- "haha, what court? like a basketball court? or a kingly court? and is someone throwing stones AT you?"
me - "a kingly court, obvi. no one is throwing them at me, they're too large to be thrown, so they have to be pushed. i am sitting on a throne observing."

Then I included this illustration: (caption says me, sitting in my stately robe (not a snuggie) on my throne as more stones are pushed into my court. i'm holding my golden scepter with the giant ruby on top.)So she shows this picture to her table and a girl at her table thinks that the representation of me in the drawing is meant to be JESUS and this is JESUS overseeing the rolling of the stone away from the mouth of the cave. So I write back:

"i feel compelled to destroy her argument step by step:
1) jesus never carried a scepter
2) jesus never wore a purple robe as far as i know
3) jesus always wore sandals or went barefoot
4) no one else was PRESENT at the rolling away of the stone, hence the MYSTERY as to where jesus was when the others arrived and the stone was already moved. had he been present, i doubt he would have been wearing a robe, sitting on a throne, and holding a scepter. "

"ha- emily wants to rebuff your arguments as follows:

1. in her mind, it as a visual representation of jesus "king of kings" in his robe and sceptor as the stone was rolled away.
2. she wants to know how you know what the rolling away of was like? "

my rebuttal:
"1) see point 4 below
2) i just spent 5 minutes on www.bible.com trying to find the description, but as i recall some women came upon the cave where his body was laid and the stone at the mouth of the cave had been moved and the only thing in the cave was the fabric his body had been wrapped in. there is no mention of witnesses so i doubt anyone was present. aside from me, that is. i was there. that's how i know.
3) when i typed wrapped above, at first i typed cwrapped, which, when you say it out loud and you're referring to the body of Christ, is really funny. "

so then i get:
"emily wants to sing you a song:

jesus loves me this i know for the bible tells me so, bridget is full of crap, this i know because jesus told me so last night in my dream. "

and i say:
"sing her this back:
jesus doesn't appear in dreams you little effing heathen, only gabriel does, so you're a charlatan, and jesus pities you, as do i, lalalalala"

"um, jesus doesn't like your potty mouth."

and finally, mine:
"she started it."

Phew. The end. But I hope you thought that was as funny as I did.

Impromptu playlist sharing

So I just made a new playlist. General theme: being single is awesome (yeah yeah yeah, no, I don't really want to talk about it anymore but thanks for asking, and no, Austin, this doesn't mean that you can stop playing phone tag with me).

I know some of you will never need this playlist as you have already found your lobster, but I guess it could also just be a general female/self empowerment mix, so, ya know. If you want it...it's below. Lizzy maybe I will burn you a copy of this since you didn't like the hardcore rap mix I sent you for some ridiculous reason.

Some of the songs are just included because I just downloaded them (cough...all glee madonna songs...cough). But where it applies, I've put in the lyrics of the song that made me include it.

Btw, if you have any suggestions of songs I should listen to right now, please send along. And no, before you ask, I'm not heartbroken or insane as many of the below lyrics suggest, but sometimes it's just to not be the most dramatic thing around trying to express what you're feeling.

stand beside me - jo dee messina
"Stand beside me
Be true, don't tell lies to me
I'm not lookin' for a fantasy
I want a man that who stands beside me"

acoustic #3 - goo goo dolls
"And I wonder where these dreams go
When the world gets in your way
What's the point in all this screaming?
No one's listening anyway"

apologize - timbaland featuring one republic
"and you say sorry like the angel
heaven let me think was you
but i'm afraid
it's too late to apologize"

back that thang up - juvenile
before he cheats - carrie underwood
"I dug my key into the side
Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive
Carved my name into his leather seat
I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights
Slashed a hole in all 4 tires
And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats"
(and no, i didn't, but in my head, i did)

the best is yet to come - michael buble
"the best is yet to come, and won't that be fine,
you think you've seen the sun, but you ain't seen it shine"

blah blah blah - ke$ha
"stop talk talk talking that blah blah blah,
think you'll be getting this? nah nah nah"

borderline/open your heart - glee cast
bossy - kelis
"you don't have to love me
you don't even have to like me
but you will respect me
you know why?
'cause i'm a boss!
can't stop starin',
she's fine and she's pretty
flossing, you say "how much it cost me?"
about a million dollars, playa, she's bossy!"

