26.2

So I guess you're here to hear about the marathon?

Warning - this will likely be the longest post I ever write. So prepare yourself...but I promise that it will not take you as long to read it as it took me to run the marathon.

Full disclosure: My chip time was 5:33:58. I wanted to run it in 5 hours, but I knew pretty quickly that that time was out the window. So then I decided that I'd just focus on having a good time. I wasn't going to win the marathon, so why not just enjoy myself? I walked through water stops, I stopped to take pictures whenever I felt like it, I updated my facebook status, I responded to people's texts...it was great. For a while.

And then it got hard. (twss, sorry, had to).

It happened between mile 14 and 15. I was cruising along, having a great time when I passed the mile 14 marker. And then I hit 15 and I was like "eff. this. it. was. a. terrible. idea." But I told myself to just make it to 16 because I knew my friends Joel and Caroline were there, as well as Jeremy. So I made it to 16, and when I saw Jeremy I started crying (fantastic!) and from there on out it was just a killer.

I couldn't figure it out. When I ran 20 miles, I was fine. Did it suck? Yes. Was it hard? Hell yes. But was it anywhere near this hard? No. And does 6.2 miles of difference explain it? No. So I can't figure it out. What happened? I'm still not sure.

Here's a chart of each mile along with my split for that mile and the facebook update I posted - you can tell pretty easily when things completely fell apart and I started walking more than running:

You can definitely tell that I was fighting it - like, where did mile 18 come from? - but the marathon was winning. 

I think what bugs me most is that I don't know what happened. When I was training, I ran 20 miles in 3:53. I thought that the extra 6.2 would add on an hour and 15 minutes - at most - and it added on an hour and 40 minutes. I thought the adrenaline brought on by race day would help me through those last few miles...and it didn't. Honestly, if anything, I think that the adrenaline converted itself to soreness and settled in my muscles around mile 20 and refused to let go. It just felt like my body was closing in on itself. Like my muscles were so tight that I couldn't force them to move. I was like the tin man and I needed some oil! 

I ate what I normally eat. I stayed fueled. I hydrated so much that I was literally afraid I was going to pee my pants in the last 5 miles (I didn't, don't worry). I tried to stay around my target split and not go out too hard. But it still all came undone. 

One of the sadder parts was that I was so far towards the back of the pack that most spectators had left the course by the time I reached each part of it. By the time I reached 0.1 miles to the finish, a spot that last year was PACKED with people, there was literally no one left. Not exactly the finish you imagine in your head. I can't blame the spectators - it's hard to hang out when fewer and fewer runners are going by...but it was kind of sad. And the cops started letting cars/people cross in front of runners when there was space. Also kind of discouraging. 

ANYWAY. This is a super depressing post so far, and I get that, but it's time to turn it around and focus on the good parts. 

I ran a marathon. Well, I ran/walked/hobbled/limped/cried a marathon. It still hasn't really hit me. I'm saying the words, but it's like I don't understand what they mean. I survived a marathon. Maybe that's more apt. I really, really, really enjoyed the miles before I fell apart. They were great. Great weather, I was feeling good, etc. 

But most of all - 

I had amazing support from my family and friends. Amazing. Second to none. I was talking to Lizzy today and sort of had an "a-ha" moment because -- anyone can run a marathon. Seriously. You can do it. You can. If you train hard enough, long enough (or in my case, even if you don't), you can do it. Shhhh, stop saying you can't. You can. But not everyone has the friends and family that I have. You guys were amazing. I can't say it enough. 

I received texts from the following people during the race:

Katie Gerwin

Austin Kristoff

Christa Connelly

Karen Patterson

Jared Kaufman

Patrick Horvat

Paul Soper

Emily Facet

Cookie Johnson

Dave McCall

Josh Mallett

Kevin (my brother)

Kelly Cooper

Kevin Osborn

Heather (Hezzbot) Kryder

Molly Laufer

Elizabeth (Lizzy) Steel

Chase Maggiano

Jeremy (the boyfriend)

Meghan (my sister)

20 people. 20. 20 people took time out of their days to think about me and send me messages that I needed during the race. And I'm not talking about one text here or there. These people sent me multiple messages. Funny quotes. Funny pictures. Whatever they thought would keep me going. 