breakin' dishes - rihanna
"i'm gettin' restless, i'm gettin' tested,
i can't believe he's always out every night and never checks in
is he cheatin'? i don't know
i'm lookin' around for something else to throw"

cleanin' out my closet - eminem
"give 'em hell long as i'm breathin'
keep kickin' ass in the morning,
taking names in the evening"
(as an aside, we almost had that put on t-shirts for the UVA women's rowing team at the South Central Championships Regatta because we would race heats in the morning and finals in the evening...we won the regatta. I really wish we had made those tshirts. Pretty sure I'd wear it every single day.)

come on get higher - matt nathanson
dead and gone - TI feat. JT
"that part of me left yesterday
the heart of me is strong today"

defying gravity - wicked original broadway cast
(i could basically put in this entire song, but in particular...)
"Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes and leap"
"Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I've lost
Well, if that's love
It comes at much too high a cost"
"And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity"

dirrty - christina aguilera
don't stop believin' - glee cast
"some will win, some will lose
some were born to sing the blues"

fifteen - taylor swift
"'Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you
You're gonna believe them
And when you're fifteen feeling like there's nothing to figure out
Well, count to ten, take it in
This is life before you know who you're gonna be"
"But in your life you'll do things greater than
Dating the boy on the football team"
"Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
But I realized some bigger dreams of mine"

the heart of the matter - india.arie
heartbreak warfare - john mayer
"How come the only way to know how high you get me
is to see how far I fall
God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me
but I can't break through at all."

i do not hook up - kelly clarkson
"oh, no, i do not hook up, i go slow
so if you want me, i don't come cheap
keep your hand in my hand
and your heart on your sleeve"

i still haven't found what i'm looking for - u2
"well i believe in the kingdom come
that all the colors will bleed into one
but yes i'm still running
you broke the bonds and you loosed the chains
you carried the cross of my shame
you know i believe it
but i still haven't found what i'm looking for"

like a virgin - glee cast
the long way around - dixie chicks
"Well, I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I hurt myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself

But I, I could never follow
No I, I could never follow

Well I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found

Takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around"

long way down - timbaland feat. daughtry
"I hear it's such a long way down
And the climb back up ain't as easy as it sounds
I hear it's such a long way down
And the climb back up is just something I can do without
Something I can do without"

manhattan - kings of leon
me and mrs. jones - michael buble
the moment i said it - imogen heap
"The moment I said it,
The moment I opened my mouth
Lead in your eyelids,
Bulldozed the life out of me"

mother mother - the veronicas
"mother mother, can you hear me?
sure i'm sober, sure i'm sane
life is perfect, never better
still your daughter, still the same"

poor lil rich - 50 cent
ring the alarm - beyonce
(this song is really effing awesome if you're an angry woman)
"tell me how i should feel when i know what i know
and my female intuition tellin' me you a dog
people told me 'bout the flames i couldn't see through the smoke"

single ladies - beyonce
(umm, no explanation required)

solsbury hill - peter gabriel
"Till I thought of what I'd say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom boom boom
"Hey" he said "Grab your things
I've come to take you home.""

somebody to love - glee cast
"Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!

Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?"

stuntin' like my daddy - birdman & lil wayne
"it ain't my birthday but i got my name on the cake"

swing ya rag- TI
unusual you - britney spears
"nothing about you is typical
nothing about you is predictable
you got me all twisted and confused
didn't anyone tell you,
you're supposed to
break my heart, i expect you to"

what it feels like for a girl - glee cast
"hurt that's not supposed to show and
tears that fall when no one knows
when you're trying hard to be your best
could you be a little less?
do you know what it feels like for a girl?
do you know what it feels like for a girl in this world?"

womanizer - britney spears

"you can play brand new to all the other chicks out here
but i know what you are, what you are, baby
baby you got all the puppets with their strings up
fakin' like a good one but i call 'em like i see 'em
i know what you are, what you are, baby"

Monday, April 19, 2010

I finished my first half marathon!

And because of that, I am tired, so to see pics from the finish line, look at Lizzy's blog.

I had SUCH a great support group this weekend. Lizzy made me a good luck banner and let me sleep in her bed the night before the race so I would be well rested (I still tossed and turned all night but that was my anxiety's fault, not her bed's). She made cute posters for Annie and me (see pics on her blog), and waited to cheer us on at the finish line (she had to wait a little longer for me, haha). Josh brought me a Koala (long story) who I carried across the finish line with me (I'll post pics when the official pics are posted). Quotes from the people I passed with the koala: "Look, she has a koala!" "She's got her TEDDY!" Koala really enjoyed wearing my medal after we crossed the finish line. I think he is going to train for his own half marathon now. My sister Meghan also drove down for the day on Saturday and spent time with me and my friends.

The race was hilly, it was hard, but most of all, it was FUN. It reminded me how much I love racing (from my days of rowing). I am way less competitive when it comes to running though - in rowing I was out to beat my competitors, in running I am really just sort of along for the ride, the sweat, and the scenery. This weekend was a reminder that there really is no more beautiful place than Southern Virginia. And a reminder that I have WONDERFUL friends! Thanks everyone :-)

Monday, April 12, 2010

All geared up

OK so I think I'm ready for the race on Saturday morning (did I just jinx myself?).

1) I have my outfit ready. I did my long run this weekend in my super cool aerodynamic (nerdy) running hat and it was pretty great. Also in my running shirt (hottest hot pink there is), also pretty great.

2) I am officially tapering. 6 miles this Saturday, 4 miles this morning...just a couple more workouts before the race.

3) I am (I AM! STOP ARGUING WITH YOURSELF BRIDGET) making myself get up at 6 every day this week so it won't be quite a shock to my body when I have to start the race at 6:30 on Saturday morning. 1 day of this down, 4 to go. Will be especially hard on Friday morning when I'm not going to work that day...

4) I got a new water bottle that I kind of "wear" on my hand (pictured below). It has a little strap on it that makes it so I can just slip my hand in and carry it effortlessly. I think it's cool because it looks like it's wearing its own little backpack. It carries my "Shot Blocks" which are basically just jelly energy supplements (candy) that I eat when I'm doing long runs. They're tasty. I got home from my dance class yesterday and wanted to eat one but I have to restrict myself because they're only for serious workout time.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

I apparently can't stop posting today

This one is interactive.

You need to watch the below while reading this post:

These are just my comments on this video, if you want to know them. And yes I do like this song. And yes this is my 5th time listening to it today.

Now, press play.
0:25 -- Justin's little crush turns to her friend and says (what I think is) "I can do that" after he bowls a strike.
0:31 -- She can't. There are clearly pins standing when they pan away. The pins they then cut back to show falling are not the pins that were still standing. FAKE. She's an idiot.
0:40 -- Are Justin and his crush wearing matching grey jackets? Bad sign.
1:00 -- Justin are you old enough to be at this bowling alley without your parents?
1:03 -- She just pushed you away for the 3rd time. Take a hint.
1:14 -- When did Jazzy Jeff show up? Does Will Smith know he's there?
1:16 -- Dance move clearly stolen from Brit Brit. Bad sign #2. Justin are you sure you like this girl and not maybe...her brother?
1:17 -- No (see 1:00)
1:30 -- I'm sorry, what the EFF was that dance move?
1:35 -- Yeah, rolling over pool tables, not the best way to get women back. Not the best way to do anything, really.
1:51 -- If I were that girl I'd rather date his breakdancing friend than Justin. Or, for that matter, her breakdancing friend.
2:00 -- It just got all West Side Story up in here.
2:13 -- Luda, you might as well have yelled "SELLOUT!"
2:53 -- And commence Vogue-ing
3:16 -- exactly.
3:32 -- WHAT? Does that ending make sense to ANYONE? What won her over? I don't think it was the pool table rolling...

Cold prickley

I just remembered this story and it was so characteristic of me that I HAD to share it with you...

In 4th grade my teacher's name was Miss Prehn. It was her first year teaching. She decided to introduce the concept of "Warm Fuzzies" to our class (bad idea, we were terrible people). She told us that a "Warm Fuzzy" was when you said or did something nice for someone without expecting anything in return. We would have a little cubby or mailbox in the classroom, and you could pick up a piece of paper designed for the warm fuzzies (they had a picture of Calvin and Hobbes hugging on them) and write a note to someone else and leave it in their mailbox anonymously.

So then Miss Prehn asked us to give an example of what a good warm fuzzy would be, and Sara Morgan (sorry if you read this blog Sara, but I haven't talked to you in years so I'm gonna go with probably not) raised her hand and gave Miss Prehn an example of how to impart a warm and fuzzy feeling to another human being. Not being familiar with/supportive of this practice in general, I elbowed my friend next to me and rolled my eyes at her - and Miss Prehn TOTALLY called me out and said "Bridget, that would be a good example of a cold prickley."

So yeah, I've been an asshole since I was 9. What I want to know is, where were the notes designed for Cold Prickleys so that I could tell everyone else how much I hated them and that their haircut was stupid?

Tellin' it like it is...


So you know how Ludacris yells his name to announce himself before he starts rapping? I think I should do that in like, general conversation. Just be like "BRIDGET!" and then start talking because obviously everyone else will have shut up to stare at me. I started talking with my friend Heather (the one who wanted to high kick me recently) and she thinks my rapper name should be "Bridgety Bridge" but I think it should be "BMoney." What do you think?

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

I have listened to this song roughly 10 times today.

"Edge of Desire" by John Mayer from Battle Studies.

If you haven't heard it before, please go here right now to listen to it.

The lyrics are amazing (below). I decided today that if John Mayer and I ever ended up in a romantic relationship, all of the emotions in the world would be absorbed into our relationship and there would be no emotion left over for anyone else. Stranger things have happened.

"Young and full of running
Tell me where has that taken me?
Just a great figure eight or a tiny infinity?

Love is really nothing
But a dream that keeps waking me,
For all of my trying
We still end up dying, how can it be?

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me,
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see,
I want you so bad, I'll go back on the things I believed,
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me.

So young and full of running, all the way to the edge of desire
Steady my breathing, silently screaming,
"I have to have you now"
Wired and I'm tired
Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor
Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis and find me on yours

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

Don't say a word just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me"

Monday, April 05, 2010

I heart Preppy Things.

Work is extremely slow this week (again) so I was catching up on some blogs, etc this morning - read my book news on the NYTimes website and saw that they're releasing a sequel of sorts to The Official Preppy Handbook this year. If you haven't read The Official Preppy Handbook, you should. Especially if you attended The University or you plan to attend The University at some point in the future (you know who you are). I usually don't employ the phrase The University because I know how obnoxious it is, but I figured that since I'm writing a post about being preppy, it worked.

Anyway I stumbled across two interesting blogs that are mentioned in the article I was reading and thought you might want to check them out too...the first one (very cute) is like a stereotypical UVa srat girl in blog form:
Monograms and Manicures --> she mentions going to college "in Virginia" for a year before transferring to Minnesota -- chances she meant UVa ???
Summer is a Verb

Meow meow, Happy Monday, Welcome back Jesus.