And these people commented on Facebook or Twitter:

Mary Schnack

Heather McKay Byrne

Chase Maggiano

Andrea Cilona

Molly Laufer

Aubree Jones

Dan Peters

Robert Duncan

Austin Kristoff

TC Power (my aunt)

Ashley Bowman

Gayle Schmith

Joel Bennink (who waited for me to pass by mile 16)

Brad Christmann

Anastasia Thermos Nietzel (my cousin)

Jeff Haid

Therese Power Barrett (my cousin)

Luis Archila

John Pfabe

Molly Buchanan Vaughn 

Rob Narvaez

Carman Fung

Katie Gerwin

Mike Brown

Sara Morgan

Michelle Kosterich

Julia Bottiny

Meg Foster

Jillian Hamilton

Erin McCaffery

Amber Lippold

Carron Griffin DeGrass

Kevin (my brother)

Jennene Lausier

Michael Perkey

Annie Coghill

Josh Mallett

Tera Duff

Brittany Saxe

Jean Stanislaw

Dan Laufer

Mario Ramirez

Kendra Sands 

Chicago (not the city....it's a person haha)

Jenn Botts Riley

Kelly Cooper

Heather Kryder

Gabi Gali 

Jen Carcich

49 people. I know, I know, Facebook is Facebook, it's not hard to click "Like" or leave a comment, but the effort expended compared to the impact it had on me was monumental. These people could just as easily have just breezed on by the (million) status updates I made and not said anything. But they took a few seconds and commented and it meant the world to me. 

My dad, brother, and sister came up to cheer me on, and brought a ridiculous balloon so I couldn't miss them:

They saw me between 13-14 and then again at the finish, where they took two of the most unflattering pictures ever:

Like, seriously if my mom tries to make that second picture our Christmas card this year, someone's getting cut (my mom. my mom will get cut). 

But what you REALLY need to see are the official race photos. There are at least two photos of me walking and texting. During a marathon. Which I think is hilarious. I have had some really shitty race photos of myself taken before and so this time I made an effort to smile & wave or throw thumbs up at the camera as I passed which actually was kind of nice & distracting...but it's funny how different I look from how I was feeling at the time each of these photos were taken. 

Back to how awesome my friends are:

Annie sent me an awesome rolling massager stick thing (hard to explain) that you use to rub down/roll out your muscles after runs and that thing is my new best friend. It is amazing and I love it. Lizzy sent me a bouquet of flowers that is shaped to look like a puppy (made out of white carnations, natch) that were just awesome. And yesterday I got to spend time with Molly Laufer because she was in town for a wedding, which was such an awesome treat. My prescription for marathon recovery: eating goat cheese dip & drinking Diet Cokes with Molly Laufer. Works every time. 

Now, on to some of the awesome texts I received during the race:

I think this exchange between myself and Annie really exemplifies how the race went for me:

8:45 am: 

annie: hi b! you're a rockstar!

me: thanks banoo!

9:45 am:

annie: nog! nog!

me: hahahaha!

11:19 am:

annie: go shawty, it's your birthday

me: :) 

11:49 am:

annie: cheers, cheers, to old chi o chi! you bring the whiskey, i'll bring the rye! 

me: i'll bring the murder weapons

12:36 pm:

annie: you are doing sooo great! for the rest of your life you can say you finished a marathon! :)

me: i'm losing it

annie: you are sooooo close! just one foot in front of the other. 

me: yeah.

1:12 pm: 

annie: (funny picture of us from before our 2nd half marathon together) YAY! almost there!

me: zero response because i was approximately dead at this point. 

Other awesome exchanges:

from Josh: I hear Mugsy is waiting at the finish line with Sticks

me: I hear you are MADE OF LIES. 

Jeremy: So close!

Me: AGHHHHBHHHH. (seriously. i included a period)

Lizzy: (with a picture from Reunions where Molly Laufer is CLEARLY SHOVING ME, CAUSING ME TO KNOCK DOWN A PHOTO BACKDROP) Watch out for Molly, she might try to push you over while you're running

Me: RIGHT?!? Jeez. 

Lizzy: Run as fast as you can, ole! (with a funny picture of the two of us)

Me: Dying. 

Meghan (my sister): Running through the ghetto now? How far are you?

Me: 21.6. Dying.

Meghan: You can do this! One step in front of the other!

Me: Am dead now. 

Molly Laufer: YOU DID IT!

Me: I have two miles left to go Smolls

Molly: YOU'RE DOING IT!

And there were many many more - those were just the funniest. 

So anyway. I ran a marathon. And it was hard. Harder than I expected it to be. But if nothing else, it taught me these important lessons:

1) Don't eff around with your training. Do your training, or the marathon will wreck you. 

2) I have amazing friends and family. You guys are the best. I can't express enough how amazing you are. It was hell - but it would have been way, way, way, way worse without all of you supporting me along the way. So all those great messages you've been sending me about how amazing & great it is that I ran a marathon? I'm sending them back to you about what great friends you are.