Friday, April 02, 2010

I'm not even mad, I'm just impressed

This happened during a work IM conversation this afternoon:

Bridget /... i want to leave at 5

Heather /... i want to leave at 4:59 so i can walk ahead of you and then turn around really fast and high kick you.

And you people wonder why I am the way I am.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

What happens in Vegas ends up on this blog

I have returned from Vegas 100% intact. Well, my wallet took a beating (more at JCrew than in the casinos) but you know, you go to Vegas to spend money, and at least I came back with goodies to show for it.

Some of my favorite Vegas stories:
We (Lizzy, Molly, Annie, Bridget) are walking down Las Vegas Blvd and a guy runs up next to us and says:
"Hey ladies are you going out tonight?"
"No" (all of us)
"Well I wish you would because it's my brother's 21st birthday and we're trying to make this a real party so I wish you would come. So will you be there?"
"Probably not." (me)
"But-" (him)
"We're all married" (Molly Vaughn, flashing her ring finger while I try to hide my conspicuously bare one)
"Welp, see you later!" (him)
There may as well have been a smoke path behind this guy he ran away from us so quickly. I loved it. I laughed all the way back to the hotel.

Molly Vaughn kissing Annie's chin when Annie tried to say goodbye to her (Molly I beg you to please post that story on your blog in more detail, I don't want to steal it)

Annie sitting on Molly's lap while she applied sunscreen to her back instead of both of them standing like capable adults

The shouts that Annie and I got while we went running/jogging down the strip on Saturday evening:
"You're in Vegas!"
"Stop running, you're making me feel lazy!"
"Did you see that? They were jogging"
"Where the hell is the University of Virginia?" (I was wearing a UVa tee. I particularly liked that comment)
Then there was the one aggressive woman who decided to jog alongside the two of us until we lost her...it was obnoxious.
We also passed approximately 7 able bodied (we assume) teenagers racing down the sidewalk on motorized wheelchairs. They each cheered us on as we ran, but the last one was our favorite who simply looked up and said "Hello" as he scooted on by.

All in all the trip was a success (minus my flight being delayed 40 minutes which made me an angry angry girl last night as I didn't even touch the ground until 11:30 pm and I had to get my luggage and be up for work this morning). We ate at Mesa Grill (yum), saw Love by Cirque du Soleil (fun and a little creepy - sorry Lizzy), laid out by the pool at the Wynn and the Encore, gambled a tiny bit (Lizzy DOUBLED HER MONEY!) and basically bought everything on sale in JCrew. If you haven't been to Vegas yet, I urge you to go. It's not what you think it's going to be - everyone can create their own unique version of Vegas.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


So I had an awkward moment on my birthday. We were sitting at the dinner table and there were like 10 of us, and I think we had just finished cutting the birthday cake or something, and someone said "Happy birthday!" and I said "BIRTHDAYYYY!"...so when I said "birthday" excitedly, my friend Paul put up his hand for a high five, and then I followed it up with "NO PARENTS!" He kindly kept his hand there while I completed the high five, but he looked at me like I was crazy.

No one here has ever heard of No Parents. Do you guys remember that?? Was it just us? We used to say that, right? It was a thing? Or did I make this up? I distinctly remember this being yelled (I think by Foley) at FIJI parties, (except it was usually "COLLEGE! NO PARENTS!") so now I can't figure out if it was a FIJI/XO thing, or just a FIJI thing, or really just something I made up and then attributed in my head to one of my favorites.

Can someone please clarify this for me? Because I am totally planning on yelling "VEGAS! NO PARENTS!" this weekend and I don't want it to be awkward.

Monday, March 22, 2010

As seen on Facebook

I have got to stop cross-contaminating my storytelling devices (ie posting the same things on Twitter as I do on Facebook and my blog). You may have already heard this story from my status message this weekend on Facebook, but even if you did, you didn't hear the whole story, so here it is.

Four years ago I started working in Columbus, Ohio. One of the first weekends I was out in Columbus, I went to a bar called Brothers with some friends from my training class. Brothers has a large outdoor patio. They specialize in $1 shots some nights of the week - this might tell you what kind of bar it is and what kind of people patronize Brothers (but I was there, so what can I say). Let's just say it was a good bar to use to transition from college to professional life. And again I use the term professional loosely as it relates to my job.

So my friends and I were standing in a large circle on this outdoor patio and a guy comes up, taps me on the shoulder (kind of aggressively, actually), and says "Hello, you are looking very cool tonight" with a thick accent. I said thanks and tried to go back to my conversation...he persisted. He introduced himself as "Ali-sahn" and stood there talking to me until I gave him a phone number (fake) to get him to leave. He then said "I'll call you right now so you have my number" and I said "Oh I don't have service right now so it must not be coming through" (honestly, men, if this ever happens to you, it is a SURE SIGN that she is fake-numbering you. Just delete the number immediately). Life went on, but my friends and I never forgot the legend of the guy-named-Alison-who-said-you-are-looking-very-cool-tonight. NOR have I forgotten that my friend Paul who was standing next to me at the time did NOT pretend to be my boyfriend to get that CREEP to go away.

Fast forward 4 years to this past Saturday night. I was feeling preeeeetty bad for myself because a guy who I wanted to call me hadn't (he has since gotten in touch and claims he had the wrong phone number for me...I don't know if I buy it, but he's getting the benefit of the doubt for the moment), so I went to Trader Joe's, by myself, at 8 pm on a Saturday night. I am the ultimate of cool, in case you were wondering.

In my self-pity-frenzy, I buy the following (let's see how good my memory is):
apple slices
garlic hummus (love)
2 bags of pretzel thins
1 bag of pita chips
cheese sticks
2 frozen pizzas
sugar snap peas
gallon of milk (this becomes important)
3 frozen-indian-food meals
2 bags of salad greens

Ok I think that's it. Regardless, I buy all of these groceries and I'm struggling to get from the store to my car with two full bags in one hand and my car keys + gallon of milk in the other hand. I exit the store and walk past a guy who appears to be kind of confused (he's just kind of lingering by the entrance). As I walk by he says "Excuse me, miss?" and I turn, thinking that he's lost (he has a foreign accent, and there's a hotel next to Trader Joe's, snap judgement). Guess what he says to me.

No really, just guess.

"You are looking very nice tonight."

Do you see where this story is going?

It was the same mother-effing dude. He, again, talks to me for a solid 5 minutes, even though I repeatedly shift my weight, indicating how uncomfortable I am standing there with my pounds and pounds of groceries, not to mention frozen and refrigerated goods. He says to me "I'm surprised you didn't ask about my accent, I'm French Guinea" to which I thought "I didn't ask because I don't effing care," but to which I replied with some unintelligible bit of murmuring. I mean, at LEAST the guy has updated the word from cool to nice in 4 years, but COME ON.

He asked for my phone number, and I again gave him my go-to fake number.

My life has reached an all-time low.

I mean, yeah, I should be flattered that the same person (really, that ANY person) found me attractive enough multiple times to work up the nerve to speak to me and put himself out there in that way, but COME ON PEOPLE. First of all, women do not appreciate being picked up SO BLATANTLY solely on the basis of their looks. He knew nothing about me aside from the fact that I shopped at Trader Joe's on a Saturday night by myself (scent of desperation?) and that I am female. Oh, and that I wear casual clothing. The end. To me, that is not a good enough reason to ask someone for their phone number, but maybe I just need to carpe my diem a little more. I don't know.

But before you ask, no, I do not for even a second feel bad for giving this guy a fake number. I have zero interest in ever seeing him again, but maybe I'll just give it 4 more years and see how it goes next time around.